Pregnant with ILC

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et1977
et1977 Member Posts: 9
edited June 2019 in Just Diagnosed

I am newly diagnosed with breast cancer. It's ILC, about 4 cm, and I have the option of oncoplasty or mastectomy. They do not think it's spread to the lymph nodes. I also just found out I am pregnant. I have some added complications to my procedure scheduled for next week, having to do with timing for my daughter, which will result in me needing to travel 2 to 3 weeks after my surgery. I was so overwhelmed by my BC diagnosis and this week, leading up to my procedure, I realized my period was late. It turns out I am pregnant. I don't think I can handle breast cancer and being pregnant at the same time. Prior to finding out I was pregnant, I was ready to do the oncoplasty and return after my trip with my daughter for radiation. The radiation is no longer an option if I want to keep the baby. The doctor recommended a mastectomy, as I wouldn't need radiation after my trip, but it would also require me throwing my daughter's life upside down in the next month and change her summer altogether--and I don't know if this pregnancy is viable to begin with as I have been through MRIs and multiple mammograms and ultrasounds in the last month, not to mention the dye that was injected into me. I'm terrified and heartbroken. I have wanted another child for so long, but I do not think I can risk the mastectomy and affecting my daughter's life for a pregnancy I am afraid of. I am currently 5-6 weeks, and miscarried before my daughter was born. Is there anyone out there who has any advice or has been down a similar path? Wishing the best for us all.

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  • Ingerp
    Ingerp Member Posts: 2,624
    edited May 2019

    I hope others will chime in. For now sending you gentle hugs.

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  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited May 2019

    Go with your instinct, don't let others influence your decision. I was 53 postmenopausal and went for the mastectomy. My health before was excellent, I recovered from mastectomy very quickly really didn't take pain medication other than tylenol. My cancer surgery and reconstruction DIEP was a piece of cake pain and recovery wise. I wasn't doing much of anything for a month just recovering. Afterwards back to exercise and swimming same activity level as before. To me emotional pain was 95% of my pain. Physically all was fine.

    At first I was disappointed lumpectomy and radiation was not an option but glad I didn't go through radiation.

    Your situation is very different do what you think.

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  • Mavericksmom
    Mavericksmom Member Posts: 635
    edited May 2019

    (((hugs))). Have you consulted an obstetrician? I would consult an obstetrician, get the facts and sit down with whoever is close to you, husband etc. I would not tell anyone who doesn’t have to know, family and friends. Like Meow13 said you need to do what is right for you. Once you decide, then tell whoever you want, but you will hopefully get great advice from women here. I’m sure someone here had a similar situation

    Keeping you in my prayers

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  • santabarbarian
    santabarbarian Member Posts: 3,085
    edited May 2019

    I do not know if this is relevant but it may matter what the hormones of pregnancy do to your tumor...? Another question to ask.. I am sorry you find yourself in such a heartbreaking situation.

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  • Mavericksmom
    Mavericksmom Member Posts: 635
    edited May 2019

    Just bumping your post up so hopefully someone who can help you sees this

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  • et1977
    et1977 Member Posts: 9
    edited May 2019

    Thank you so much. I have been searching and googling in hopes of finding anyone who has been in a similar situation. I've read about others who were pregnant, then diagnosed with BC. I think if it has been that way for me, I wouldn't feel so cursed. Instead, I went from initial relief and gratitude that my doctors were optimistic that it was early, slow growing, and hopefully not in my lymph nodes, to feeling like my future, my daughter's future, my family's future has been thrown upside-down. I feel like no matter what happens now, there will be an emotional toll of what ifs and sadness.

    I know there isn't going to be an easy answer for me, and I'm hoping I might find someone here who has gone down this path or similar to shed light on what my future may hold. Either way, it means a lot to me knowing there are so many others out there fighting this and supporting each other. I feel alone in a way, but I know I'm not alone in this battle for my health. Thank you.

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  • mom2bunky
    mom2bunky Member Posts: 189
    edited May 2019

    sending you the most fervent ((((hug))))

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  • Michelle_in_cornland
    Michelle_in_cornland Member Posts: 1,689
    edited May 2019

    You have alot on your plate and will know what the right decision is when the time comes. Your health and your well being should be the priority. Whatever you need to do to get there, you will do.

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  • Mavericksmom
    Mavericksmom Member Posts: 635
    edited May 2019

    I feel so bad for sadandscaredmom that once again I am bumping her post to the top in hope that someone on this board who had a similar situation could offer her information. She can’t be the only one this has happened to.

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  • et1977
    et1977 Member Posts: 9
    edited June 2019

    I just wanted to update this post, as it really meant a lot to hear from some of you.

    I ended up miscarrying after my surgery. I had a miscarriage once before I became pregnant with my daughter and it was one of the saddest experiences of my life. This time though, it almost felt like a blessing in disguise. Prior to finding out I was pregnant, I had felt like I could handle my diagnosis, that I would be able to get through this in one piece, mentally and physically, and keep it together for my daughter. And the pregnancy impacted me in ways where I could feel my mental stability falling apart. I didn't know if I had it in me to fight the breast cancer and be pregnant at the same time, so in a way, I was relieved to have had the decision made for me.

    I am still recovering from my oncoplasty and watching my body complete the process of miscarrying. It's a strange state I'm in these days, but am hoping for good news, or at least no surprises at my follow-ups with my BS, PS, and oncologist this week.

    Thinking of everyone here and sending hugs back to everyone.

    Thank you again for wanting to help me. It was hard feeling so alone, but reading each of these messages, even the bumps, made me feel better.

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  • dtad
    dtad Member Posts: 2,323
    edited June 2019

    I'm so so sorry. Its just does not seem fair. My daughter had a miscarriage and honestly I never knew how devastating it is until then. You must have such mixed feelings. As hard as it is at least you can concentrate on your health and make decisions that are best to treat the breast cancer. Give yourself time to grieve. You are not alone. We are all here for you. Please let us know if you have any questions or we can help in any way. Good luck and keep us posted.

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  • alto
    alto Member Posts: 233
    edited June 2019

    I'm sorry, et1977. I hope life brings you lots of kindness in the days ahead.

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  • mom2bunky
    mom2bunky Member Posts: 189
    edited June 2019

    I am so very sorry for your loss et1977, and I'm sending you a hug. I'll be thinking of you and ending positive vibes your way for no more surprises and the best possible pathology results.

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