thread for middle age to older Christian women.
Comments
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Thank you Joanne for the beautiful and meaningful lyrics and banners. Praying this spot will go away as I know that is a source of terrible concern. Praying your cousin who was dx with bc can be more relaxed when she knows what her treatment plan is. Praying for your loss of another cousin.
Krista, how is your back doing?
Varga, how are you feeling now? I sure hope you can regain your strength and going through such an awful time.
Chris, any back pain improvement?
Hershey, thank you. I had a very good session with the therapist today. She thinks once I stop my AI at the end of July I will probably feel much better. I finally came right out and said what is wrong with me. I was afraid to ask but needed to know. She said the medical term would be reactive depression. When I researched this i was actually encouraged that it may not be as long term as I was bracing for. How are you doing?
Have a good evening dear sisters.
Love,
Nancy
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Joanne- the banner was just what I needed!
Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement! I dont have the brain function right now to say everything I want to. I'm sure you all understand unfortunately how I am feeling.
DD came through surgery ok. She is in quite a but of pain and they will probably keep her one more night. I was able to keep the toddler a few hours yesterday so her DH could rest before the 4 y/o got home from preschool. I was able to spend a few hours with my FIL and MIL yesterday. FIL isn't ready to let go yet. He's an amazing man. This all shall pass and there will be great joy in the morning. I have always loved the feeling of peace and joy in the early morning hours.
Prayers for all!
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I posted a long heartfelt post yesterday and it has disappeared. Must not have meant to be there I guess.
Nancy, when I was on aromatase inhibitors (x3!) I mentally fell apart and just barely hung on spiritually. I was honest with my onc. and he recognized the quality of my life suffered greatly and he let me go off of it. Since then I have made a complete come back and praise the Lord for getting me through the darkest time of my life. You might, since you are so close to finishing anyway, talk with your onc. about discontinuing now. I would think that perhaps 2 months early after 5 years may not make that much difference, and it may not be worth continued suffering. Just a thought. Anyway we all continue lifting you up to the Lord.
Varga, I pray your well being and strength return quickly and the Lord will bring peace and healing for your loved ones' situations too.
Joanne, as always, your posts are so right on and minister to all of us. PEACE LIKE A RIVER/IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL has been going through my mind as well.
Thank you Christ for prayers & post on the 29th!
Blessings upon your day, dear sisters,
Ade
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Vargadoll, glad you are better and good to hear your DD came through her surgery okay and that you felt well enough to help out.
This song has meant alot to me over the years and was especially helpful to me when my Dad died. It still ministers to me in all situations.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yfwlj0gba_
Love
Nancy
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My MO REFUSES to put me on AI's / Hormonals, even tho my tumor load (mets in brain,bones, organs) might be ok accepting that Tx, but she says they are a hellish nightmare for a lot of women, and she really doesn't want to subject to that.
Sometimes the stomach issues and bone pain get worse, and I certainly don't need that at this stage of the game.
L
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I agree, Jo. When I was first Dx'd they had me on the lowest dose of a common opioid pain med for only a few weeks, and I had to go iff cuz it jacked my liver and kidneys.
Dr told me to just go off cold turkey. It was awful. Had the shakes and couldn't sleep for days; thank God I wasn't on the more hard-core stuff for a longer period of time - I would have been even more miserable.
L
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Lita, it is good to hear from you. I have been meaning to shout out to you since we haven't heard from you in a while. Yes, I can certainly imagine that you don't need anymore SE's at this point. How ARE you doing?
Ade, I know you had an awful time on the AI and was better when you got off. My social worker who works with oncology patients is very upfront about the negatives of these drugs. When I said I was counting down the months she said you and all of Chicagoland. I saw a new PA in oncology last week and you can ONLY imagine my feelings when she wanted me to go two months LONGER on my AI which I have been planing on stopping at the end of July which will make five years. She said since you will have a six month mammo in Sept. ...........................I was trying to be as tackful as I could but she definitely got the hint that I was stopping at the end of July OR finding a very tall building!!!!!!!!!!!!! My sick sense of humor. I am kidding when I say that. She thought I was fearful of recurrence. Well, of course.............anyone in our shoes is but I said what difference is going two more months going to make. I said doesn't this stay in your system and still work for years and she said yes otherwise we would have everyone on them from 10 yrs. So I am planning on stopping at the end of July. I have toughed it out this long. I asked her how long would the SE's wear off and she said three months. Things can change and if I don't snap out of this who knows what decisions I might make that I don't think I would entertain now. Now it is more like a stubborn "I am going to finish this race if it kills me attitude." I know many in my shoes would just stop it right now. I threw that out to the social worker but then I told her I was in it to finish.
