Can’t handle all the waiting

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wity-pity
wity-pity Member Posts: 8

About a month ago I felt a lump in my right breast. I kept bugging my husband about it and he said, “if you’re going to keep freaking out about it just go get it checked.” So I did last week. My OBGYB felt around and said that she definitely felt something, but wasn’t overly worried due to my age (36) and no family history. She sent me for a mammogram just to be safe, which I did yesterday. I honestly thought that I would go in, they would tell me it was nothing, and I could just be on my way. Instead, the doctor said that he was concerned and wanted to do a biopsy. I had the biopsy done today and he said again that he was concerned and that his best guess was that it is cancerous. I’m terrified. I get my results tomorrow and I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that I probably have cancer. How did I even get here? I have two little girls who mean everything to me. How can I do this to them? I’m so scared and all I want at this point is answers. What is this thing in my breast? How do I get rid of it and am I going to make it? And even if I do find out tomorrow that it is cancer, what’s next?

Comments

  • Marimac10
    Marimac10 Member Posts: 3
    edited February 2019

    I’m with you on the waiting game. My biopsy is March 11th.

    I don’t have insight or any words of wisdom for you but as a mama of 3 myself, I’m sending you all the hugs

  • wity-pity
    wity-pity Member Posts: 8
    edited February 2019

    thank you and good luck!!

  • pippy1963
    pippy1963 Member Posts: 36
    edited February 2019

    Wity-pity

    Take a deep breath I was in the same boat as you are 2 years ago. I know how you are feeling. Your world crashes down all around you. But my doctor gave me this advice. You are going to do what you need to do and get back to your life. One step at a time. You are entitle to feel what you feel. Good luck. If you need to talk we are all here with you.

    pippy

  • Salamandra
    Salamandra Member Posts: 1,444
    edited February 2019

    Hey wity-pity,

    I think many of us who were diagnosed at relatively younger ages have similar stories. My doctor found a lump, and sent me for further exams 'just in case.' Thank goodness our doctors were prudent!

    I will say that early stage cancer turned out to be much more manageable so far than I ever expected. The hardest part was the beginning, waiting for all the test results, and then waiting for more. But this board has been an incredible support.

    This part is so hard. Do what you need to get through. Therapy? Ativan? Exercise? Rest? Vacation? Work? Whatever helps you through the day.

    One thing I wish I understood better at the beginning was how incredibly unlikely it was that I would have metastasis (when the lump was discovered without any other symptoms and still pretty small) and how good the prognostic rates are for early stage cancer.

    It will be a tough haul, if it is cancer, but you will find your equilibrium and get through. You are not doing this 'to' your daughters, there are so many things in life we can't control and cancer is definitely one of them! You can set them an example of how one can face something scary, act through the fear, and stay loving and open. That can be a precious gift too.

  • beep7bop
    beep7bop Member Posts: 130
    edited February 2019

    am waiting for my biopsy on march 7 went for mammogram 02/07/2019   got call for more images 02/08/2019 says BI RADS 4C  the worry is awful

  • beep7bop
    beep7bop Member Posts: 130
    edited February 2019

    oh yes I am 68 years old


  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited February 2019

    Welcome, everyone! We know the waiting is hard, but we're all here for you. Please keep us updated on what you all find out!

    The Mods

  • blah333
    blah333 Member Posts: 270
    edited February 2019

    I was 35..... I didn't take my own family history seriously enough (mother, grandmother) and didn't expect to have a mammogram until 40. I was shocked when a doctor found a little bump on me. It will throw your world askew for awhile.

    But you can't do anything now but wait and see what information you get... at least your results seem quite quick. I had to wait 18 days between my mammogram and biopsy. Hell. Keep us posted. It may not be as bad as you think, however the mind sure does like to wander. I definitely imagined worst case scenarios etc.

  • wity-pity
    wity-pity Member Posts: 8
    edited February 2019

    Thank you so much Salamandra. It’s 4am and I just woke up panicked. Today is the day I get my test results and I don’t know how I am going to handle this. It’s one thing to assume it’s cancer and quite another to have that confirmed, I’m sure. It’s going to be a long day.

