Deanna

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exbrnxgrl
exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
edited December 2019 in Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY

My hand is shaking as I type this. I just read a Facebook post from Sam, Deanna's husband. She passed away on July 3. I have no words. The shock never diminishes. Her username was dlb823

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  • Faith123
    Faith123 Member Posts: 41
    edited July 2019

    I’m new on the boards and when I was still finding my way around,I saw a lot of posts from Deanna helping out other BCO members and answering questions.

    I’m in shock,it’s amazing how things just happen so fast.

    This is extremely sad


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  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited July 2019

    Caryn, it’s terrible news that I’m so sorry to learn about. Deanna meant to much to so many of us on the boards. Would her husband have happened to post an obituary for her, and if so, could you provide a link?( I hope it doesn’t sound too odd, but I draw comfort from reading the obits of women on this forum as often I learn more about them and what their lives were like.) May our dear “d l b” rest in peace. Deepest condolences to her family and loved ones.


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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited July 2019

    Camille,

    I checked her FB page and don’t see any further info. I am really quite distraught. I knew she was in the hospital and struggling with fluid on her lungs and some sort of infection. Will let you know if I find any more info.

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited July 2019

    Bump

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  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited July 2019

    I posted in the In Memoriam thread, but I will post here again to offer my heartfelt condolences to Deanna's family.

    Deanna has been such a presence on this site for so many years, and such a valuable member of the BCO communiy. When I read the In Memoriam post, I just couldn't believe it. And I didn't want to believe it. Deanna's passing is a devastating loss of a wonderful woman.


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  • Micmel
    Micmel Member Posts: 9,450
    edited July 2019

    When I first started posting here, I believe she and I crossed paths on the bone Mets or

    Ibrance thread. Immediately could feel her welcome spirit. I feel like someone punched me in the gut. She always had a smile to lend and a word of encouragement, even if she herself wasn't feeling too great. She also loved fellow sisters good news. May she feel no more pain, may she be with whom she has that has gone before her. I am so sorry about her sweet family. There truly are. No words. Just understanding holes of where they used to be. Rest In Peace special beautiful lady.

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  • LuAnnH
    LuAnnH Member Posts: 8,847
    edited July 2019

    so sorry to hear of this loss I will say a prayer for her.

    LuAnn

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  • pajim
    pajim Member Posts: 2,785
    edited July 2019

    I'm going to write my initial reaction. . ."SAY WHAT!!!!????!!!" Oh, no! Deanna was a great help to everyone. I'll miss her enormously.

    Peace be unto her and to her family.

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  • Shutterbug73
    Shutterbug73 Member Posts: 791
    edited July 2019

    I'm so sad to hear about Deanna. I haven't been on these boards much, but I remember Deanna fondly from years ago when I was more active. When I read about her passing on Facebook I was shocked, and had to come here and make sure it was really the woman I remembered as dlb.

    Divine, I too often search for obits of the women I have gotten to know best over the years. I have developed a ritual of adding their names and a few facts about them in a book that I keep by my bed.

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  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 5,088
    edited July 2019

    I am so sad to hear about Deanna's passing.

    I did not interact with her personally but when I was looking for information relating to me or just reading other's posts, she was always there with advice and information. She will definitely be missed on these boards. I am sorry for her friends and family here on the site and in real life as well.

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  • ABeautifulSunset
    ABeautifulSunset Member Posts: 990
    edited July 2019

    Deanna sent me balm, free of charge, when I was having HFSon Xeloda. She always seemed so strong. Things can change quickly. I'm very sad today. May her memory be a blessing to all who know her.

    Sunset

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  • vampeyes
    vampeyes Member Posts: 1,227
    edited July 2019

    Just want to express my condolences to friends and family of Deanna's. I spoke to her a few times on the boards and in private messages and she always seemed like a wonderful, kind, caring woman. I am truly saddened that she has passed away. It's always the good ones that are taken from us to soon!

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  • ShetlandPony
    ShetlandPony Member Posts: 4,924
    edited July 2019

    Deanna was such a nice lady, eager to help others. I hate you, cancer. My condolences to Deanna’s husband, family, and friends.

