Waiting is the hardest part (Bi-Rads 4C)

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Fairydragonfly
Fairydragonfly Member Posts: 194
edited April 2019 in Waiting for Test Results

It's been a whirlwind month for me. Due to family history, I've been going for screening mammograms before I turned 40. Never been an issue until my last one on March 6, 2019. I was called back for a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound on March 18 after which I was told I needed to go for an ultrasound guided breast core biopsy. I went for the biopsy yesterday (April 5).

Here's what I do know (right breast)

  • Scattered fibrogradular densities
  • No suspicious microcalcifications or areas of architectural distortion
  • Irregular hypoechoic mass measuring 0.7 x .0.8 x 0.9
  • Bi-Rads 4C
I'm in moderate discomfort from the procedure, which is serving as a constant reminder of what I am waiting for.

What is making this so difficult is I want to call my mom, but I can't. She passed away from pancreatic cancer January 2018 followed by my dad from lung cancer August 2018. I am the matriarch of my family at 43, single, and my sister lives in a different province (and has never been someone I can turn to for support, she's usually the one I'm supporting). So my support network is friends and colleagues who are all around the same age and busy with work and their families.

I keep going down the rabbit hole about what will happen if it is cancer. If I'm struggling now, what will it be like going through surgery/treatments?


Thank you for reading.

Comments

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited April 2019

    HI Fairydragonfly, and welcome to Breastcancer.org,

    We're so sorry you're here and worrying, but we're glad you've found us. You're sure to find this amazing community a wonderful source of inspiration, advice, and support. We're all here for you and wishing you benign results!

    Try keeping yourself busy until your results come in. We know it's hard to keep your mind off "worst case scenario," but until you know more about what you MIGHT be dealing with, there's no point in making it worse for yourself by worrying.

    And, if this turns out not the way you planned, we can assure you there are many, many wonderful members here who have been where you are, gone through it all, and came out just fine on the other side. And they'll all be here to support you through it, too!

    Please let us know what you find out.

    --The Mods

  • Worriedaboutbiopsy
    Worriedaboutbiopsy Member Posts: 6
    edited April 2019

    Hi fairydragonfly,

    I completely understand! I am waiting for biopsy results as well, biopsy yesterday. I go back and forth between ignore, and Google! Stumbled on this forum and have been reading stories. Everybody seems supportive and I've found good advice just reading responses from veterans:) from my US report, lobulated hypoechoic mass with shadowing, Birads 4. You are not alone and we should be getting our results around the same time. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

  • Worriedaboutbiopsy
    Worriedaboutbiopsy Member Posts: 6
    edited April 2019

    Hi fairydragonfly,

    I completely understand! I am waiting for biopsy results as well, biopsy yesterday. I go back and forth between ignore, and Google! Stumbled on this forum and have been reading stories. Everybody seems supportive and I've found good advice just reading responses from veterans:) from my US report, lobulated hypoechoic mass with shadowing, Birads 4. You are not alone and we should be getting our results around the same time. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

  • Fairydragonfly
    Fairydragonfly Member Posts: 194
    edited April 2019

    I have a love/hate relationship with Dr. Google. I have been lurking/reading on the board for about a week. I was provided the link by the Canadian Cancer society as I was looking for emotional support.

    The forum definitely helps me not feel so alone. Keeping you in my thoughts as well. ❤️❤️

  • Fairydragonfly
    Fairydragonfly Member Posts: 194
    edited April 2019

    Grateful to everyone here. I feeL so alone at times.

  • beep7bop
    beep7bop Member Posts: 130
    edited April 2019

    well ladies last month I was with you scared to death. This week I just want to go in reverse as fast as I can.. But a lot who were in my shoes are just fine and moving on. I haven't been so Lucky. I found out I have IDC in Left on March 11th 2019 So I went for Double MX on April 1, 2019. on April 4th 2019  I found out I also have cancer in my Right Breast so will be having lymph node removal  along with area to get clear margins. As soon as I heal. FIGHT!  Knowing doesn't help me after all. But I Have things to do and will continue to FIGHT THIS!!!

  • Fairydragonfly
    Fairydragonfly Member Posts: 194
    edited April 2019

    Beep7bop, I hate the unknown. It's so easy to go to very dark places. I am keeping you in my thoughts as you continue your fight and hope I can be as strong as you.

