I had delayed reconstruction, and so far I'm thrilled.

I haven't posted in a long time, but I remember reading a lot of negative posts about mastectomy and reconstruction when I was a regular, so I wanted to come back and share that it can also be a positive experience.

I had my double mastectomy in October 2017. I can't say the early days after surgery were pleasant, but I didn't have any complications or problems. My family was very supportive and helpful, which made it better.

Before I had the surgery, I told the surgeon I did not plan to do reconstruction. I thought I would be happy being flat. The only real complaint I have about my cancer journey so far is that my chest looked terrible. There was no plastic surgeon involved, and my breast surgeon did a great job getting rid of the cancer, but left me looking ugly and misshapen, and I had huge mounds of axillary tissue on my sides.

I was still planning to stay flat, and even joined the "Flat and Fabulous" group here and on FB. But I am overweight, and without boobs to balance it out, my stomach looked even bigger, which really messed up my self-esteem. I also got called "sir" more than once by teenagers and young adults who assumed a flat chest meant I was male.

Almost a year after my mastectomy, I decided I wanted to have revision surgery to make my chest look better. I saw a plastic surgeon, and we discussed my options, including reconstruction. I told him I still just wanted to have the revision surgery, and we set a date. But about a week before surgery, it suddenly hit me that I DID want breasts. I didn't want anything too big, but enough to give me a feminine curve again. So we talked about it and decided implants were probably my best option.

I had an area of extremely thin skin and no underlying tissue on the left side, so he told me we'd take it very slowly and just see what my body could handle. The tissue expanders were placed with no problem. The first fill was completely painless, but as it got more stretched I got muscle pain for a day or two afterward. I wore a mastectomy bra with hand warmers tucked in the pocket to relieve the pain.

He only put in 50 ccs every 2 weeks. I have some stretch marks under each breast, especially where the skin was really thin. But everything went well, and I just had my exchange surgery 7 weeks ago. The surgeon also removed most of the axillary tissue while he was in there. I really didn't have much pain or discomfort after this surgery. My breasts are small, but not too small, and I love them! I am really thrilled with my plastic surgeon, and have already recommended him to a friend who is going to have a mastectomy.

Several people have commented on how much happier I seem lately, and I know it's because I feel better about the way I look. I'm also SO relieved to be finished with this part of my cancer journey.

I didn't post this with the intention of influencing anyone's personal decision. I just wanted to share my experience in case it could help anyone in any way.