Large breast lump, expecting the worst.

Hi melza89,

Joining the Moderators in welcoming you here, and want you to know that whatever the outcome, you have support here. Glad you took the actions you did so far. You will get answers and if necessary, be able to form a plan. Agree, no need for guilt.

Prayers for your appointment tomorrow, and know that we are here for you.

Melza, I really understand how you feel. My circumstances were different in almost every way except I can remember the feeling, "Why in the world did I not feel or notice this?" The fact is: you didn't and I didn't. I have long ago let it go, but I would urge you to try to do so also. Now you need to take the next step directed by your physicians and then do the next thing and the next thing after that, if it's required, but don't get ahead of yourself until you know. I read someone say on this site early on (I wish I could credit her but I don't remember who said it), "You don't have to be brave, you just have to show up."

I am so sorry you find yourself here and yet I hope it's a real source of friendship and encouragement to you as it has been me. I've made friends with women from Hawaii to NY and a few places in between.

Hi Melza- I found my lump before my mammogram and didn't call my doctor or the imaging place and say I found something. I scheduled my regular screening mammogram. Partly out of fear, partly because my insurance would have made me pay through the nose for a diagnostic mammogram instead of screening one. So I understand how you feel - the guilt.

I am a newbie when it comes to cancer, especially breast cancer. My expertise is in dementia and I am a facilitator of a local support group. There I tell families guilt is a waste of time and energy. You are doing the best that you can to navigate through life and this disease.

I say the same to you Melza. Don't beat yourself up over this

Hi Melza

No doc , nor myself , could feel

my lump dx Jan/2019. I never did self exam

and postponed mamogram over and over.

The non stop oc-ing over my

perceived self neglect drove me crazy.

Looking back, the fact it was caught

eventually...and dealt with...is the only way

forward. You did the right thing by being

proactive and although the lump

may not even be cancer, it sounds like

you are on right path! Put the guilt to rest!

I know its hard- but the reality is- many of

these lumps are just not palpable- in fact ,

my radiologist told me self exams

are actually discouraged now. Still hard to

believe that, tho. I am sure you are in good

hands now- take each day as it comes

and try not to let your head do the “ what

if” game. Theres no winning that one!

ps.. Alice- you crack me up- reading these

posts can be scary and worrisome,

but your spunky wit brings much needed

levity and smiles to these forum

melza89

The ACR and other organizations recommend starting screening mammography at 40 so 41 is nothing to feel guilty about especially in light of the USPSTF recommendations where they want women to start mammos at 50 and not to examine themselves at all.

If you had a normal physical exam 5 months ago then whatever it is you have found it fairly early.

Have you had any recent weight loss? That can sometimes affect what can and cannot be felt in the breast.

Let us know what your imaging shows.

You're young; young breasts are lumpy, and it can be hard to differentiate one fibrous oddity from something else. Deal with the right now, not the past; life moves forward, not back. Hoping you get answers quickly, and hoping this is something benign. Do keep us posted.

This is not a life detour any of us want to take or asked for, but once the cards are handed to us, we play the hand we're dealt. If it turns out to be cancer, you'll summon an inner strength you never knew you had. In the meantime, get ahead on spring cleaning. It'll occupy your mind, and if it turns out to be cancer, having some of the once per year cleaning items checked off, will be nice. You can also do things like cook extra portions when making dinner and then freeze them. These will come in handy, and for now, it gives you a sense of control and get some things done you'll appreciate whether it turns out to be cancer or not.