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  • Heidihill
    Heidihill Member Posts: 5,476
    edited July 2019

    So sad to hear this. May she rest in peace. She helped so many here.

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  • SandiBeach57
    SandiBeach57 Member Posts: 1,617
    edited July 2019

    When Deanna posted, it was to help and encourage. She rarely discussed herself.

    That is why I feel I let her down when it was her turn to be comforted.

    Maybe she just didn't have time to let us know or maybe she didn't want us to worry.

    Peace to you my BCO friend.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2019

    I did not know Deanna but she sounds like a great lady and I see the many helpful posts she contributed here. She left a wonderful legacy. So sorry to hear of her passing, condolences to her friends and family.

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  • jobur
    jobur Member Posts: 726
    edited July 2019

    When I first found this forum back in 2014 and finally got up the nerve to post, Deanna was the first person to reach out and welcome me. I suspect there are many here who were also first welcomed by dlb823.She was and is a kind, gracious and generous spirit, may she fly free. My deepest sympathy to her husband and family on the loss of this very special woman.

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  • jensgotthis
    jensgotthis Member Posts: 937
    edited July 2019

    Caryn, I saw that too and shared on the Bone Mets thread and I'm so glad you started one just for Deanna. I'm wondering if it was that infection they were dealing with. Despite the recent struggles and hospitalizations, this was such a shock. Deanna was the most lovely, encouraging, helpful member - that she regularly monitored and answered the Not Diagnosed Stage 4 But Have Questions thread is a testament to her.

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited July 2019

    Jen,

    I agree with you about the shock. I still can’t quite believe she’s gone.

    I have been checking her FB page, and her husbands, but haven’t seen any funeral or memorial announcements.

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  • BarbaraA
    BarbaraA Member Posts: 7,378
    edited July 2019

    I was friends with her on a Facebook group and she was suffering from ascites near the end. She helped me so much when I was originally dx. After I became metastatic in 2014, I joined a FB group and we reconnected. Fly high sweet Deanna

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited July 2019

    We are heartbroken, and extremely grateful from all the amazing contributions dlb823 made to our site. She was an incredibly insightful, kind, and supportive member here. RIP, dlb823 (Deanna).

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited July 2019

    Sam, Deanna’s husband, posted this yesterday on FB:

    Deanna Lynn Baldwin passed away July 3rd, 2019 at her home in Bermuda Dunes, California.

    She was born in Danbury, Connecticut on August 23rd, 1944 to Ruth and Elias Richmond, and grew up in Pawling, New York. She graduated from Pawling High School in 1962, and she attended Skidmore College to study Art and French. After college she began work in the publishing industry with Ski Magazine. Her work and passion for adventure lead her to travel and live many places around the globe before moving to several ski towns in Colorado. While living in Vail, Colorado, she met Samuel Curt Baldwin and they were married November 8th, 1980. Their only child Clayton Baldwin was born in Colorado Springs, Colorado in 1982. Deanna and her family moved to the Coachella Valley in Southern California in the late 80s, where she worked for several companies in the marketing industry.

    On top of a successful career she always found time to give back and be a part of many charity causes close to her heart. No matter how busy she was with her own work and passions, her top priority was always to her family and being involved in anything Sam and Clayton were a part of. Her incredible passion and love of art, photography, her family, and her dog Teek was evident immediately to anyone that ever met her. After being diagnosed with breast cancer, and years later with metastatic breast cancer, she became an advocate for all women going through breast cancer, and devoted a majority of her time to support these women in any and all ways she could.

    She is survived by her husband Samuel Baldwin, her son Clayton Baldwin, her sister Francis Laurie and husband George, her brother Nathaniel Richmond and wife Anne. She is also survived by her in-laws Bill Baldwin and his wife Bonnie, Larry Baldwin and his wife Lynne, Joyce Holtzclaw and her husband Mark, Clark Baldwin and his wife Shiloy, Lucille Tietz, Ted Baldwin and Kristy, as well as many nieces and nephews.

    A celebration of life will be held on August 10th in Palm Desert, California. Please RSVP to CaliforniaBaldwins@gmail.com for location and details on the celebration.