Joanne, I know you are so sensitive to drugs and you know I am too. I had not considered withdrawal. Now maybe I will look for that tall building. Actually I will be going to visit my Mom around that time. I am leaving for three weeks to visit my Mom and will see the social worker next week before I leave on Thursday. I really need your prayers for strength. I have some tough things to deal with while there and I am concerned.
My vit D levels are VERY high only because I see an alt doctor and he wants them higher than traditional docs want so I take alot of the supplement.
Well I need to make a run to the store. Have a good weekend dear sisters. Thanks for your input on the AI. I know it has made my life very difficult now especially. My social worker has said quite a few times yesterday that I will feel much better after I go off of it. I don't think she would ever come out and say you need to stop now because that is not her place to say even though she is probably thinking it.
Love,
Nancy
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Joanne, it was my new PA in oncology that told me the three months for SE's to go away. It wasn't the social worker. However the social worker told me from the beginning that most of the cancer patients she sees is after the first year of treatment and beyond. I guess that should tell you something right there. If I think of it when I see her on Tuesday I will ask her about the SE's after stopping and see if she has a point of reference for that. I imagine she does.
My RO came right out and told me initially that 30 some percent of women stop taking their AI and I asked her why. She said we don't know for sure. That tells me they just decided to stop on their own. I am sure we could all say the whys of stopping but she probably didn't have any clinical hard data is what she meant. I am sure she has heard it all and then some!
I truly am not worried about stopping it but since I am in this "state" that I am in (and I don't mean Illinois) I really can't predict how I am going to feel about anything at this point. By the time I get back from my Mom's I will only have two more months at that point. I can hardly believe it. Gee time flies when you are having fun.
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Some pics to make you smile.
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Hello my dear friends,
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted but I have been reading and praying for all your needs and enjoying your banners and scriptures. They have indeed spoken to me in these last weeks and months.
First of all, thank you for all your prayers for my friend Sue. I’m happy to say she is on the road to recovery and feeling a little better each day. Some of her restrictions on food and visitors has been lifted and that is lifting her spirits. She is getting back to her old happy self while waiting for her hair to grow. This has been a long and scary journey for her and I’m sure all your prayers have helped and I’m so grateful for all of you here that we can turn to in time of need.
That’s what I’m doing now. I need your prayers. This recent discussion on the side effects of AI’s has really hit home for me. I’m sure I’m going through all the things that have been mentioned. My anxiety is awful causing my BP to go up and I know I have some depression along with all the aches and pains that go along with these drugs. I think I have every side effect that is listed in the literature and more. Since I’m considered stage 4, I can’t really look forward to going off the letrozole since that’s the only med keeping my cancer stable. If or when my cancer progresses, then I’ll be on a different drug, probably causing it’s own set of problems. So, please pray that I can have the strength to get through whatever God has planned for me. I will see my MO in a couple of weeks and have blood work then, maybe he will have an answer for me.
I know so many of you have physical as well as financial and emotional things going on and please know, I am praying for all of you.
Love and prayers and thanks,
Faith (in the future)
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Faith, thank you for the update on Sue. I am glad to hear she is improving. I will pray for your ses and anxiety. It sounds like I am in about the same place as you are with lots of ses. Right now I am sitting with a heating pad to help keep the pain in my back and shoulders minimized, and find I also have a lower threshold for extra noise and stress than just a few weeks ago. My onc won't see me until after my next scan planned on the 16th so I am a little depressed that there is little hope for relief until then. As you can tell, my anxiety has picked up. I am not usually a complainer and it takes a lot for me to even say something, so I "get it!" I too am stage IV and that adds a whole other dimension to our posts. But I know my Redeemer lives and walks with me every step of the way.
Prayers and blessings, Chris
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Nancy those pix are timely and appreciated since so many are going through so much.
I think the saying that 'misery loves company' is valid here as we know that others have gone through or are presently going through what we ourselves suffer and they understand and empathize with our own pain and suffering. Yet we also truly have the comfort of knowing our compassionate Heavenly Father who understands us even more - and we are lifting one another up to Him. I can't make the suffering stop but I can lift you all up to our Almighty God who can.
I thank the Lord that Sue is making a recovery! May the Lord continue her progress to His glory.
