I need some positive thoughts and prayers, please.

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HappyAnyway
HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
edited July 2020 in Triple-Negative Breast Cancer

I just found out yesterday that I am triple negative with a Ki-67 75%. I have a very positive attitude but am currently experiencing a moment of weakness. This is moving so fast. Spirituality I believe that I will come through this a better person. Mentally I am teetering. I don't feel sorry for myself but am dreading what the next several months will be like.

I have an MRI on Monday, meet my oncologist on Tuesday and get my chemo port on Wednesday. My appointment with the oncologist was originally scheduled for the 23rd, but I asked to be put on the cancelation list and was moved up a week. I am happy about that.

I am about to leave to get a really short pixie cut. I've had that style several times before and like it. I eventually will shave my head. I'm actually cool with that, I think. I don't think I want a wig. I don't want to lose my eyebrows and eyelashes. Oh well. I'll make it through.

I found out that I have cancer. Dealt with that just fine. Found out that I am triple negative. Alright, I will deal. I'm nervous about the MRI results and bone scan the oncologist will order. I know that I will not be given more than I can handle, but how much will that be?

Thank you for reading. God bless.

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  • PiperKay
    PiperKay Member Posts: 173
    edited April 2019

    HappyAnyway, I like your attitude! Even your screen name shows your intent to get through this with positivity and optimism! Good start! Of course we all have moments of weakness when the tears start flowing for no apparent reason - or maybe a really good reason. Either way, you're not alone!

    Things do move fast. Six months ago I had cancer but didn't know it. Since then, I've had mammograms, ultrasounds, biopsies, surgery, port installation, 4 cycles of chemo, and am just about to start radiation.

    I lost most but not all of my hair, too, though I shaved it all off early on and chose not to go the wig route. Now I have a whole wardrobe of hats, beanies, scarves, turbans, headbands, etc., and I'm even going to go completely bald headed occasionally once the warmer weather stays put. Luckily I've still got some eyebrows and eyelashes, but I've watched enough you tube videos now that had I lost those, I would have been totally prepared to deal with that too.

    As for what will you be dealing with? You'll only know once it happens, but I've found that taking things in small bites but with a longer-term plan in mind has been good for me. I deal with the present, what's in front of me now, but I inform myself about next steps well before taking them. Overall, I try to live my life as before and try not to dwell on the cancer stuff any more than I have to. For example, I can get sucked into this site on some days, but I can't let myself do that too often because that's elevating the cancer above where it should be, allowing it to overwhelm me. That's not good. And on that note, I'm going to get off for now. I'm sure you'll get many more posts to boost your positivity and to offer prayers. We're in this together!

    EnCOURAGE each other!

    Anne

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited April 2019

    PiperKay, your post empowered me. I feel better now. I even decided to skip the pixie and go straight to the buzz cut.

    Thank you.


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  • Cowgirl13
    Cowgirl13 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited April 2019

    Happy, you are at the hardest part in this journey and I promise you it will get better and you will get through this. Once you have your treatment plan in place it becomes easier and you will have much help and support on these boards. And it is possible to come out of this a better person. I know I did. Hard to think it was almost 10 years ago. Prayers going out to you.

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  • Cowgirl13
    Cowgirl13 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited April 2019

    And I did the buzz cut before my hair all fell out. Go for it!

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited April 2019

    Check out my forum photo or whatever it's called. My new do.

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited April 2019

    By the way, Cowgirl13, 10 years is AWESOME!

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  • UpstateNYer
    UpstateNYer Member Posts: 387
    edited April 2019

    hi Happyanyway. I am praying for you daily. I just got some not so great news yesterday. My margins came back with cancer after reexcision surgery a week ago. Now, I am facing a third surgery. My surgeon wants clear margins before I undergo radiation. Some days it is 1 step forward and 2 steps back. We all deal in stride. I was feeling bad before my appointment. I guess I knew on some level what the diagnosis would be. My hubby had a bad feeling as well. I do feel better now. I am going to look at my pathology slides with the pathologist next week. My surgeon suggested I do this, not sure why. I will have many questions for her. Keep the faith. We'll both get through this. You look cute in short hair by the way. 😊

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited April 2019

    Man, I am so sorry to hear about the positive margins. I am certainly praying for you. Sending much love.

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  • Cowgirl13
    Cowgirl13 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited April 2019

    Happy, love the new do!!!

