Someone please tell me it gets better

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Mumoftwo416
Mumoftwo416 Member Posts: 40
edited August 2019 in Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After

So, I started chemo at the end of June. 4AC and 4 Taxol. I’ve done 3 of my AC. Last week I was feeling horrific. I was consumed with the idea of quitting chemo altogether. On Wednesday night/ Thursday morning I got a fever and went to emergency Thursday morning. They admitted me to hospital because my white blood cell count was dangerously low. The spent four days pumping me full of liquids and antibiotics and I was just released yesterday. I was scheduled to have chemo tomorrow, but I said I’m not doing it.

I have found the AC really, really hard. I am feeling defeated. I hate that my kids had to see me the way I was last week. I hate feeling sick and useless so much of the time. And the vomiting last week was awful. Just moving made me throw up. I have two questions:

1. Has anyone skipped their last AC? I honestly cannot wrap my head around doing the last round.

2. Do people generally find the Taxol easier to tolerate than the AC?

Last week I was ready to quite chemo. Now I’m feeling like I’m willing to keep going if I don’t have to do any more AC. I know it’s irrational, but I just cannot get my mind to be okay with doing more

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  • Sam2U
    Sam2U Member Posts: 233
    edited August 2019

    It does get better, I promise!! I had 4 rounds of AC followed by weekly Taxol, I found the Taxol much easier to tolerate than the AC.


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  • santabarbarian
    santabarbarian Member Posts: 3,085
    edited August 2019

    I did not do AC... but no chemo is easy or fun. I know how you feel. I begged to stop after four of my six. I was winded walking from the curb to my front door. I was winded making coffee. I would lie my head on the counter when they were ringing up my purchases. I *begged* for blood. No dice!

    My MO very lovingly explained that the protocol was the protocol, and though I felt like death I was nowhere near death (or even platelets)... and lovingly reminded me the efficacy rates were based on 6 doses.... and he had confidence I could do it and it would not feel much worse than this when finishing. And he was right about that.

    But, I was not as sick as you sound. Can you give yourself a little rest, to feel better? Would a compromise be to delay the next A'C a few days or a week? I have heard of other people getting delays for this sort of thing.

    AND: Have you tried fasting to address nausea? Either way you miss a few days of food, but fasting is WAY more pleasant. Can you get a hydration or vitamin IV the day or two after chemo? Have you tried hyperbaric Ox? Those both made me FEEL better.

    The way they kill the cancer is to make you about as sick as you can be made, without killing you. That's the reality. It sucks!!

    You have something incredible to live for-- to raise your children. I urge you to go pedal to the metal to the wall (except if it is too big a risk of permanent ill health). You are almost there. Most people say T is much better. I send you courage and healing!

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  • Ingerp
    Ingerp Member Posts: 2,624
    edited August 2019

    I didn't have AC but have heard Taxol described as "chemo lite"--I don't remember hearing of anyone who didn't find it easier than AC. Are you keeping up with your anti-nausea meds? I think the skies will be a little brighter when you move on to Taxol.

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  • Mumoftwo416
    Mumoftwo416 Member Posts: 40
    edited August 2019

    Thanks Sam2U.

    Santabarbarian, I am delaying my chemo by a week. I’m going to speak to my oncologist this week about the plan moving forward. I actually did try fasting for rounds 2 and 3. It’s probably unrelated, but I found those two rounds worse. I also got extra IV fluids after round 3. Thanks for the encouragement. If it’s supposed to make me as sick as I can be without killing me, it’s doing its job!

    Thanks Ingerp. Yes, they’ve got me on the Rolls Royce of anti-nausea meds

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  • Ingerp
    Ingerp Member Posts: 2,624
    edited August 2019

    Mum--I was also going to make a recommendation but with your nausea I'm not sure it's doable. I've posted on various threads that I *really* pushed protein while I was in chemo. Ate red meat 5-6 nights a week, had an egg every day, drank a protein shake every day. My blood counts stayed really good throughout--in fact, my MO said I was the first patient she'd seen who was actually making blood through chemo. If you can figure out a way to do it (including those sugary-but-delicious chocolate-flavored protein drinks by Odwalla or Bolthouse Farms), consider increasing your protein intake. (Post script--while Herceptin is supposed to be no-big-deal, I found myself feeling noticeably bad following treatments through the winter. I had cut way back on protein, and wondered if that might be part of the reason. For my remaining Herceptins, I made a point to eat red meat--usually meatloaf--the two nights before treatment and it helped a lot.)