Chris, Lita, Joanne, Nancy, Faith, and ALL, may the Lord grant you physical and mental comfort and calmness knowing you're in the hands of the Great Physician.
I was on three aromatase inhibitors - Letrozol, Aromasin & Exemestane, then Tamoxifen and they all did the same awful things to me. I (barely) managed 18 months out of 5 years. I know well that I have increased the risk of reoccurance - but I just couldn't live like that anymore - and I mean that quite literally! I noticed positive changes in my thoughts and emotions very soon after discontinuing them. The extreme achiness of bones & joints took longer but it's better, and I still have very bad fatigue and huge weight gain that won't come off no matter what (which is VERY depressing in itself!). Physically I feel awful most days but sometimes I get a 'feel actually GOOD day' and I am a house on fire getting things done while I can. Mentally I now CAN cope with the physical, where before, I wasn't coping well with ANY of it. So I am thankful for what I have, knowing it CAN be worse. Had a really nice 68th birthday yesterday. My DH treats me like a queen - at least ONE day a year!
I think in this thread we can say, "I feel your pain"...and mean it!
Lifting you ALL up to the One who can make a difference. He knows where you are in this journey, He is with you, and He loves you dearly. Don't ever give up.
Ade
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Thank you Joanne ~*~ Beautiful!
Doesn't it help just knowing someone else understands? Like I tried to say above, that's one of the blessings of this thread, as the folks we love & deal with day by day just can't really understand. We don't feel so alone in this. If I relate my own struggles please do not think I am complaining. The Lord is so very worthy of our thanksgiving and praise no matter WHAT we are going through! But as we do share, others can feel not so alone and added prayers are ALWAYS welcome from those who really truly know what we deal with. (Don't know if I make any sense)
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Happy Birthday Ade. I guess you can celebrate the next day too!!!!!
I hope no one was offended by my pics but I felt like we had discussed some heavy stuff and needed to lighten things up a bit.
I am always very aware of saying too much about my AI because I know some of you may be on it for the rest of your lives and I hope you all know that we would never intentionally say things knowing it would hurt others. The beauty of this thread is that we can have a variety of ages, stages and married or not on here and still all get along pretty well.
I have felt very alone it my situation esp. living alone. Cammie does help but I can't discuss the pros and cons of my AI with her!
Faith, I have suspected that you have felt poorly because of your AI but I know when you have to take it then somehow you have to make the best of it. I know from the beginning there was a lots of talk that exercising helped alleviate some of the side effects and i definitely find my swimming allows those endorphins in my brain to help me feel better. That is why I am really afraid to be gone for three weeks because my swimming has been my natural drug and believe me it really does help. Can you walk enough to get in some good exercise. I know the weather sure does make that a challenge unless you are mall walking.
I have been fatigued my whole life as my fibro and chronic fatigue go hand in hand so I don't know how much of that is related to my AI.
It is nice to have this community who does understand. I know my friends just don't get it I am pretty sure. Many people think you can just make yourself snap out of it too. Actually when people see me I appear very normal but they have no idea what I have been going through.
Faith, I am encouraged hearing Sue is doing so well now. That is such a great answer to prayer and after her suffering through that ordeal so much this has to feel great.
Chris, I am sitting with a heating pad as well. I have already contacted my muscle therapist which I will have to pay out of pocket. I won't be able to get together with her until June as I will be leaving on Thursday for three weeks to visit my Mom. I don't know what my issues are either but I have a history of back and muscle problems which I know you are concerned with possible mets. I am praying that it will not be that.
I have a bad head cold and hope it will not go into anything else. I have been out of town today traipsing in the woods to get pics of Virginia Bluebells for my photo competition. Today was the only day I could get pics for the month of May part of the competition.
I need to sign off. I am glad we have our little community which helps to lift one another up. This is a very vital part of our bc journey and I am so grateful that we have BCO and this thread to be honest and open about our faith and that we are not afraid to share the bad stuff. Christians are not perfect but we are all works in progress.
Have a good evening dear sisters.
Love,
Nancy
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Thank you all for your responses, it's good to know we are not alone in having all these issues and the sharing helps. Like many of you I try not to share all the gory details with my DH or family, as they worry so much and there's not much they can do anyway.
A happy belated birthday Ade, I love all your banners and you are so gifted in your prayers. It's so true about having an occasional good day and then overdoing things. I told a good friend who is my age, once that I rarely felt good most days and she just didn't get it. It's the old, “walk a mile in my shoes".
