Positive Girls Club

Well, my positive is a day late but not a dollar short. Our finances are not as good as they should be , as a matter of fact, they suck. So where I can get samples for dh I do. His drug bills are astomnomical even if he does get generics. So, I have gotten to be quite friendly with one of the girls from his GI docs office. He takes Prevacid and it is not on our formulary and would be prohibitive to pay for. So she cages me samples whenever she can. When I picked them up, we got to talking. For those that know me, this comes about quite often, LOL. Anyway, I was telling her how I had just finished a mystery shop and apologized for being late to pick up the meds. She asked about it 'casue Lord knows, in this economy every one needs a little extra. So we traded email addys and I sent her info to get started. The talk went on (surprised?) and it turns out she used the same ps for her "boob job" (as she called it) that I am using for my PBM in April. She gave him glowing reviews and made me feel so much better.

Like my mohter has always said, you get back what you put out 1000 times, be it good or bad. I guess I am getting the good back lately.

Wow, happy to find the Positive Girls Club! Dx 12/19/06 after first scare (bad mammo) day before Thanksgiving. Had lumpectomy and Sentinol Node Biopsy 1/11/07. Stage 1, grade 1, no lymph node involvement, start rads on 2/26, than Tamoxifen. Have been feeling good and staying positive and grateful about prognosis even though this bc sucks. Family and friends taking it harder than me I thought until yesterday had my first breakdown. My dh having some trouble dealing and I am feeling guilty like I am doing this to him. Hoping he rallies and we can find the good in this thing. Told him I didn't think it was a good idea for him to go to any treatments with me, he went for rads set up and had that deer in the headlights look. I'm thinking maybe if he doesn't go, he won't see me as cancer girl. Any thoughts?? I just want to move on and enjoy life, I can handle the pity looks out in the world but at home it hurts. Sorry to be a sad sack, positive most of time. Good luck to all, Ify

Renee,
You are such an inspiration! I'd like to get more active in advocacy, too, and just started looking around New York for some groups to join. Somehow, when I'm focusing on the ISSUE of breast cancer, I'm not thinking so much about my PERSONAL cancer. Does that make sense?
Thanks for motivating me to get more involved,
Sara

Hi Ify, I thought I had replied to this earlier, but it looks like I didn't! My husband is a very reserved guy, and this has been especially hard for him, since he doesn't want to say or do anything to put extra strain on me. I encouraged him to read the boyfriends and husbands thread on this website (which I think he's been doing, though he doesn't post), and his two older brothers have been great about calling to check in on him. I think that until we really get into our routine (chemo, rads), he's going to struggle. He's the kind of guy who likes to take care of things, solve problems, and so on, and this is something he just can't solve. I think a lot of men have similar problems, and that look your husband gives you probably isn't pity - it's fear. Does he have a close relative he could confide in (that is easier for my dh than talking to a "friend" about something this personal). And I second the book idea, though my dh wouldn't read it himself (he's not a self-help reader or group joiner, sigh!). Maybe if you read it, though, there would be some tips you could gently pass on or incorporate? Good luck, I know the two of you will find your way together through this process.

Renee - go you! I'll add to Jule's post that you are such a wonderful and inspiring person to have here. You give me such inspiration!

And another positive, even though it's not Friday - I CAN SHOWER! I had my surgery on Thursday and couldn't shower until Sunday and I hate sponge baths so what bliss it was to be able to shower with my favorite LUSH soap! And I can drive, too - was able to tootle on out to visit the 'rents on Sunday. I feel back to almost normal.

Thank you for the good thoughts.

Surgery went well. The cancer was twice the size they thought. Nodes were clean. Now the wait, wait, wait, wait for pathology.

I was, however, a less than stellar patient. I was combative in surgery and got up to leave recovery before I was awake. Bad, bad me. I have really been fighting this whole process. And now I have the mediport to irritate me. oh, well.

Now a story. My girlfriends and I wore tiaras to the hospital and handed out suckers to everybody. Our first stop was radiology to have the isotopes join the parade. We sat down and a mom and her son came in. My name was called, I got up and handed the mom and son a sucker. After I was gone, my girlfriend told me the son asked to throw away his sucker. His mom told him if he threw it away, he wouldn't have a sucker anymore. He said it was okay. He knew the queen would give him another when she came back.

After surgery one of my girlfriends took me home and made me queen for the weekend. Being waited on, not even asking for something and it would appear. What a luxurious life. That is why no update for a couple days.

And now that I have my dogs back home, life is seeming a little more normal. But we all know normal is just a setting on the dryer.

And I will be wearing the tiara to all bc functions I will be attending. There were so many people that had smiles when they got suckers. It made the whole hospital thing a bit less stressful. So, my positive thoughts for last week are - tiaras and suckers for everyone!

charlie

This will only make us stronger!

Hi Jule,
Thanks for the welcome, feeling better today. Days 1 and 2 on radiation went well, they tell me there is not really a good rads garment and not to wear a bra so here goes. DH is trying really hard after a big heart felt discussion so that front seems very hopeful. Thanks again for this place to come and share and vent when needed. Amazing to feel all the positive energy from so many women. Happy week to all. Ify

Fireba,
Thanks for the positive input. I will definately get a copy of the book for dh, who seems better this week. I don't think he is talking with any of his friends about this, he just managed to tell his dad this weekend. Hasn't gotten up the whatever it takes to talk with his brother about it, he lost his wife to bc about 10 years ago. We'll get throught this and if everything I have been hearing and reading is true (about finding the hidden gifts in all this chaos)hopefully we will come out stronger and more commited than ever. Thanks again and wish you a happy week, Ify

1stlite, I love the tiaras and suckers!!! What a wonderful way to get thru the experience with lots of giggles and smiles.
Sure way to chase away the fear!

Charlie -- What a wonderful way to deal with BC! Wish I had the guts to pull it off ...