Tomorrow cannot come soon enough!

I know you all know what I am feeling but I wanted to write it out and vent a little.


I feel like I have been waiting forever to meet with the medical oncologist for Oncotype testing results when in reality, it has only been two weeks since the surgeon referred me to a medical oncologist and sent my sample for Oncotype testing.


So many decisions are riding on this appointment.


I met with the surgeon twice and had the usual batches of testing, from genetic testing for BRCA status(negative) to MRI and core biopsy.


When I went for my 2nd appointment with the surgeon, I was stunned when she told me it wasn't 1.3 cm, it was 3.8 CM! and she wanted me to consult with a medical oncologist to see if it can/should be shrunk before lumpectomy.


As a backstory, I also have an autoimmune disease, so I am petrified that some therapies, like immunotherapy, are not available to me. (not that I am a doctor, I just google too much, as we all do ). My rheumatologist took me off my biologic treatment to prep for surgery. Surgery is scheduled for 4/11/19 but could be canceled based on the medical oncologist appointment tomorrow.


The tumor is Estrogen and progesterone positive ( over 90%), HER2 - so I have my fingers crossed that I can take hormone therapy not chemo.-there I go again playing doctor


So, here I sit, until 9 AM tomorrow morning, rolling all the options over in my head again and again, and trying to plan for every eventuality. I know it is impossible.


I will think positive thoughts, keep my fingers crossed a little while longer, that chemo is not the plan just hormone therapy, and then a lumpectomy.


I never thought I would be HOPING for such things.


I am keeping you all in my thoughts, as we all struggle with the waiting,


Thank you for being here so I can vent!






Catherine