  • Natasha007
    Natasha007 Member Posts: 44
    edited February 2019

    I’m praying for you wity. When will results come in

  • wity-pity
    wity-pity Member Posts: 8
    edited February 2019

    I should get my results today

  • wity-pity
    wity-pity Member Posts: 8
    edited February 2019

    just received my results—stage 1 breast cancer. He said that it is grade 2, ductal, 1.6 cm. I will meet with the oncologist on Wednesday to make a game plan for surgery and treatment. Anyone had/have something similar

  • Natasha007
    Natasha007 Member Posts: 44
    edited February 2019

    Ok well now you know who's ass you have to kick. I really don't say that to lighten the situation but now you know your enemy. My best friend's niece has a website i think you should visit. http://christytibbets.simplesite.com

    Christy is young like you (34), with two boys and two girls and a full time job (preschool teacher). After the initial shock, she looked at her kids and said she has to kick cancer's ass and for them not to worry, because she is a big enough bitch to do it.

    She found out on a random Thursday this past November and had a double mastectomy on Monday. She has said that she's going to beat this and get it out of her life and she is doing it. She told her team that she wanted to go nuclear on this cancer and get rid of it once and for all. She is going at it with both barrels, take no prisoners. She is really inspirational and maybe in a few days you will get the strength to have some similar thoughts.

    I am sincerely sorry this is happening. I've been reading about all the dumb things people say when you tell them you have cancer and I hope this post doesn't wind up in that category. I'm writing up a prayer sheet right now for with-pity and my family will be praying big time.


  • Salamandra
    Salamandra Member Posts: 1,444
    edited February 2019

    That's basically my stats! Do you know your hormone receptors? That will make a big impact for treatment.

    For me the next step was to meet with a surgical oncologist at a Cancer Center in my city. It was a bit of legwork to get all my test results to her and also I had to wait almost two weeks for the appointment because I preferred a female doctor. That's great that you only have to wait a week.

    At that appointment, she was like the gateway doctor - she spent a lot of time explaining the diagnosis to me and the most likely treatment and prognoses. She recommended a lumpectomy+radiation for me, and said that the survival outcomes are statistically slightly more favorable with L+R in a case like mine than with mastectomy. For me that was a huge relief - but different women have different feelings. If I had been interested in a mastectomy she would have explored that option with me too.


  • wity-pity
    wity-pity Member Posts: 8
    edited March 2019

    Hi Salamandra—

    You have no idea how much your post means to me. It has helped me breathe a little easier tonight. I do not have the results for the hormone receptors yet, but I should have them when I meet with my oncologist on Wednesday. Can I ask you a couple of questions?? How many radiation treatments did you do? Was it awful? I see you’re also on the tamoxifen pills which I’ve read a lot about over the past few days...are they as awful as everyone says?

  • Georgia1
    Georgia1 Member Posts: 1,321
    edited March 2019

    Hi Wity-Pity and welcome. I am older than you (59) but with similar stats. The initial diagnosis was the worst for me - so shocking! But I found a great surgeon, had a lumpectomy, then radiation (very light side effects) then Tamoxifen. Please do ask us any questions! We are all here to help. In my case BC ruined six months of my life, but then I came out the other side and feel fine now. So hang in there and try to take it one step at a time. Sending you best wishes.

  • bridge2faith
    bridge2faith Member Posts: 10
    edited March 2019

    Prayers just said for you Wity Pity, Im in a bit of a waiting game and pray that all of this comes out benign, but if it doesn't than I see I have a great strength in my Faith, Family, Friends and now new strong friends on this site.  You are a fighter so now go kick BC Ass, healing thoughts to you.

  • beep7bop
    beep7bop Member Posts: 130
    edited March 2019

    If mine is the big BC I am going all out War. but I am 68 don't use them anyway and tired of the weight. Keep fighting everyone.. God Bless to all of you.

  • wity-pity
    wity-pity Member Posts: 8
    edited March 2019

    thank you all so much for all of your support!! It really has meant the world to me

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