Is anyone else an atheist with BC besides me?

SoCal - I think that's definitely true, and likely true also for many theists. There are religious people who do because they believe their god demands it and others who would just do good anyway.

So Cal - I'm not disagreeing with you about that for nontheists - I think I have, too. I'm just thinking theists aren't a homogeneous group when it comes to whether their reward/punishment system is internalized or externalized.

I was more talking about reward system. Some people need praise. For me it's just the doing of it.

Like say a newborn doesn't reward you for changing his diaper.

Some people like getting medals or certificates to say how great they are. Going up a corporate ladder; getting one more stripe in the Navy. Etc.etc.

Getting a 5 year pin for volunteer work or simply someone saying thank you..

Nice but not necessary.

Yes, this explanation of altruism is one that philosophers and psychologists have shown to be true. One more amazing thing that biology and evolution have added to our Heinz-57 of human attributes! And, thank heavens. Looking out for others and community-mindedness and kindness are cornerstones of human society. Human society atits best, that is....

Looking at the science of empathy, mirror neurons mean that we literally can feel the feelings of people whose pain or joy we witness. So maybe we help a struggling person to alleviate our own distress, when witnessing their pain or trouble. But that's the way empathy works.

I do get a little POd when my grandchildren don't send thank yous but it is a matter of good manners not being taught at home.

TB90, I can understand how your empathy and compassion can become almost a burden to you.  I hope it helps to know that you are not alone in this.  There is this excellent essay called "Head and Heart Together".  Here is a snip.

"Of these four emotions, goodwill (mettā) is the most fundamental. It’s the wish for true happiness, a wish you can direct to yourself or to others....

The next two emotions in the list are essentially applications of goodwill. Compassion (karuṇā) is what goodwill feels when it encounters suffering: It wants the suffering to stop. Empathetic joy (muditā) is what goodwill feels when it encounters happiness: It wants the happiness to continue. 

Equanimity (upekkhā) is a different emotion, in that it acts as an aid to and a check on the other three. When you encounter suffering that you can’t stop no matter how hard you try, you need equanimity to avoid creating additional suffering and to channel your energies to areas where you can be of help. In this way, equanimity isn’t cold hearted or indifferent. It simply makes your goodwill more focused and effective."

Lisa: I agree too. For awhile I mailed presents or gift cards. Now if I send anything besides a card, it's a check. That way I know if the check is cashed, they received the present.

One time I asked a nephew at age about 14 who lived on the other side of the country if he'd received a B-day card I sent. He said - "oh yeah, but there was no money enclosed." He said it was a 'rule' that aunts had to send money and why did I bother to even send a card if there was no money? Needless to say I responded that I wouldn't bother him by sending a card again.

Minus2- a few years ago I notified my nieces and nephews if they did not acknowlege my card or money in a 1 year span, I will not send any more checks. I will continue to send cards because I believe in setting an example. I send cards and checks(small ones) for every major holiday-Valentines, St.Pats, Easter, July 4th, Halloween, Thanksgiving and XMas. They didnt care about the card but they cared about the money. Its poor manners. Face to face, they all, well most, have good manners.

I have sad news. My dear friend passed away this evening. She did not suffer as per the doctor. Saturday, she was talkative and painfree. Im happy my last words to her was I love you and Im taking good care of your dog. She told me she loved me and as soon as she is home from the hospital she wants Bella Her doctor stated the cancer had went to her lungs and brain. She died less than 1 year from her reoccurence.. She had DCIS 7 years ago and had lumpectomy and radiation. She had a wonderful 7 years prior to the reoccurence. She could not tolerate the Chemo. Im rambling. Im going to have a good cry. She was not religious but believed in "people being kind to others"

Jo I am so sad to hear your news. I hope that remembering your friend in happier times will help you in the days to come. ❤️

I'm so sorry for your loss, Jo. I lost a dear friend to breast cancer a little over a year ago and I still miss her terribly. I hate this horrible disease.

Trish

Jo, I am so sorry for your loss. But how nice that your last conversation was so loving, and that you'll have that memory to cherish.

Jo- So sorry for your loss, I lost my closest friend to BC a while ago, before I go it, cancer sucks man. Hugs to you.

This short essay always gives me comfort when someone I love dies. 

Ananda: And others here. Your knowledge of everything and your ability to support your knowledge with documentation, research and experience has me in absolute awe. It is such a gift to experience such brilliant and sensitive women. I go on my long walks in the snowfall and often think about your words of wisdom.