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  • Shellsatthebeach
    Shellsatthebeach Member Posts: 316
    edited August 2019

    My A/C (they don't call it red devil for nothing) had to be delayed by a week because of a raging infection caused by low white count. The good news is that week vacation really helped my body to get stronger and the last A/C was not as bad as I thought it would be. Taxol was so much easier for me. I did not even have to take the nausea medication. Good luck and know that this will be in your rear view mirror soon!

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  • Scrafgal
    Scrafgal Member Posts: 631
    edited August 2019

    yes.....its gets better... I landed in the hospital via ER on the first 2 of 4 FAC infusions! I thought about quitting but I was determined. I asked my MO to help since zofran and compazine did nothing for me.

    He then gave me Emend, a very expensive drug but insurance will now cover it for AC treatments, especially when your MO documents your issues.

    Emend changed my world...probably saved my life because I was able to finish. Try asking about it! For me it was a miracle! I did not feel like vomiting once after getting that drug. Amazing.

    And Taxol was much easier for me...I did that weekly...as I understand it, weekly is more tolerable because individual doses are smaller...same total medicine as the 4 dose regimen.

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  • Margun
    Margun Member Posts: 419
    edited August 2019

    Mumoftwi- it gets better. Taxol was easier for me than Ac.

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  • momand2kids
    momand2kids Member Posts: 1,508
    edited August 2019

    Hi

    so sorry you are going through this--I only had 4 rounds of A/C but I remember at the 3rd one thinking "I am done"... I had a friend who had A/c and she said she made it through 3 treatments-- and she decided that 75% was good enough-- that was in 2001 and she is still fine--- I think you have to do what ever is in your best interest and it sounds like you are really struggling-- you have already gotten a great benefit from A/C--- people do say that the taxol is easier.

    good luck


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  • DiagnosisDisruption
    DiagnosisDisruption Member Posts: 108
    edited August 2019

    I had TCHP, six rounds, and literally ran away from home two days before I was set to have my sixth chemo. Literally, got in the car and drove almost to Canada (I'm in Washington so this is no big feat), dreaming of calling my oncologist and telling her to F*ck off, dreaming about checking into a hotel, away from everyone. I was sick of it all, and I did GREAT during chemo. I felt nauseous very few times, tired a lot, food tasted gross, I felt stupid because my brain wouldn't work, but I was never laid down flat, never threw up, never hospitalized.

    I drove by Costco in Bellingham and realized I needed to buy grapes for work the next day. I turned around, bought grapes, went to work, and the next day did my last TCHP chemo.

    But, yes, like a wayward middle schooler, I ran away from home, stupidly not realizing my tumor was in the car with me.

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  • WC3
    WC3 Member Posts: 1,540
    edited August 2019

    Ingerp:

    I couldn't eat anything meaty during chemotherapy except for the last week before my infusion. It just had a horrible taste.

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  • WC3
    WC3 Member Posts: 1,540
    edited August 2019

    DiagnosisDisruption:

    Mine was delayed a few times due to thrombocytopenia and I did a little happy dance the last few times because it gave me a much needed break.


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  • Mumoftwo416
    Mumoftwo416 Member Posts: 40
    edited August 2019

    Thanks everyone. So helpful to know I’m not the only one who has hit this wall. I’m going to call later today to get an appointment with my oncologist to discuss next steps. I’m still not feeling like I can face my final AC, but maybe that will change as I build my strength up this week. I’m still very weak.

    Scrafgal, I’ve been taking Emend since I started chemo. It’s the only reason Rounds 1 and 2 did not send me running for the hills!

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  • Scrafgal
    Scrafgal Member Posts: 631
    edited August 2019

    Good to hear, Mumoftwo416!

    I had to delay my third round for 5 days...my body just was not ready. As I understand it, small delays don't impact efficacy significantly. Even if it did, I didn't have a choice. As you've suggested, sometimes, you are just not ready...my blood tests told me that! Wishing you well. I know it's hard, and you've come a long way already!

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