Jo, thanks for the Claritin suggestion, I do already take it and maybe it helps more than I know, but others here may find this new info helpful. Yes, I think what you described as anxious/depression is what I must have. I guess I should take zanax more often but I hate to depend on that.
Chris, I'm so sorry you're having back pain now. I know how scary pain of any kind can be when we are dealing with cancer. I also understand about the noise bothering you. Sometimes I just have to turn everything off. I used to watch some of the morning talk shows but now, I can't take the constant chatter. I will pray that your back pain goes away before you even see your MO.
Nancy, don't ever worry about offending with your cute, funny banners. They are much needed sometimes as we all need more humor in our lives. I also think you shouldn't worry about sharing the details of your side effects of the AI. I don't believe it bothers any of us to hear about them since so many have similar things happening and it helps to know we are not alone. I'm so sorry you've had such a tough time dealing with so many issues after your last tests results and I've been praying that things get easier soon. I pray your trip to visit your mother will go well and that you'll be able to deal with all of the financial things as well as her health. It's no wonder you are feeling stressed with so many things to take care of without much help. You and all here are in my continued prayers.
Love, prayers and thanks to all for being here to listen,
Faith (in the future)
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I was putting on my support hose for my Fred Flintstone feet and lymphedema, and somehow I slipped off the bed because of slick sheets and fell on the floor.
Thank GOD DH and DD were there to help pull me back up. It could easily been one of those "I've fallen and I can't get up" situations. Please pray that I didn't seriously hurt my back. Won't know for a day or so cuz it usually takes that long for the soreness to set in. Wearing Salon Pas patches for now.
L
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Hi, Nancy - I'm new to this forum, but I'm so thankful for the blessings of your earlier turtle photos that came just as I was finishing the last of my radiation treatments. My family has several yellow sliders like those shown in your pictures & took it as a sign of many blessings to come. God's many blessings to you & thank you again for your great pictures that really spoke to me - J.
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Faith, thank you for your prayers and for your words being okay with the discussing the SE's of our AI's. I hope that this thread can always be a safe place for all Christians to come and share. That means the good and the bad stuff. I also know that there are probably more people reading this thread that we'll ever know and I hope that it can always point to Jesus as the answer to all of our challenges. I know things have been difficult for you and I definitely understand the SE's of our drugs. I am still dealing with friends who think I should just STOP the drug. One of my email friends I think finally got it. She said the teacher in you sets goals and this finishing my five years is like preparing for a band concert. You see it through to the end. Her husband is also a retired band director. She was one of the most vocal about me just quitting it now. I know that is not a choice for you and I feel badly about that but also thankful that you have been sustained by that pill only for quite some time now. I will continue to pray for you as i always do.
Lita, I am so sorry to hear about your fall. When I visited my Mom in February I was doing my back exercises on the bed and the sheets were so slippery I rolled right off the bed onto the floor. I sure hope that you recovered as I did. I am glad you had family to help you up. Praying you will not suffer any more from this.
Chris, praying you can hang in there until you see your MO after your scan. Praying for your back pain and depression.
FaithFilled, welcome and congratulations on finishing rads. I know that is a long haul and I imagine you are really glad to get that part of your journey behind you. Are you finished with all treatments now? I would never have thought that my turtle pics would have blessed someone but you never know how God uses things.I would have probably not posted them until Teka posted her toad pics. Please feel free to jump in any time. You probably have seen there is another Faith on this thread so we may have to figure out how to NOT get you both mixed up.
Joanne, I am not sure if I have ever tried Claritin in the past. Certainly not since I have been on my AI. I have not done well with those kind of drugs usually which as I type now reminds me I have to run to the drug store tonight and get more Coricidin for my cold. That I can tolerate.
It was a beautiful day here today and I am so thankful it was not raining or snowing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went out yesterday into this forest preserve out of town and got some Virginia Bluebell pics i will have to share later.
Have a good evening dear sisters.
Love,
Nancy
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Here are some pics from me traipsing in the woods yesterday for this photo contest. My only day to get pics in for May. It was muddy and thorny and uncomfortable but great therapy for me.
Have a good night.
Love,
Nancy
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I like the second photo the best, too.L
L
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Joanne, I am praying!!!!!!!
J and L thanks for your input. I am trying to decide which pics to submit to this contest.
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JO, I am praying for you.
Nancy, I agree on #2.
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Thank you Chris.
