Breast Lump, Dime Size

I have worried myself into something akin to an anxiety attack with what’s going on.

The past month has been one thing after another. First it was a sinus infection then it was bronchitis acting up. And then I thought I was having a heart attack but it turned out to be a sprain due to overworking things. Suffice it to say, I am beyond paranoid about my health lately. I would even go so far as to say I have health anxiety.

I found a lump on the underside of my breast in the middle of the night. I immediately began to panic and google. That’s the worst idea ever. Anyone can tell you that. It only made me feel worse.

I am 28, overweight, and I typically wear a DDD in bra sizes. I don’t ever recall other lumps being on my breast but I will be honest and say I was never vigilant about checking until this year.

The lump isn’t that big. It’s about the size of a dime. It’s tender. Painful when I squeezed to get the size gist of it. It looks almost as if I bruised myself. But I don’t remember hurting myself there. I do have issues with my bras (my breasts are really big and heavy. So heavy, I have had issues with my shoulder because of them.) but I am just so scared. It almost looks like a pimple? It has a little white head on it. I don’t want to squeeze too much but I have no idea what’s going on

My great grandmother died. from breast cancer about a decade ago. It just kept coming back. My grandmother died from pancreatic cancer literally twenty four years ago. No one else in the family has had it besides them. But I’m afraid that it will be me that continues the cycle in my family.

My mother is 100% certain that it’s a cyst. And it frustrates her that I’m so paranoid that I won’t listen. I have an appointment with a doctor in two weeks. Hopefully she will point me towards somewhere I can get things looked at.

I don’t know what to expect posting here but getting it all out right here has been slightly therapeutic. I don’t know what is going to happen next. But I feel good to have found a place to spill this secret fear. Everywhere, I have to be strong. I have to pretend I trust in “maybe” and “I think”. But I don’t.