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited April 2019

    Thanks for the compliments, UpstaeNYer and Cowgirl13! I had a rough morning. My spirit was lifted by PiperKay. I felt bold! My 18 year old shaved it for me. It was a very good experience.

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  • santabarbarian
    santabarbarian Member Posts: 3,085
    edited April 2019

    OMG you look like an 18 year old yourself!

    I kicked TNBCs ass-- so I'm offering you that story, for some hope! TNBC is killable! Do it all. Pay attention to diet, supplements, and exercise, and complimentary practices, alongside chemo. Look into all the little ways you can gather up a couple of percentage points towards better outcome or fewer side effects (fasting, melatonin, metformin, high dose C, hyperthermia). I went for it all because I had 2B under the old diagnostic guidelines (3c under current guidelines!!). I wanted to live, so my attitude was, "if it won't hurt me and might help me, I'll do it." Check out "Life Over Cancer" by Dr Keith Block, a very knowledgeable integrative MO.

    Get disciplined and proactive! And stay happy!!!!!

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  • santabarbarian
    santabarbarian Member Posts: 3,085
    edited April 2019

    PS chemo was easier than I feared.,,, exhausting, but not ill-horrible. Never threw up and did not even take any nausea meds on my last 2 chemos. Treatment eats up months of time, and you may get very little done during treatment, but you just slog through it and make it to the finish line taking good care of yourself with sleep and nutrition and letting loved ones help you and support you!

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited April 2019

    I appreciate your response, santabarbarian! I love your positive vibes.

    I began eating much cleaner in January, before I detected my angry lump. I only drink water, only eat red meat, gluten and sweets on occasion. I will probably go vegetarian. I'm getting melatonin today and plan on discussing metformin with my MO. My sister works in an office that provides vitamin c infusions. The doctor that she works for recommends that I take them after chemo.

    I haven't researched fasting or hyperthermia yet, but I certainly will. I will read the book that you recommended. Thanks so much for your valuable input!

    I'm with you! I have too much to live for. I won't even consider the alternative.

    Thanks for sharing your chemo experience, too.

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  • Flynn
    Flynn Member Posts: 307
    edited April 2019

    Good luck with your MRI today. I hope it goes smoothly. Sounds like you have a packed beginning of the week. I was anxious to get the ball rolling but still went thru many ups and downs as scans & chemo got underway. Sending you good thoughts!

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited April 2019

    Good evening, everyone.

    The MRI shows that there is no lymph node involvement and my other breast is great! The clinical stage is 2b.

    I will have the chemo port installed tomorrow. I can't eat or drink after 6am. The procedure is scheduled for 2:00. I'm a tough stick and am a little concerned since I won't be able to drink water past 6. Either way, the port will be installed. One step closer!

    MO appointment on Friday will be to to discuss the chemo process followed by chemo training. In the meantime, he's ordering a bone scan and CT scan.

    Feeling much better since my appointment today and am anticipating a good night's sleep!

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  • purplestargazer
    purplestargazer Member Posts: 77
    edited April 2019

    My story:

    June 2017 Stage 2B. Node negative. ACT chemo. Lumpx pls rads. Then adjuvant Xeloda. Then Keytruda clinical trial.

    March 2019 Stage 1. Node negative. Two weeks out of BMX. Scheduled for 4 rounds of Carboplatin with Gemzar.

    I turn 40 next month..I had a 7 y/o who is now 9. Married and have two dogs. I also run two business. Super busy life that doesn't easily go on-hold.

    I've missed a few beats but not many. Youth was on my side in making all the treatment that much easier. AC was rough but I rebounded quickly after a few days. Taxol was a cake walk. Xeloda was even easier. Keytruda was like receiving an infusion of water. (Apparently none of it did much for me but that's a different story. And TN is many different diseases lumped under one umbrella).

    Everyone reacts differently but please know that this can be done. I have lived a lot of life between diagnoses. I'm planning to live much more life after this one.

    I love your spirit and I know you can do this. And we've all got your back.


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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited April 2019

    Thank you for your support, purplestargazer. How are you feeling now? I hope you have a smooth and speedy recovery. Thanks for sharing with me.

    My chemo appointment was rescheduled. The pre cert wasn't approved on time. My first treatment is tomorrow at 1:00. I'm ready, but nervous.


