Waiting...
Hi I am new to this site. I am 51 years old and my nightmare began with a routine mammogram on January 2, 2019. Since then I was diagnosed with DCIS and I have had an MRI, biopsy, and numerous amounts of mammograms. I had a lumpectomy on February 18, and I am currently waiting for the pathology report. I am scared to death of what I have read about margins, DCIS turning into invasive once the surgeon gets in there to do the lumpectomy, and other scary facts.
I don't want to die. I am so worried and cannot calm down. I do have ativan and prozac but I am still suffering from high anxiety.
Can anyone help me out there to calm down? Is there any reassuring news? I am so scared of the pathology report coming back with metastatic breast cancer?? Can that be possible?
Thank you for your help.
Comments
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Hi rbh, so sorry that you're here, but glad that you've found this place, you'll find a lot of support and good information here.
This part is the hardest, I promise - the waiting, the not-knowing, the not-having-a-plan-yet, but once you have more information and you know just what's going on and how to tackle it, it'll be easier to cope.
(It's easy for me to say this now, more than a year after my own diagnosis, and hindsight is always 20/20, but I was definitely in crisis-mode when I got my diagnosis 15 months ago when I was 32, so I totally get where you're coming from.)
I was terrified and panicked when I got the news, too, I was a wreck, and not only that, but after my own lumpectomy, I had to wait longer than usual for the results because of the Christmas holidays, it was awful! The waiting really is the worst part, we've all been there, but it will get better.
Remember to be good to yourself now, do what you need to do to get through these tough early days, find things (and people!) that cheer you up and make you happy, don't beat yourself up too much for having a hard time (we all do!), and if you're really struggling and it's seriously affecting your life, don't be afraid to ask your doctor for help (start with your GP, or whoever has prescribed your anxiety meds). Your cancer centre may offer patient counseling, so you can always ask for help there, also, they specialize in just this sort of thing.
Oh, and stay away from Dr. Google!! Nothing good comes from random Googling, trust me, it'll just give you nightmare fuel, and so much of the information out there is outdated and inaccurate. Do yourself a favour and stay away from it.
And don't be afraid to ask questions on here, we're all here to help.
*hugs*
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Thank you very much. I appreciate all of the advice. I just want to know that it is treatable and I’m going to be ok. You are very sweet and I hope things are going well for you now. Love.
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Anxietygirl has given you some great thoughts already. I wanted to let you know that you are not alone and that the way you are feeling is totally normal. It is very easy to think the worst especially when waiting on something like surgical pathology, but I really think that since the biopsy showed DCIS and not invasive cancer that your chance of some sort of metastasis is extremely low at this point.
My nightmare happened a little under 4 months ago. It started with a routine mammogram as well. It seems so far away now. I’m now living my life pretty much normally (aside from my crazy fake boobs which I do actually forget about sometimes lol). Just 4 months later!!! Once you have your plan you will feel so, so much more in control. Try not to predict anything more or worse than what you already know...there’s no reason to! I hope you get your results very soon!
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Welcome, rhb123! We are so sorry you find yourself here, but we hope you find support in this community. As AnxietyGirl said, this part of the hardest - there are so many unknowns while you wait for information, and it's so hard not to worry and go to the worst case scenario! Once you have all the information about your diagnosis and there's a plan in place, you will start to feel more in control. But we're here for you!
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