Diagnosis this morning

Maybish- As you already know the waiting stages are the worse. I am sorry you are going through this it really does suck. It will feel a bit better if you can imagine when you get more of a detailed picture of your pathology and come up with a plan. I took the advice I read on here and put together a binder. I included calendar pages to track all of my appointments, blank pages for questions I would think of to take to my appointments. I also included pockets for copies of my medical records, insurance statements, and reciepts. It was something that I could busy myself with that felt like I was doing something, that and deep cleaning my house multiple times Here are a couple of sites that might help with what questions to ask.

https://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/diagnosis/dr_questions

https://www.mybreastcancercoach.org/Prepare-for-Your-Appointment

Please do not hesitate to ask any questions you need to here. For your first appointment with your surgeon you will get so much information. If you have someone you could take with you to listen along and take notes it would be helpful. I have also heard of some people recording their visit on their phone. It is hard to keep all of it straight during that first visit, so it helps to have someone there. Best wishes to you.

Hi Maybish,

I am so sorry thay you are here, I am exactly a year apart from where you are today. I found my lump on 9th of March 2018. Its been quite a ride since. But that comes later. For now, breathe. Waiting is one of the worst parts.

Breathe, and frankly do what you feel like. Its okay to be emotional, sad, angry and all at the same time. Remove yourself from situations that aggravate you. Distract yourself. And please do NOT google.

Come over here to chat, watch netflix, pinterest whatever, do NOT google.

Google is for information purposes only. People recommend not going there because it’s easy to take the information to heart. While the diagnosis doesn’t necessarily apply to you it is helpful for research.Just remember BC is not one size, fits all.

Diane

Get your favorite candy, a box full of popcorn , favorite drink, your snuggle, dog, cat, husband , mom or sister. Don't forget favorite sad movie !! Have pity me night, because that's OK. Tomorrow is another day you'll deal with this tomorrow! Prayer and Love all around..

The message to 'be strong' where they mean 'act like nothing is going on' is a bunch of bs. Being strong means showing up for the tests, showing up for the appointments, showing up for the treatments, even when it's scary and nerve wracking and has unknowns and side effects. It means doing what you have to do to survive, keep a roof over your head, keep your health insurance. It shouldn't mean putting on an Oscar-worthy performance so other people can pretend the cancer doesn't exist. It shouldn't mean not crying when you feel like crying.

Sending supportive thoughts and repeating the mantra that it does get better.

Maybish- just want to add that of course it's ok if you cry it out, feel sorry for yourself and even get pissed off if that's what you are feeling. You have no obligation to “just be strong." There were ( and still are) days I felt pretty empowered and proud of getting through this, and days I just cried, and curled up on the couch and ate comfort food. It is ok to gently remind your friends and family that right now you just need them to meet you where you are emotionally and not place an expectation of how you should respond to this diagnosis. I have learned that sometimes people just don't know what to say. Gentle hugs to you and sending restful healing thoughts.

Edited to add, YES to everything Salamandra said so well!

Hi, Maybish -

I was 43 when diagnosed and this September will reach 5 years cancer free! I can't believe I've come this far. In ways, I still feel like a cancer patient as I still have so many appointments and testing (and I just found out I am on the 10 year follow-up plan rather than 5 years), but otherwise life is bak to normal. Good luck!

I've read your first post...there are many similarities between our situations..noticing the indent first, 44 years old, kids 15 and 11, breastfed. This was two years ago, and now I have days when I completely forget about it. You'll get to this stage before you know it. There are millions of women who've been through this. It is hard, but you'll make it and soon will put it behind you.

hello I am in the same situation as you last week. I am 43. 3 kids that is 8, 5, and 2. And I cried my heart out and many sleepless night after the diagnosed. It’s very stressful. The waiting game having a plan is nerve-wrecking for me. But today I finally met my surgeon. It gives you some kind of relief. It’s ok to let it all out. I did for sure. It’s hard to think positive but once a plan in place, we can be strong and fight this demon

to maybish and Sin28!

It is a haul but we support each other through,

Hey Sin28,

It's ok not to fully inform inform yourself all at once. You have time, and you don't need to be an expert at all if you don't want to be. If it's less stressful for you, it's really really ok to just trust your medical team and stick to the Cats topics or games topics here. When this board is stressing you out, take a break. Sending you big hugs from across the aether. You WILL find your way through this.

Whatever works for you for stress, do it. If it's playing silly phone games or exercising or eating cake or rewatching old movies, now is the time to treat yourself and not judge yourself. You can also ask your doctor for anti anxiety meds. I know Ativan was helpful for me around diagnosis and for a lot of other people. It can help with sleep too.

The 'what if' game is a killer! You still have time to decide. In fact, even if you go forward with the lumpectomy and decide six months later that you want a mastectomy, that's a possibility.

I bet that you still have options with Obamacare. Can you call a healthcare navigator or ask a friend who's good with paperwork to sit down and try to figure out some options? Does your cancer center have a social worker who might be able to help you? Many insurance companies *want* to pay for you to get a second opinion, since the course of cancer treatment is expensive for them, they'd rather pay a little more up front to make sure it's right the first time.

So sorry we are going thru this, You think you want results and then we get them and it's so unreal, So much to take in. But we will get over this HUMP!! I still can't believe what I heard on the phone a few hours ago.

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this.beep7bop, I was looking for you in the MS and BC site. Thinking of you and all that have had to face this diagnosis.