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  • Kayrem
    Kayrem Member Posts: 164
    edited May 2019

    Hi Happyanyway. I will be 8 years out since my surgery at the end of June 2011. Definitely hard work but you can do it. Keep yourself healthy and eat as best you can during Chemo (I ate what ever I could stomache really and did not worry about it at all). Remember this will pass and you have a LOT of great years ahead of you with the people that you love

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited May 2019

    Thank you, Kayrem. I'm glad to hear that you are well. That is encouraging!

    So far I have 3 AC treatments down, 1 to go (June 7), followed by 12 weekly Taxol.

    My MO had the MRI reviewed a second time and had a suspicious node mentioned in the report. That prompted approval from my insurance company for a CT /PET scan. I haven't seen my MO since then, only the NP. I'm not impressed with the NP, but that's another thread. :)

    Prior to the PET, my MO said that the node is to be considered guilty until proven innocent. He recommended mastectomy plus radiation. The node is not accessible by surgery.

    I see the NP for the fourth time tomorrow. MO will be out of the office. I've seen him twice. I will insist on seeing him on the 14th.

    I was just reading about radiation when you responded to this. I have some research to do.

    I usually post in the May chemo thread. I need to venture out and post more under triple negative. You all are a great resource. I appreciate those that have come before me and continue to support all of us that are currently undergoing treatment.

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  • jrominger
    jrominger Member Posts: 349
    edited May 2020

    Hi Happyanyway. How are things. Just reminding you I pray for you every day. Things here in AZ are going well. We canceled our 3 month check up and will go next month. Still isolating ourselves but doing some social distancing happy hours with family and friends. Off to mountain bike!! Hang tough and know God is with us!!

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited May 2020

    Hi Jay!

    Thanks for thinking of me and keeping me in your prayers.

    I'm receiving a Keytruda infusion as I type. I had a nice appointment with my MO today. I finish my Xeloda on Sunday. That's it for chemo! Yay!

    I have a consult with a RO on Wednesday.

    I've been busy. Painted an outdoor table and benches. Stained the rails on our deck. Hope to stain the deck floor this weekend. It's been raining so much here. My husband and two of my girls have helped.

    Keeping Nat and you in my prayers. Please tell her that I said hi.

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  • jrominger
    jrominger Member Posts: 349
    edited June 2020

    Hi Happyanyway. I sure think of you and your family every day. Praying all is improving for you, your husband and your girls. One day at a time out here in AZ. We are blessed just to be together. You are a tough woman. Stay strong and I will pray for all of you!! Miss my law enforcement son and his family in NM but grateful for FaceTime and his safety. imageHere is our new pup. Blessings to you Happyanyway!!

    Jay Rominger.

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  • HappyAnyway
    HappyAnyway Member Posts: 446
    edited June 2020

    Hi Jay! Thanks so much for the message. It couldn't have come at a better time.

    I'm currently undergoing radiation. I've had 16 of 30 treatments. I have radiation dermatitis, AKA an insanely itchy rash that's preventing me from sleeping tonight.

    Thank for sharing the photo of your sweet little puppy.

    Keeping you all in my prayers, especially your son.

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  • jrominger
    jrominger Member Posts: 349
    edited July 2020

    Hi Happyanyway so great to hear from you. You are in my prayers multiple times every day. Natalie and I immediately prayed for relief from the radiation itch!! What a pain in the xxx. BUT we know that is radiation is doing it’s job in getting rid of any remaining cells!! Hopefully they have some ideas on it haha relief!! Way more than halfway done!! How is your husband’s health coming along? What is new with your girls??? Our son Zachary is hanging tough. He runs that violent crime task force in AQ so he is quite busy now!! His health is improving. A weird 2 yr long fight with adult Epstein bar!! Our daughter (nurse) and her husband (fireman/paramedic) are on the front lines. Safe so far. We are tired of not having the grandkids in the house so we may disregard our daughters advice and allow them in. We need it. All of this will end one day!! You hang tough and know that our God is watching over you and cares deeply for you.

    Blessings to your whole family!!

    Jay and Natalie Rominger

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  • jrominger
    jrominger Member Posts: 349
    edited July 2020

    imageimage

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  • santabarbarian
    santabarbarian Member Posts: 3,085
    edited July 2020

    Hey I just stumbled into this thread! Hi to Jay and Happy Anyway, I send you love and sure belief! Kep on keeping on! There is something called "Domeboro" that I found relieving for the itch. NEARLY done!! xoxox

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