    ❤️

  • SarBar22
    SarBar22 Member Posts: 34
    edited April 2019

    Hi! So sorry you’re dealing with the wait. Just wanted to pop in here as a fellow Birads 4C-er with a larger hypoechoic mass and it all turned out to be a weird papilloma/radial scar. I’m sending all the positive vibes it turns out the same for you!

  • Natasha007
    Natasha007 Member Posts: 44
    edited April 2019

    so sorry you are going through this. It is pure torture. Like SarBar, I was Birads 4C and mine turned out to be benign. It happens quite a bit on this site. Please have hope. I will be praying.

  • Fairydragonfly
    Fairydragonfly Member Posts: 194
    edited April 2019

    Thank you both for sharing your benign results. I hope that I will have positive news to share. This waiting is torture though.

  • Fairydragonfly
    Fairydragonfly Member Posts: 194
    edited April 2019

    I wanted to thank everyone for the support provided.

    Today I got my preliminary results and a confirmation of cancer.


  • Rae7200
    Rae7200 Member Posts: 37
    edited April 2019

    Fairydragon, welcome to the club no one wants to join. I’ve been through it twice, 3 years apart. The initial shock is pretty devastating. Do you have someone to talk with? If not, the ladies here are super, and can give you lots of guidance, and support. The boards are filled with lots and lots of info. Deep breath. If you can distract yourself with a book or TV or a movie, that may be a good thing. If you can, take someone with you to your doc appointments to take notes, as there will be a lot of info, and you may still be in a bit of a state of shock. Best wishes

  • stotlj00
    stotlj00 Member Posts: 5
    edited April 2019

    Fairydragon, let us know how you’re doing. I understand the shock when you first learn that you have cancer. You can get through this though! Reach out to us here & we will help you through it too. Prayers & positive thoughts coming your way

  • AMLMom
    AMLMom Member Posts: 102
    edited April 2019

    Hi Fairydragongly, I just wanted to reach out and tell you how sorry I am for all you are dealing with. I can relate. I was 45 when I was diagnosed in November; my mother passed away from pancreatic cancer when she was 42 and I have had little relationship with my father since then; and I am matriarch to my adult siblings.

    I felt paralyzed for four months while going through all the testing to finally get a diagnosis. I was scared and depressed, and was spiraling downhill quickly as I worried about the worst possible outcome. However, today I feel better than I have in over a decade because this cancer has forced me to take care of myself - physically and emotionally. Even though my cancer was much larger than first thought and I lost half of my breast, I believe the worst is behind me and I feel so grateful that my breast cancer was early stage and very treatable. I have zero pain, and so farradiation has been easy for me.

    You are definitely in the worst part right now, but it should get easier once you know exactly what you’re dealing with and have a plan. I hope that your cancer is also early stage.

    The ladies on this forum are amazing and will provide so much information and support. Do not hesitate to reach out.

    Hugs


  • Fairydragonfly
    Fairydragonfly Member Posts: 194
    edited April 2019

    I'm still in shock. I keep getting hit with waves of emotions at unexpected times (grocery shopping? Seriously?). I have posted on the newly diagnosed board. Been very tired/exhausted.


    Thank you all. ❤️

  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited April 2019

    I found that it helps to do something fun and un-cancery. My mother also died shortly before I was diagnosed (four months), and it was hard to go through it without her - or with planning what information to keep from her! I went to a terrific, loud, awesome concert the night after my biopsy. I stuck that little ice disc in my bra and had a blast. Build some positive memories while you go through tests, surgery, and treatments. It really helps.

  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited April 2019

    I got a prescription for lorazepam it helped with the constant panic and helplessness feeling. No way my mind could be redirected by a movie (my husbands suggestion, forget it for now). Although being outside helped a little going to the lake watching the ducks. I used lorazepam for the 1st 2 months, it helped then one day the cancer that was always in the forefront of my mind moved to the back burner. Time is our friend.

  • Fairydragonfly
    Fairydragonfly Member Posts: 194
    edited April 2019

    I have a prescription for Oxazepam plus a prescription for sleeping pills. I only use the Oxazepam when I know I am going into a high anxiety situation (took two the day of the biopsy). I'm using the sleeping pills to get me to work and try not to use them on weekends. I am finding it very exhausting to tell people the news over and over. Plus I am just tired/drained all the time.

    I'm trying to think of things to do, but my exhaustion makes going out difficult.

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