End of the year school events

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HappyAnyway
HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
edited June 2019 in Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries

Our family has several school events in May. As long as I'm able, which I believe I will be, I will attend.

As you can see, I proactively shaved my head. I don't cover it unless I'm cold. I'm fine out and about, the gym, grocery, wherever, sporting my barely there hair. My first chemo treatment was last Friday. My next treatment is May 10. I may be shiny bald before said events. I don't plan on getting a wig.

I generally take a very honest, direct approach in situations. I'm friendly, please don't get me wrong. I'm not really concerned how my 15 year old daughter's friends will react. Some of them have shaved heads just because. They actually like my hair. My concern lies with my 8 year old's friends. My little one is very sensitive. I'm afraid that one of her school mates may make a comment that upsets her. Any ideas on how to proceed? All opinions and perspectives are welcome.

Thank you.


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  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited May 2019

    Maybe just be honest without going into detail. "I'm getting medical treatment that makes my hair come out. It will grow back later." Then smile and change the subject.

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  • MountainMia
    MountainMia Member Posts: 1,307
    edited May 2019

    The key might be how your girl perceives it. How do you think she's doing with it?

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited May 2019

    I’m a first grade teacher and have had several students whose parents had serious illnesses. I find that when parents are, age appropriately, honest with their children, the children are less anxious and able to talk about it with classmates. It’s really important that it not be treated as a secret or something shameful. If memory serves me, the American Cancer Society has some good resources for helping children deal with a loved ones cancer. All the best to you!


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  • Flynn
    Flynn Member Posts: 307
    edited May 2019

    My sons were 6 when I was diagnosed. We told them the medicine that I was taking would make my hair fall out. We were open about my diagnosis at school and two years later, I feel like it was the right call. Our principal warned me (in a kind way) that the word cancer will bring out stories about peers grandparents & other relatives dying of cancer because that does happen sometimes. I proactively pointed out how my sister and their grandmother had had breast cancer and are both fine now. I also talked to them about what they felt I should do with my bald head. They both felt strongly in favor of hats so I wore them when we together in public. I was more relaxed on my own but I did not want to make them uncomfortable. I checked in with them before bed frequently to see how they were doing. Eventually we started taking one son to a wonderful counselor. That's probably more than you were looking for but that's my experience! Best of luck to you.

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited May 2019

    AliceBastable, thanks for the quick response. My daughter knows that I am taking chemo, hence the hair loss. I told her that the medicine that will ultimately make me better may make me feel sick on occasion. I asked her this morning how she felt about me coming to school bald. She said don't worry mama, I have already told my friends! She is such a sweetheart.

    MountainMia, she is coping well. She expresses her feelings better than her 15 yo and 18 yo sisters. She makes up songs about my illness. They are very silly and sometimes crude, but I appreciate the fact that she can release her feelings. Thank you for asking about her.

    exbrnxgrl, thank you for your perspective as a teacher. I emailed my daughter's teacher when I was first diagnosed. I emailed her again when I began treatment. I want her to be aware so she can keep on eye on my little one. I have told my husband and girls to speak with others and/or me. I also told them that we can find a therapist if they need professional support. I will check out the American Cancer Society.

    Flynn, thank you for sharing your experience with me. That was exactly what I needed to hear!

    I am sorry that we all have cancer in common, but I feel blessed to have you all.

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited May 2019

    Flynn, I'm going to check out hats now. I'll ask for her input when she gets home this afternoon.

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  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited May 2019

    That’s pretty much the way it went for me. My then 7 yo grandson asked me where my hair was. I told him I was sick, and the medicine I had to take made it come out. That nana would have hair again. He accepted that, went his merry way. His younger brother didn’t notice, or ask.

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited May 2019

    Spookiesmom, thank you for sharing. :) Your name makes me smile.

    Update, one event done! I'm going to brag just a bit. My daughter received an award for "Demonstrating Excellence in Latin ll CP".

    Edited to add, my little one wants me to go without a hat if I still have my buzz cut or with a hat if I'm bald.

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  • Flynn
    Flynn Member Posts: 307
    edited May 2019

    Wow! That's great! My high school also taught Latin and I must say that I was not gifted in that area :)

    I'm glad that you and your little one came up with a plan. I'm here pretty often if I can do anything for you. It's all a lot to go through.



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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited May 2019

    Flynn, thank you for being here for me.

    She really struggled with Latin last year. This year she had a new teacher and really blossomed. Unfortunately, she isn't taking it next year. I'm still proud!

    I hope that you and your family are well!

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited May 2019

    My WBC was 0.6 on Friday. I received a Neupogen injection. I was afraid that I would miss my youngest daughter's ceremony today. I had lab work this morning. The Neupogen worked very well, bringing my count up to 6.1!

    I had a really good day today. Little bit scored three awards! One for library, most improved reading and top math. Library you say? That's what she and I said, too. She said mama, I don't even like library! From the mouths of babes.

    Only one more event the first weekend in June. I have chemo this Friday. Keeping my fingers crossed.

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  • Flynn
    Flynn Member Posts: 307
    edited May 2019

    Glad your wbc bounced back! I learned how to give myself the neupogen and had to give myself shots a few times. It never bothered me tho some people get very achy.

    Yay for the 3 awards! It’s really wonderful that you got to make it. I’ll cross my fingers that you make it to the last event. I’ve never heard of a library award, either.

    One of mine won an award for Champion of Curiosity at the school assembly last week. I laughed so hard! He is the kid who never just accepts what I say- he asks SO MANY questions. Now he’s actually earned an award lol.

    Good luck with your next cycle.

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited May 2019

    Flynn, thank you for the Neupogen info.

    Champion of curiosity! I love it!

    Thank you and I hope that you are well.

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  • Flynn
    Flynn Member Posts: 307
    edited June 2019

    Happy,

    How are you doing? Did school get wrapped up? When I was in chemo, I was happy to have a less rigid schedule during summer but it was also tiring having my sons home more. I hope you’re finding the side effects manageable:)


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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited June 2019

    Hey Flynn! Thanks for checking in on me.

    I wasn't able to attend the last event (low WBC), but my husband went and they had a great time.

    I just had my last AC on Friday and should start Taxol in a couple weeks. Fatigue has definitely set in.

    My girls are watching way too much TV and playing video games. Not ideal. We have also been playing a lot of card games.

    I hope you have a nice summer with your family. Thanks again!


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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited June 2019

    Glad you were able to get your wbc count up and enjoy the ceremony. Friday was my last day of school. I will miss my students, but I’ll enjoy the time off before my new crop arrives . Have a wonderful summer

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited June 2019

    Thank you for being a teacher, exbrnxgrl. Teachers hold a special place in my heart. I hope you have a nice summer.

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  • Flynn
    Flynn Member Posts: 307
    edited June 2019

    Happy, congrats on finishing AC! I hope that you can rest up a little bit and be ready to take on Taxol soon. I found Taxol much less tiring but I know that everyone is different. I hope you find the side effects tolerable. I’m certain this is not your idea of a fun summer but hopefully you’ll get great results from treatment!!

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