My mom has a deep fear for chemo and refuses chemo

Mary, I had a bad reaction to my 1st and 2nd chemo’s but it’s very rare, like 2%. After my 3rd, I was really surprised by how well and normal I felt. I stayed active, which for me was key to avoiding fatigue. I worked every day except for the day of my infusion and even did my first 5k. It’s doable and not like it was many years ago. Everyone’s reaction is different and it did get tougher towards the end but I’d do it again, if needed. Good luck 😀

Mary - maybe your mom will agree to one infusion. If that goes okay, then she can go to the second one. The thought of doing six rounds of chemo was kind of overwhelming to me before I knew how I'd react to it, but just giving it a try didn't seem so daunting. I kept that mentality all the way through. I told myself if I got too sick or things got too bad after this infusion, I just wouldn't go to the next one. One round of chemo will only make you feel a little worse than you feel now. One round is totally doable.

You could also look for studies that are using non-chemo agents instead of chemo in women like your mom. There are some studies using CDK4/6 inhibitors instead of chemo on early breast cancer patients. But you would most likely have to travel for treatment. I traveled for part of my treatment, it gets really expensive. I don't know if that would be an option for you guys.

I worked through chemo, walked the dog, went to the gym regularly (although I had to push through a bit of tiredness at times), went to my regular yoga classes but cut back a bit. I had 5 months of infusions and during Taxol I was hiking after my infusions, before I went home for the day.

Point is not to brag but to share with your mom that we can function normally during chemo, pretty darn easily. Your hair falls out and you may be more tired than normal, but the immune boosting drugs like Neulasta really help us feel better, and there are so many tips to allieviate side effects along with drugs that can do that, too.

I never threw up once during chemo nor do I remember even being nauseated but I did lose weight because it did kill my appetite.

Could she talk to her oncologist and relay her fears? Maybe talk to a chemo nurse ahead of time? Knowledge and truthful information about the benefits of chemo might help. Sharing current, supported research might help her turn around her belief that chemo means death might help?

if she is in good health otherwise and assuming stage III diagnosis stays it would make all the sense to do chemo. You might discuss different types of chemo, pick one that is a bit easier to handle (no dose- dense for example.)

I worked a full-time job through chemo that was five years ago and have no long-term side effects