Confused

you won’t know what kind until after a biopsy is completed. Totally up to you about when you talk to others. I didn’t even tell my husband until after i had biopsy results, largely because he was in the hospital at the time. My style is that I don’t tell until i know what to say. I limited who i told about my diagnosis to grown children, husband, parents and siblings until i had a treatment plan. Once you tell people anything there is no getting it back in the bag. Do you have one person in whom you can confide? If so and you need to talk use that person. Many many biopsies come back negative for cancer.

I posted on Facebook the night before my biopsy. I was feeling scared. I'm single and independent, and I knew my friends would be a great source of comfort and support for me. I got an outpouring of kindness on that post. When I got the malignant results about two weeks later, I texted my father, my siblings and my two closest friends. I also commented on the FB post to let others know.

For me, I can't imagine going through this in a secretive way. It would have have added a ton of stress for me. On the other hand, for other women, it's the opposite way around. Being private with the information is much less stressful for them. You should do whatever feels right to you. The only thing to be careful with, I think, is speaking with children or teenagers (if you have them). I don't think that means waiting until a particular time, necessarily (depending on their age too) but just in how you frame it and the emotional tenor of your conversations with them.

You can't trust the size too much on the imaging, you only get an idea from the mammography/biopsy/MRI. 6ish centimeters would be considered large. If it is cancer, then depending on the profile of the tumor (which the biopsy will give you information about), you are more likely to be recommended chemotherapy before surgery to shrink it. Depending on the size of your breasts, the area/location of the cancer, and how much it shrinks, it's possible you'll be recommended a mastectomy instead of a lumpectomy. But all of that is things you'll have to discuss with your oncologists, after they get the information from the biopsy. The enlarged lymph node could be cancer or not. Either way, they will probably check more of your lymph nodes for cancer to get an idea of whether they should treat your lymph nodes for cancer too (either remove them or radiate them).

In general, a larger tumor and lymph node involvement would indicate a higher (though still likely early) stage than a smaller tumor without lymph node involvement. But so very much depends on the characteristics of the tumor (determined initially by biopsy and sometimes revised after surgery) and what they find when they biopsy your lymph nodes. Whatever the biopsy reveals, they have so many different treatments and approaches. The important thing will be to find an oncology team that you have confidence in.

Now would be a great time to start doing legwork to getting your file to an NCI Cancer Center for either your first or second opinion. It's usually some phone calls and paperwork to make sure they get everything they need. Call them first, they'll likely have an intake number listed, and they'll tell you what to do. It might also be a good time to research your work medical accommodation options and your health insurance coverage.

Now is also a really good time to be very kind to yourself, cut yourself as many breaks as you can, lean on friends and family for whatever support feels right to you, and distract yourself when necessary by any means that works for you. I mean, now is probably not the time to take up smoking for stress relief, but if Oreos every day helps you get through, or dumb but addictive phone games, or binge watching reality tv, do it and don't feel guilty.

How did the ultrasound go?

They told me right after my ultrasound (which was right after my diagnostic mammogram) that I should schedule a biopsy. They didn't tell me and I didn't know to ask that my mammogram/ultrasound rating was Birads 5. That means that they believe it *is* cancer, but they need to biopsy it to be sure. (Even Birads 5 has false positives).

I had no inkling how serious it was, and I really didn't get spooked until the night before my biopsy. In retrospect, I think ignorance might have been bliss. On the other hand, I wish that I'd had someone to tell me after my biopsy that my malignant results didn't mean I should start planning my funeral. I was too scared to look on anything on the internet. It was my first meeting with an oncologist that really calmed my mind. It is so good you have found BCO. This is a great place for information and support. You can also send your family or friends here to read and research either to help you or to help them understand how to be supportive of you, or what's going on with you without needing to ask you questions you don't necessarily want to deal with.

If it is cancer, you will be opening a whole new book of learning. Tons of new vocabulary and acronyms. It's not really possible to know it all at once. Trust that you'll learn what you need when you need it. Some people are into becoming experts on it as fast as they can, other people would rather just ask their doctors what they feel they need to know. Both ways are fine. We each have to do this our own way.

Sending you

When I got the results of my mammogram, they scheduled me for an ultrasound "and biopsy if needed," which it was. All I had to do was sign a few forms and the biopsy was done in the same room. Very easy and low-stress.

I was selective in to whom I told the results of my biopsy. There were some people that I felt could not handle the news and would get too upset and I have not, to this day, told them. I did, however, focus on telling women so that they knew how important it was to go for regular mammographies as unfortunately there are still too many ladies who are afraid to go.