I have heard a preacher say we are either going through a trial or coming out of one. I really don't like to think of things like that but I do believe there is truth to that. Of course we would love for the coming out of a trial to be very long and the going through a trial to be short but God has a plan for each of us and as He is perfecting each of us from glory to glory we each have our own curriculum if you will. Some of us may have to retake part of the curriculum because we didn't learn what we needed to previously. God's ways are NOT easy but they are certainly better than any thing we could devise on our own. Lord, help us to completely surrender to YOUR will in our lives and let us all come to the point when we pray and desire things for ourselves and others that they are YOUR desires. That is a process that I am working on and I imagine it may take a whole lifetime to get there.
Love,
Nancy
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Add my vote for photo #2!
The SE discussion really hits home. Gosh, I look okay so I must be okay, right? Well, not exactly. Some days are good, and some are not. Friends and family mean well but don't "get it." I am very thankful for this thread; the support, understanding, and empathy mean so much to me.
Lita, I'm so sorry about the fall. Prayers that your back is uninjured.
Joanne, praying that the spot is of no consequence.
Lifting everyone up in prayer.
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Thank you for your gracious post, Nancy, I'm inspired we have a similar diagnosis & you've made it to the five year mark. Congratulations to you! Yes, I've completed my 4 weeks of radiation therapy & I'll be starting Tamoxifen later this week & praying all goes well with few SE''s that may add to any existing bone density or joint pain issues I already have with my cerebral palsy. Our Lord has gotten me this far, so I'm leaning on him to see me the rest of the way through. Thank you again for such a wonderful place to share experiences & faith. Many blessings to all - FaithFilled
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Nancy the pics are ALL so beautiful - Oh the COLORS!!! Sorry the getting was rough but really worth the shots you got I think!
FaithFilledGirl welcome to the group! Glad your rads are over. I pray your treatments do exactly what they were intended to do without se's, to God's glory.
Joanne I pray that those spots are NOT serious and that the Lord grants you peace until you find out for sure. That part is so hard for ANYone. God surely does answer prayers - and we're praying!
Thank you for the B-day wishes. Getting and feeling old here!
Lita I am so sorry about your fall. You amaze me with your wit and humor through all you deal with. You're a fighter all the way and I admire your spunk - we all do.
Blessings upon your day, ladies.
Ade
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Thank you all for your input on the photos. I wish I had more time to get out and take more but I don't think that is going to happen with my schedule before leaving for my Mom's on Thursday.
Ade, thank you and love the banner and it's words of truth and how it coordinates with the color of the wildflower photos.
Hershey, I get that so much too. You look great. Sometimes you just want to say well I feel like @#$$!!!!! I mentioned to a friend that the cancer drug caused a lot of issues. Her reply was ALL meds cause issues. So you are right..............no one gets it unless they have walked in our shoes.
Faith Filled... I sure hope your Tamoxifen will not be a problem for you. I know one of the ladies here was on an AI and eventually switched to Tamoxifen and has tolerated that drug much better. You have a lot do deal with already and I pray that you will do great and that this drug will protect you from any other cancer issues.
Lita, how is your back today?
Chris, how is your back pain too?
Joanne, one of my NY friends was talking about the May flies. I thought instantly of you and just a heads up to be sure you are not around any of those little buggers that caused you so much grief last year. Praying those spots will vanish.
Praying for all of you as we all have our unique and challenging issues we face.
Have a good night dear sisters.
Love,
Nancy
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Just finished the book of Isaiah...very intense.
Will be starting Philippians soon...hope my eyes hold up.
L
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Hello, Ladies!
Had a PET scan today, and I am praying the results are still NED.
The day started out kinda rough as first, I could not locate my insurance card and had to stop at my husband's place of work and caught him before he left the shop. Then, the major highway where I take the exit to the hospital (fifty mile trip one way)..was closed, and I had to detour out of the way! Then on the way home after the loooong procedure I got a terrible headache and felt my anxiety rising, so got a terrible panic attack and had to pull over in a little town along the way and catch my breath and calm down!
Last week our septic field ..I don't know..exploded? Anyways, it is needing fixed, so I got the permit yesterday and hope it gets fixed in time for my daughters visit here with her husband next week! Oh, and forgot if I mentioned our big news ...
Not one, but TWO of our daughters are pregnant! The youngest is due end of this month, and her older sister is due at the end of August!
Both grand babies are girls..Olivia and Enna. I can't wait to meet them..just not today though as I've just had that PET scan.
I told my youngest to please not go into labor until after I am no longer radioactive, so at least not until tomorrow afternoon! LOL!
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