DCIS in 2017, biopsy for swollen node missing fatty hilum

Thanks for the responses.

I feel much better after the biopsy than I did this week waiting for my appointment. The hilum was actually visible afterall, just not incredibly apparent. They also had trouble finding the swollen node, and there appeared to be two. Last month even I could spot the node easily on the screen and discern it from blood vessels etc. It must have moved or changed, especially now that my cold is waning away. Both the woman who did my last two ultrasounds (and helped do the US aspect of this biopsy) and the radiologist who took the samples did not seem too concerned. The tech brought up my last slides and said that there actually hadn't been much change from Oct to December, she just provided an extra point of view. The person who wrote the report also rounded up the size of the node from 4.5mm to 5mm. I was also surprised to learn that the cortical thickening is the aspect that alarms them more than the disappearance of the fatty hilum. I shouldn't have googled..... but I couldn't help it. Birads 4a is about 20% chance. The radiologist said he predicts it will come back as reactive nodes. I felt relief but of course am not out of the woods yet. I got my mind used to every possibility. Afterwards they did do a "mammogram" of my armpit. I didn't even know this was possible (I did not have reconstruction). That tech said cancer is visible in the axilla if it is extensive. So worse case scenario might not be so worse. Just typing this all out for some future worried woman who might do a search on this.

So I was just told I will need ANOTHER biopsy because it turned out that the samples they took were of muscle. Three samples..... none got my node. WTF. I'm fucking pissed. I do go to an educational hospital, but felt that the radiologist who did the biopsy was competent. This is so frustrating. My next appointment is in 3 weeks, so I probably won't know for an entire month. And I have to go through this whole fucking process again. Biopsies and waiting for the results are one of the worst experiences of my life. I could tell the nurse practitioner on the phone was a little annoyed at how "upset" I was. My life feels like it's on hold. I also need to be able to plan the next few months. This year has gotten off to a shitty start, now it's going to be clouded until at least mid-Feb. I'm so angry.

I had my second FNA biopsy today. It was so tedious, I was on the table for almost about an hour and a half. They took two samples but spent a long time trying to get the 3rd. I'm pissed, they made three different incisions. So now I have four marks on my body for "one" biopsy - four marks for two samples WTF... though I was watching the screen and am pretty sure the two samples they took today will be of the node and not muscle.

It's depressing, I have two swollen nodes now with cortical thickening... the one they took samples today was not the original node that they were monitoring that has been swollen this whole time, and this node seems bigger. This is odd to me but may also indicate that they fluctuate in size, so maybe that's a good thing vs. being malignant. But I won't know til around the 20th or so. Dreary. Blah day.

My results were benign. But what stress and such a long fucking wait to find out........ and on the phone the woman put me on hold for awhile after she brought up my file, I was bracing myself for bad news. I wish she just said "benign" vs. "no metastatic findings" -- it sounds better that way, ha.