I'm new, and I'm so scared...

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mom2bunky
mom2bunky Member Posts: 189
edited March 2019 in Not Diagnosed But Worried

Hello everyone, I suppose you'll have heard all this a thousand times, but it's all so new to me.

I have always had dense breasts, and often called back from 3D mammograms for ultrasounds. Always come back okay. I am 55 years old, just started menopause and HRT. I'd been on birth control before that. Only been on HRT for about 2 months. One healthy pregnancy. Nursed almost 2 years.

This year's mammogram resulted in another call back, sonogram and they didn't like what they saw so this morning (3 days later) i had a needle biopsy with sonogram. The Dr. confided that she is very worried, she didn't like the look of it and that the edges are ragged. She looked at last year's images as well and says that while the area was there, it was smooth and without concern then. I am expecting the bad news when I get the biopsy results in 3-5 days. I have a good friend who is an oncologist and she's already making calls to colleagues she has here finding me the best hospital and doctors. The nurse "navigator" at the mammogram center is absolutely lovely and comforting. I really have no complaints. In fact I guess I don't have anything to ask really other than, I don't know. The doctor was also very adamant about how far treatment has come and that it's no longer a death sentence and there are many treatments that can be done, etc etc. Looks like an MRI may be in my immediate future.

I had a good ugly cry after the sonogram three days ago, because I just had a bad feeling. Now, I am crazily calm. Scared, but calm. I've asked my husband for normality. Please don't fuss over me and I know he'll do that. I can't tell my father because he's almost 90 and he lost my mother to a cancer that was so rapid and merciless that by the time she felt ill it was everywhere. Did it start in the breast? Who knows, they never could figure it out. This was 21 years ago. Luckily he lives in a different state so it's easy enough to conceal things from him for the time being.


So anyway, here I am. I have so much to learn. I'm lucky to have insurance and friends and family and now I've found this, what I hope to be a good resource.


Thank you for reading...

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Comments

  • GreenHarbor
    GreenHarbor Member Posts: 265
    edited March 2019

    I’m glad you found us; waiting is the absolute worst!! It sounds like you have good support around you. My advice for you until you get your biopsy results is to try and stay busy... bake, read, binge watch a new TV series, go for a long walk... anything to keep you distracted. Be careful with the internet. There is a lot of garbage out there. Even be careful here. Until you have a diagnosis, it’s hard to know which info will apply to you. I was in your shoes last summer and it’s no fun at all, I know. I will be thinking of you. Check back when you can and keep us posted.

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited March 2019

    Mom2bunky,

    We just wanted to welcome you and tell you we're so sorry you're here and worrying. As you can already see, our Community is an amazing source of support -- we're all here for you!

    GreenHarbor is right -- try to stay calm and positive, and keep yourself busy until the results come in. Nothing is written in stone yet!

    Keep us posted on your results and we'll all be sending our positive thoughts!

    --The Mods

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  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited March 2019

    Well, if it was a death sentence, none of us would be here to post! Cry if it helps (for some reason, I never did or felt too freaked out), then do something FUN for yourself. I had my biopsy last June, and went to a great rockin' concert the next night. And I'm considerably older than you. I remember the concert better than the biopsy at this point. My hubby and I made a point to do lots of fun things all year between appointments, tests, and surgeries (I had three of those 😱). We did day trips, mini-vacations, and even just taking walks in local parks after appointments. My BS laughed when she'd call about something and I was wandering in some state park without a piece of paper to write things down. And now, looking back at that crappy year (I also lost my mother and had some other things happen), I still have some good memories because I deliberately made some. Balance REALLY can help.

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  • mom2bunky
    mom2bunky Member Posts: 189
    edited March 2019

    Wow you all are wonderful. I’ve definitely come to the right place. Will keep you posted and thank you for the great advice and warm welcome

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  • Goldenlady1115
    Goldenlady1115 Member Posts: 3
    edited March 2019

    Mom2bunky, we are living in parallel for the moment. I just joined this forum today, after receiving news from first (a rather insensitive) radiologist earlier in the week, and second from a very well-regarded breast surgeon / surgical oncologist yesterday. I too have dense breasts and have been called back every single time (and everything has always been okay). For this reason, I have not had a mammogram for some years. I had a biopsy yesterday and will have confirmation this coming Wednesday. My thing (what exactly do I call it?) is small as far as I know, and I am feeling scared but optimistic at the same time. The hardest part will be telling my daughter as we lost her father just this past May. I will check in regularly to follow your journey here. Please take care of yourself.

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  • mom2bunky
    mom2bunky Member Posts: 189
    edited March 2019

    Goldenlady: Thank you for your post. I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’ll be thinking of you and holding your hand as we go through this

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited March 2019

    Dear Goldenlady1115,

    Welcome to the BCO community. We are sorry for what you are going through but glad that you reached out to our members. Please keep us posted on what you learn. We will be thinking of you and sending along our best wishes for a benign result.

    The Mods

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  • MsRukia
    MsRukia Member Posts: 37
    edited March 2019

    hang in there. I have my biopsy tomorrow and I’m not looking forward to it. There is great support here

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  • mom2bunky
    mom2bunky Member Posts: 189
    edited March 2019

    thanks. I'm trying.

    If helps at all, I had a needle biopsy with sonogram and it really wasn't too bad. Sure I'd rather be sipping a cafe in Paris, but..... really not bad

    Good luck

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  • Nas
    Nas Member Posts: 102
    edited March 2019

    Just think if in the worst case you had somethig you would do sergury and will be fine...we alllllll have been there and now are living our lives, my oncologist told me nowadays breast cancer is like chronic disease and so treatable, he told me you will die with it not of it😊 just take a deep breath and stay positive, I know what exactly you are going through, I was crying for 3 weeks after diagnosis and surgery, I was only 38 years old, now all is in the past and I’m grateful to find it early and being able to celebrate my 40th birthday soon😊

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  • Goldenlady1115
    Goldenlady1115 Member Posts: 3
    edited March 2019

    Hello everyone. I received my results today ... invasive ductal grade 1. I was hoping for better news, but my doctor and I feel it is a good prognosis. Thanks very much and I will see what other threads may be pertinent here.

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  • mom2bunky
    mom2bunky Member Posts: 189
    edited March 2019

    I'm sorry Goldenlady, and I'm sending you a virtual strong hug.

    I got my results today too. But I was so stunned I only heard “cancer" and “ductal". So, I don't have details. I've spent the day on the phone scheduling the breast MRI (Friday) and the breast surgeon (Tuesday). The biomarker results aren't in yet, so other than “cancer", I know jack. But the nurse at surgeon's office told me y lymph nodes are clear, so I guess that's something.

    Good luck to you. And to me.

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  • Cunninghsm07
    Cunninghsm07 Member Posts: 11
    edited March 2019

    Goldenlady1115, I am sorry that your results were not what was hoped. I am glad to hear that there is a good prognosis and wish you strength in your journey ahead.


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  • Salamandra
    Salamandra Member Posts: 1,444
    edited March 2019

    Goldenlady and mom2bunky,

    Sorry to hear your news. Glad you are here with us.

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  • Goldenlady1115
    Goldenlady1115 Member Posts: 3
    edited March 2019

    Thanks everyone for your support. Mom2bunky, please take care. It is scary, I have to admit, but I trust we will both come through this just fine.

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