Just diagnosed, waiting for surgeon appt

two weeks ago I got the pathology, IDC grade 2. Hormone receptive her2 negative. I have I had to wait almost three weeks before I could get a surgeon appointment due to my insurance. I am going to the University Maryland Medical Center breast center. The contract with my insurance doesn't go live until June 10th and I now have an appointment for June 11th with one of their breasts surgeons.

Needless to say I'm scared to death, I have family around me but nobody will talk about it with me. It just seems like they feel it's going to be a quick and easy fix. I've been through cancer with my own mother who passed away at 59, I am 47. My mother's cancer started in her colon. I've never dealt with breast cancer and the fear.... it's undescribable. Guess What Hurts the Most is everybody's making it like it's going to be no big deal.

thank you very much. Actually I'm the one that's down playing it for my family. My kids have been through enough cancer so I've been downplaying my own. So partially this is my fault and I know that I just wish I had somebody to talk to. I'm not a support group type of person.

I know that in order for people to talk to me about it I have to talk with them. And I have tried to talk with my children even though I'm down playing it, they just don't want to talk about it. One of my girls is in denial and the other one she understands but she just doesn't want to talk about it and I understand both of their reactions because I've been in their shoes. I just don't know how to be the patient this time, I have always been the caregiver in the situation. My oldest is away at college and knows but isn't here for the day to day, even his calls to me of slowed down. I guess everybody processes in their own way and I don't know how to process this for myself.

It sounds like you went through this with your mother, although you were a bit older than your kids were. I was college age when my mother was diagnosed. It can be very hard. At that age, your kids are still figuring out how to see you as a human being and not as an all-powerful force of nature. I think they are probably not a great source of support for you for this, no matter how close you are with them for other things. They still need you to be mom.

Do you have friends closer to your own age that could be a support for you? (You didn't mention a spouse, so I'm assuming you'e single and/or he or she is not a good source of emotional support for whatever reason.) If not, it really might be worth trying a support group even if you don't think of yourself as a support group person. This is hard to go through alone. If you're involved with some kind of hobby, even with people you don't think of as good friends, but that might be a good place to open up. I bet you'll be surprised by how many people have been in similar situations and will be much better at being there to listen than you might expect.

And of course, these boards are great resource and source of support.

i dont know nothing about this ugly disease. But i will be more than happy to chat when you need to..my mom was just diagnosed friday with stage 4 breast cancer