    In lieu of flowers the family asks that donations please be made to BreastCancer.org and/or Stand Up To Cancer.

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  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited July 2019

    Caryn, thanks for sharing the obituary that Deanna's husband provided. It sounds like she lived a full life surrounded by love and her passions. And all that despite dealing with bc/mbc for many years. I'm so sad for her passing. May she rest in peace.


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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited July 2019

    You’re very welcome, Mrs. M. I have been struggling to come to terms with Deanna’s death. I fully understand that once we hit stage IV, even if we are doing well, things can change in an instant. However it’s been much more difficult to deal with emotionally, mainly because Deanna did so much, complementary and alternative prior to her stage IV dx and then conventional and complementary after stage a IV dx. She put so much effort into wellness. Logically I know that bc doesn’t care what you do, but emotionally, I feel like her efforts should have counted for more. I think part of it is survivors guilt, which has really been getting to me lately.

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  • Andi67
    Andi67 Member Posts: 423
    edited July 2019

    I have also been struggling with Deanna's passing; more so than anyone else I have connected with. I was also in her FB groups, one of which she moderated... maybe even two? She was a constant presence with her contributions, support, advice and love. When I read the news from her husband (on the 4th of July) I literally burst into tears. We would often check in with each other via Facebook IM, and I had just messaged her the day before to find out how she was.... I was absolutely shocked. I am sad and scared, as it does seem, like others have mentioned, that things can seriously go south very quickly. Every day is a gift.

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  • JFL
    JFL Member Posts: 1,947
    edited July 2019

    I was out of the country when this was originally posted and missed it. I am totally surprised and caught off guard. I remember so many of dlb's posts when I first joined BCO, we must have been on Ibrance at the same time. She was very active then on BCO and such a kind, helpful, informative person. I really thought she was doing well, overall. Things really can change quickly. Thanks for sharing the obit. Lovely to read more about her and her life! Sad to learn that she is gone.

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  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited July 2019

    One reason I appreciate the stage iv section of this forum is that we honor those who pass from the disease by remembering them, remembering their contributions and odd as it sounds, by grieving their passing. Deanna and all the others didn’t die in isolation. The grieving says they mattered to us, these internet-born relationships.

    Caryn, please, please do not waste one more precious minute of your life feeling survivor’s guilt. Do you know that your stability with this disease is a huge inspiration to all of us on the stage iv section? Please know that it is. Your longevity with mbc helps more people than you may realize. I’m 8+ years and do not feel a shred of guilt. I want all the years I can possibly get.

    Living a long time with mbc doesn’t mean it pushes someone else out from living with it a long time. As I’ve said before, the deity in the sky doesn’t have some daily quota of souls to send to heaven where slot #1,000 is between you and someone else and that someone else got picked instead of you.


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  • Micmel
    Micmel Member Posts: 9,450
    edited July 2019

    well said Divine..... stage four is a clan of fighters knowing that at anytime we may be the one stepping into the line of the terrorist cancers fire. One by one we are knocked off. So yes life is a daily gift. I am so angry at cancer. It took beautiful people (Deanna) and I am waiting any day to hear of my. Sweet friend. Gracie as well, and have come to learn Blane Jennifer, and Parry have all not checked in. I am also daily scared. My message to-us all is;;;;

    image

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  • Bliss58
    Bliss58 Member Posts: 1,154
    edited August 2019

    Thank you Caryn for starting a special thread for Deanna and posting the obit from her husband. I too am struggling with her loss and how quickly life can change with this damn MBC. I appreciate knowing more about her family and a life well-lived although cut way too short. Deanna and you both have been an inspiration to me over the last four years helping me to be strong and have faith in the future. No one knows what tomorrow holds, but we honor Deanna now for all she did for this BC community. She will be greatly missed. My condolences to her family and all who loved her.

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  • NineTwelve
    NineTwelve Member Posts: 569
    edited August 2019

    Just now logging in, to see this. Like others, when I first joined in 2014, I was welcomed by Deanna. She was a wonderful, warm and kind voice on these forums. I will miss her.

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