Today is the day

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Deb65
Deb65 Member Posts: 11
edited March 2019 in Not Diagnosed But Worried

Good Morning,

I am new here and am finding this site so helpful. I will be getting my biopsy results back today. I had 3 biopsies, one in my right breast which is where I found the lump, one in that same side lympnoid because they saw thicking in one and one in the left which is very small. I am having such a hard time because I know that today most likely will be the day my life will change forever. I am sure everyone goes through this but is is the worst anxiety I have ever felt.

I also keep focusing on every pain that I have been having and can not stop thinking that it has spread. Have had small amounts of back/neck pain for months and have thought it was stress but now I cant help thinking it is something to do with this. Sorry to go on and on but I just have to get this out. Thanks for listening and I hope everything goes easy and well for who ever is reading this.

Comments

  • FrenchPorsche
    FrenchPorsche Member Posts: 75
    edited March 2019

    Hi Deb

    I hope the waiting is over and you have some clarity on your situation. Either way, the waiting is the worst and I believe that it’s not as scary as it seems to be. I’m getting biopsy results tomorrow although I already have a diagnosis. I just want to get on to the treatment part.

    I’ve also worried about other ‘symptoms’, but try not to worry about the other pains - there are so many other non cancer related things that happen in our bodies.

    Please let us know how you got on. Xx

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited March 2019

    Hi Deb -- sending love to you! Hoping you got your results and there's nothing to worry about!

    Please come back and let us know what you've learned. We're all here for you, no matter what!

    --The Mods

  • Deb65
    Deb65 Member Posts: 11
    edited March 2019

    I did get results and it was not so good. Invasive ductal carsanoma and positive lymph. Kinda sucks but I am going to fight this with all I have until it's gone. It's just so hard not knowing anything like if its spread although I feel fine. All of this is so hard to wrap my head around. I have appt with surgeon 4/11. Thanks so much for your reply.

  • Salamandra
    Salamandra Member Posts: 1,444
    edited March 2019

    Hey Deb65,

    Sorry to hear that!

    Yes, it is so hard, the stage you're in. You know something, but it feels like the stuff you don't know is the most important. And that's true. I also remember feeling like I couldn't wrap my head around it.

    What I will say to you that I wish someone had said to me when I was at your stage is:

    • Based on how it was found, it is almost certainly early stage. That means it's treatable with an excellent chance you can make it go away for ever.
    • Even with multiple positive lymph nodes, you can still have a stage I cancer.
    • Even stage III is still considered early stage
    • Stage IV isn't a death sentence any more like it used to be. It's a chronic condition that requires ongoing management and care, but many people live many years.
    • You will be ok.
    Where is your first appointment? Is it with a surgical oncologist or medical oncologist?
  • FrenchPorsche
    FrenchPorsche Member Posts: 75
    edited March 2019

    Sorry it wasn't the result you were hoping for. Hoping you won't need to wait long for your treatment and being able to put this behind you.

    It's good to hear you are physically feeling fine in the meantime.Xx

  • Beatmon
    Beatmon Member Posts: 1,562
    edited March 2019

    Deb65, once your plan is in place, the anxiety gets better. It’s all so new and scary at this point. Good luck

  • Deb65
    Deb65 Member Posts: 11
    edited March 2019

    Thank you so much for that encouragement. I read this at exactly the right time. I am going to learn so much from you all as it looks like you have all been through a lot. I will be seeing a surgical oncologist in April. In the mean time I will have an MRI before that appointment.

    Thank you all for being so kind this is crazy hard to wrap my head around.

  • Elephant
    Elephant Member Posts: 88
    edited March 2019

    Deb65: this is the worse time, knowing and not knowing. Once you get your treatment plan, you will feel so much better. I was a total mess until I had a definite plan and then I was anxious to get going with the treatment. It is not surprising that it is hard to wrap your head around all this, no one expects to get breast cancer and the news is a total shock. I remember one thing that kept me positive: a friend of mine who had been through this told me to remember that there will soon be a time when the last thing you think of at night and the first thing you think of in the morning will no longer be breast cancer.

  • Peregrinelady
    Peregrinelady Member Posts: 1,019
    edited March 2019
    The one thing I wish I knew was to ask for anti anxiety meds sooner. I didn’t use them very often, but just just knowing I had them calmed me down.
  • djmammo
    djmammo Member Posts: 2,939
    edited March 2019

    The famed NBC weather man Willard Scott suffered from what used to be called "stage fright" and was prescribed Valium to reduce his anxiety, He would keep one in his shirt pocket in case he needed it during a broadcast. He apparently made it though his entire TV career without ever taking that tablet as just knowing it was there got him through the day.

  • pingpong1953
    pingpong1953 Member Posts: 362
    edited March 2019

    Sorry about your diagnosis. The others on the board have said that you'll feel better once you have a treatment plan in place, and I found that to be true, too. At least you'll feel like you're doing something! There is so much helpful information on this forum - I'm amazed at how little I knew about breast cancer before I got it!

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