These hormone blockers

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Aj1970
Aj1970 Member Posts: 15
edited February 2019 in Hormonal Therapy - Before, During, and After

Greeting to all! A little background. I was diagnosed last year in May. Had lumpectomy at the end of May. My onco test came back at a 19. Original ONC wanted me to do 4 rounds of chemo which prompted me to get a second opinion. Second opinion told me to get rads and take tamoxifen. Due to health conditions, my primary doctor would rather I not take that. So next Monday I get my ovaries removed so I can take the other. my tumor was 1.5 cm and er/pr+ her-. Micromets in a node. Small.

I'm a worrier by nature which brings me to ask this question... it's been almost a year. When does the worry let up? I'm not sleeping good. I wake up thinking about this. Go to bed thinking about this. Google n research constantly which further worries me with things I find. The more research I do, the more I think I should have went ahead and got chemo. My main concern is my teenage daughter. She already lost her dad. I just get beside myself thinking about leaving her and if I made the right decision. At the time I felt good with it after talking to them. Now, I'm not sure. My dr's have me on antivan but in all honesty, it doesn't help with this worry. It doesn't help with sleep either. I was up off n on all night last night. Worrying. Mind going everywhere. Ugggg.

I've learned a lot off this site and lurk daily reading. But something has to give with this fear. I find myself with anything I do or places I go saying to myself.. you better go do it. You might not be here next time to do it.

Please someone tell me this goes away. What can I do diff to stop thinking about it constantly?

Thanks,


Aj

Edited to add, I’m such a dingbat I forgot to ask what I came here to ask.. my obgyn wants to put me on testosterone pellets that have a hormone blocker in them. Anyone have experience with this?

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  • farmerlucy
    farmerlucy Member Posts: 3,985
    edited February 2019

    Good morning. Sorry you are having such a hard time. It does take awhile for things to settle down in our minds. You have been through a lot. Go easy on yourself. Did you know that a good percentage of us suffer from PTSD like symptoms? Generally this presents after active treatment ends. My brother is an onc. He recommended anti anxiety meds, an antidepressant and counseling. Seven years later I’m still on the antidepressant. Talk to you onc or your PCP. I found counseling through my church. Does your hospital have a nurse navigator or a social worker who can point you in the right direction?

    Be extra careful with yourself emotionally after your ooph. I had my ooph at 55 and it still was no picnic. Are you able to get much exercise? Exercise has been a lifesaver for me. It clears out all cobwebs in my mind for a bit.

    I’m so glad you found us. I hope others chime in soon.

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  • Aj1970
    Aj1970 Member Posts: 15
    edited February 2019

    Thank you for the positive input. I was thinking of looking into getting therapy. I think talking about this will help since I never do.

    I’m worried over this surgery also and what effects it will have also. I went around and around about having this done also. They tried lupron first and it cause my blood pressure to spiral out of control. No decision is an easy one. But they found a 4.5cm cyst on one so they need to go.

    I do exercise. I do anything I can to keep my mind busy. Night time is the worse for me.

    Aj

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  • bgirl
    bgirl Member Posts: 538
    edited February 2019

    Aj . Worry is a natural state for a lot of women and cancer makes it worse for most. I can tell you that, as cliche as sounds, you will find worry doesn't change much. My MO told me that you can worry about it coming back for 10 years or not worry about it for 10 years - the results will be the same. The only difference is how many years you let fear steal from your life. If you did only have 10 more years, how would you want to spend it?? That said, it took me about 2 years to wrap my head around the concept and put worry in a better place.

    If you find worry is taking up too much of your life, reach out. I'm am working with the social worker at my hospital to sort out my worries this time. What can I control and what I can't and how to put worry in its place.

    Meds are not evil if you need them either temporarily or long term. If they help you regain quality of life they may be worth discussing. Nights can be difficult and you may experience some insomnia after your ooph that can make it worse. The upside is that's how I met an amazing group of women on BCO, in the middle of the night.

    Remember whatever you're feeling is normal. Take good care of yourself.

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  • Salamandra
    Salamandra Member Posts: 1,444
    edited February 2019

    Hi AJ1970,

    For what it's worth, based on the new TailorX study, it seems to me that you likely would NOT have been recommended for chemo with an oncotype of 19. Also, doctors are now speculating that whatever tiny improvement chemo does seem to provide in the 11-26 score range for women under 50 may actually be from the estrogen/menstrual suppressing impact of chemo rather than from its direct impact on cancer. By having an oophorectomy and AI, you are getting all that benefit! You made an informed and thoughtful decision, which is the best anyone can do anyway, and look, the new research results show that you actually likely made the best possible decision.

    It is a lot of responsibility to be a mom to a daughter who already lost one parent, and you've been through so much already. It makes total sense to me that anxiety would be hitting you now. In my experience, anxiety can be a bit misdirecting. I mean that, you can be feeling anxiety about cancer recurrence, but it is actually sort of channeling a mix of other feelings, fears, anger, regrets about other parts of your life. So the anxiety is an excellent signal that some things in your life need more loving attention, but 'solving' it could need a more creative and open approach. Ie., all the statistics and studies in the world won't help if there is really other stuff going on.

    I think therapy is a great idea, and maybe see whether your daughter might be interested too. We can all use a little extra support!

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  • Aj1970
    Aj1970 Member Posts: 15
    edited February 2019

    Good evening!

    I want to thank everyone for taking the time to reply and for your advice. I am sorry I haven’t been back for a few days. On my “good” days I try to stay away from reading and researching hoping I can enjoy the day without thinking about it. In all honesty, it seems something new comes up daily to either think or worry about. 🙄

    I’m grateful I found this board and all the things I’ve learned. And especially all the advice. Thank you again.


    Aj



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  • MexicoHeather
    MexicoHeather Member Posts: 365
    edited February 2019

    AJ : Yes, there's always going to be things that remind you of Breast Cancer. I think you have gotten very good advice so far. You could try a little xanax, but behavioral modification can work. For instance, you can wear a special ring or bracelet, your Peaceful Good Decision Bracelet. When you start to worry, touch bracelet, say, "No. I made a good decision, moving forward now." Or some kind words for yourself. It takes awhile to get the AI medication right. Hang in there and welcome to the Ooph Club.💜

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