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AnxietyAnn58
AnxietyAnn58 Member Posts: 22
edited September 2019 in Not Diagnosed But Worried

Hello. I come here every year for the past 5 years. It's mammogram time, and the stress level is rising. My last mammogram was January 22, 2018. I have been putting off getting one as long as I could. I am so glad I got the courage to make my appointment for next week. I have PTSD from callbacks, but I always get it together to get one. The waiting is the hardest part. All the best to everyone on this site.

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  • Teddy88
    Teddy88 Member Posts: 102
    edited July 2019

    You are not alone. So glad you were brave and made the appt and glad you posted. How will you pass the time? Can you schedule fun things to distract? xx Love, Bell

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  • Cowgirl13
    Cowgirl13 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited July 2019

    Glad you made your appointment, Ann. Thinking positive thoughts for you.

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  • AnxietyAnn58
    AnxietyAnn58 Member Posts: 22
    edited August 2019

    Thanks. I am sure I will be anxious until I get my good results. I am glad that I am more afraid not to take a mammogram than I am to take one. ❤

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  • AnxietyAnn58
    AnxietyAnn58 Member Posts: 22
    edited August 2019

    Well, I got the dreaded call back today. I don't remember what she said, I have an appointment in 2 weeks for more views. I am so sad. I hate this so much. This is torture. I won't say anything to anyone unless there is something to tell. If it was not for this site once again, I don't know what I would do. I was sitting here planning a party for next month and a visit with my Granddaughter this weekend until I got the call. I am trying to hold it together. I know I will hold it together but I am so sad right now.

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  • GiddyupGirl
    GiddyupGirl Member Posts: 240
    edited August 2019

    AnxietyAnn5 - sounds like you've had call backs before that did not have bad news, hopefully this will be one of those times. If it was urgent they would have had you come sooner than two weeks. Keep planning your party and visit you granddaughter this weekend. Don't let the fear rob you of such special times. Hugs and good luck and go hug your granddaughter.

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  • AnxietyAnn58
    AnxietyAnn58 Member Posts: 22
    edited August 2019

    Thanks GiddyupGirl. I still plan on doing these things, it's just that right now I can't get things out of my head. I am sure that my Granddaughter will distract me from thinking about my situation this weekend. Thank you for the words of encouragement.


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  • AnxietyAnn58
    AnxietyAnn58 Member Posts: 22
    edited August 2019

    This morning is not going good for me so far. I am handling this waiting very well on the outside but my insides are in knots. I have no appetite, which is how I always get when highly stressed. I am managing to stay off Google but I think I need to stop reading so much on this site. I need to stop thinking too far ahead. I am so sad and scared and anxious. Just had to get that out.

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  • DiagnosisDisruption
    DiagnosisDisruption Member Posts: 108
    edited August 2019

    You might try getting a hold of your report. Or calling back to ask the doctor for some feedback. I found that being open and honest and annoying at being freaked out leads doctors to handle you a little differently. Me, walking into the oncology office, seeing that stupid brown chair, and randomly bursting into tears actually got me the hand holding I didn't know I needed. And, nope, wasn't this way before cancer. Before cancer, the I-do-it-MYSELF like a two year old was my motto.

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  • AnxietyAnn58
    AnxietyAnn58 Member Posts: 22
    edited August 2019

    DiagnosisDisruption the thing with me is that I don't want to know anything else until I am at my appointments. I am too scared to even look at my report. I am so sad and scared inside. I have had a biopsy(b9) before, the fear that I had through that ordeal, the thought of maybe having to feel those emotions again is terrifying. I couldn't sleep. Every time I woke up..I would realize it was not a bad dream and the sadness was unbearable. But I am still here so I am trying to convince myself that I can handle whatever happens. I try to focus on all the good things in my life that I have planned, but then that voice in my head says " well you might not be able to do those things" and I'm back to feeling down.

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  • Jons_girl
    Jons_girl Member Posts: 696
    edited August 2019

    Ann I would go to where you had yr mammo or call yr drs office who referred you for the mammo. It may help you to have the report to read. Then you’d know why they have called you back djmammo reads reports here. He could tell you why they are having you return in 2 wks. I agree tho with the person who stated above if it was urgent they would more than likely have called you back right away for another mammo or ultrasound or Mri.

    Just my thoughts. Sending a hug yr way💐

    Jons gir

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  • AnxietyAnn58
    AnxietyAnn58 Member Posts: 22
    edited August 2019
    • Jons girl I try to keep that in mind too as the others said if it was urgent they would have me in right away. They actually said I could pick another day (this is my first day back to work) but I chose the earliest available appointment. When I had my biopsy they let me wait 2 months so that my husband could be home to go with me. I just can't bring myself to read the report. Right now, ignorance is bliss is my motto. I can't take the chance of hearing something that will make this week of waiting worse. I just so appreciate having you all respond to my worries.
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  • AnxietyAnn58
    AnxietyAnn58 Member Posts: 22
    edited August 2019

    I also want to add the last time I took my mammogram I was 204 lbs. I went down to 163, but my friends told me I looked too thin, so I am 180 now The lady who took my mammogram asked me did I lose weight. I said yes and she said "because these are not the same breasts. If she only knew how nervous that made me, but I just went on with the mammogram and didn't ask questions.

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  • Chemistry91
    Chemistry91 Member Posts: 32
    edited August 2019

    I can understand how you feel. I also have anxiety issues from doctors looking at my mammogram, doing an ultrasound, having biopsies and still not knowing what is going on.

    I now go to a breast center and see a breast doctor. I now before I walk out the door what my results are and if additional views/tests are needed they are performed while I am there. I would suggest moving your care to a different facility. The waiting and wondering is torture.


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  • djmammo
    djmammo Member Posts: 2,939
    edited August 2019

    AnxietyAnn58

    RE: weight loss

    This is a common occurrence. The breast is made up of glandular tissue, supporting tissue (both white) and fat (which is black on a mammogram). The amount of fat present interspersed throughout the other tissues determines the density of your breasts.

    If there is marked weight loss between mammograms, the post weight loss images will show a smaller denser breast. There will be the same volume of dense tissue present but it will appear denser as it wont be separated/spread out by the intervening fat.

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  • lyzzysmom
    lyzzysmom Member Posts: 654
    edited August 2019

    I get a call back every year. It may be a little different for me as I have a prior Dx but I just ask if they can read it before I leave as I always get called back. They do it for me and take extra pictures and sometimes an ultrasound before I leave the office. Perhaps you could mention beforehand that this causes extreme anxiety/PTSD and ask for results before you leave or find a place that would do that for you.

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  • AnxietyAnn58
    AnxietyAnn58 Member Posts: 22
    edited August 2019

    Yesterday my annual well woman exam was rescheduled because he was delivering a baby. I happily rescheduled even though I was hoping just to talk with him about some things. Then they allowed me to reschedule my follow up for my mammogram callback. It's the same day as my first day back to work and I thought we would work our regular hours but we have classes also and l can not take off early. Luckily my mind must be in some self preservation mode. I am so burned out from being stressed out. Two more weeks of torture 😢.

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  • AnxietyAnn58
    AnxietyAnn58 Member Posts: 22
    edited September 2019

    I had my follow up appointments today. The diagnostic mammogram and the ultrasound. I am happy to say that all is good. They will see me next year.🙂 He said a lot of other stuff, but I can't remember. I will finally read my report. All the best to everyone, and once again I thank everyone for responding to my post, and I would not have made it without this website. Thank you so much.


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