Depression

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Carolehebert
Carolehebert Member Posts: 14
edited April 2019 in Stage III Breast Cancer

I was diagnosed stage 3 9 positive noses in October 2011 i did all the treatment and take Tamoxifen for the last 7 years.I also take Effexor and see a psychologist every 2 weeks.I just don’t know why i still feel constantly depressed,i cry every night in hidding and feel very bad about it no one would know anything as i am always smiling and joking around but deep down im a wreck.Im always waiting for the shoe to drop or maybe it would take me out of my constant pain

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  • santabarbarian
    santabarbarian Member Posts: 3,085
    edited February 2019

    Carole, I am sorry you have been feeling so low. Are you able to share everything (like hiding to cry, and feeling constantly depressed) with your therapist? Is there a family member or close friend you could trust? Is there a group for post treatment cancer patients in your town, or at the center where you were treated? It might help to share your feelings with people who know *exactly* what you have been through. Meanwhile, this forum is a great place to get support. Post your darkest thoughts and feelings, and you will receive support here!

    I do not struggle with depression but I was often frustrated at "appearing" to be more fine than I actually felt, and people underestimating how difficult the treatment was and expecting too much of me. The disconnect between how it looks and how it feels can be hard to deal with.

    I would also focus on everything you can do to prevent recurrence since this seems like a big fear. Are you eating low animal fat/high colorful vegetables? Are you exercising 30 mins a day? These are two things that correlate with low recurrence rates. Exercise also boosts mood.

    I hope you get more support soon. (((Hugs)))

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  • voraciousreader
    voraciousreader Member Posts: 7,496
    edited February 2019

    carole...who is prescribing the Effexor? Sadly, I have a lot of experience with depression. The DH has suffered from it due to a medical condition as well. I will say that among all the illnesses that the DH and I have had, and there have been many, suffering from depression and finding the right treatment has been the hardest. That said, the DH is well. So, I hope that gives you assurance that despite your breast cancer diagnosis, you CAN feel well again.


    Like the other poster said, I am mostly in agreement. I know exercise and choosing healthy foods is a good idea...but you shouldn’t feel guilty if you aren’t making those choices on a consistant basis. I am slender, eat well and exercise, my beloved sister is 100 lbs overweight and guess who got the breast cancer.....


    My most sincere advise is to treat yourself gently. But also remember, finding your new normal takes guts and determination. Call the psychologist tomorrow and tell them you would like a recommendation for a PSYCHIATRIST. Then, work with the psychiatrist. Sometimes one needs to be VERY PATIENT with the psychiatrist until you find the right med and the right dosage.


    And my final word is don’t be afraid that you will never feel better again. Tell yourself that YOU WILL FEEL BETTER. When you lay your head on the pillow at night and your mind WANTS to go to a dark place, tell yourself life will be beautiful again. It will.


    The bottom line....most of us survive a cancer diagnosis. However, if we let those cancer demons control our lives, then the cancer wins. As long as we are alive and we can laugh and love, even if it is just a drop at first, then we do the winning.....

    I wish you well


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  • santabarbarian
    santabarbarian Member Posts: 3,085
    edited February 2019

    One more thought: neurofeedback can be a huge help to depression. Neuroptimal is the system I am familiar with. Some times our brains get into thinking patterns and ruts and neurofeedback helps those Right Brain autopilot patterns to change.

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  • mpv459
    mpv459 Member Posts: 114
    edited April 2019

    I need help so badly and I don't know here to turn. I am scared, depressed and lonely even with people all around. I cry at the drop of a hat. I had surgery April 1 and my arm hurts so badly where they did the aux dissecition. I am supposed to get a port next Friday and begin chemo sometime after that.. How do you rise out of this depression?? How do you quit obsessing about recurrance?? How do I get through this?? I am so scared and nothing makes it better. I wish I could find people around me to talk to who understand where I am but I cannot seem to find support groups in my area. I am on ativan. If anyone has any advice please share. I hate this disease.

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  • LaughingGull
    LaughingGull Member Posts: 560
    edited April 2019

    mpv, I also had axillary dissection, yes it hurts at the beginning but it will pass. Can your oncologist prescribe physical therapy? I went to a therapist specialized in breast cancer and lymphedema and I improved quickly by getting the therapy and doing all the exercises they recommended -and some. Also, I got the surgery in April last year and I used to go out to walk, taking advantage of the nice weather. One month after the surgery I was swimming backstroke again.

    You may get better once you start chemo, you will feel that you are actively doing something to beat this crap. Exercise, even if very gentle, especially outdoors, will help your moods.

    And can the onc refer you to a psychiatrist in your cancer center? Mine had one and it was very useful to me, they also have supportive services such as meditation groups and other groups. Can you talk to a social worker in the hospital that can connect you with the appropriate services?

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  • LaughingGull
    LaughingGull Member Posts: 560
    edited April 2019

    BTW I was a wreck too until I started chemo

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  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited April 2019

    mpv - bless your heart we can all relate to the depression. How could you not be? BC is a tough DX to accept.

    Our cancer clinic has a counselor who specializes in all the emotions that come with this DX no matter what stage or grade although Stage IV patients require and need more intense counseling understandably so.

    I joined a group at my church. It’s a great support group. Everyone is so nice and helpful. It’s like group therapy. Maybe there is one in your area.

    I found keeping as busy as possible helped me tonot dwell on my DX. It’s hard I know but as time went by I focused less and less on it. I was DX in 2011.

    You are so early in the process. It’s gets better I promise you. We are all hear to help in any way we can.

    Diane

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