Emotional rollercoaster
Hi again,
I'm 5 days post op lumpectomy. I told my surgeon, take all you need for the margins so I don't have to go back in. He said if I see anything suspicious, it's coming out. My incision is 4 inches long and pretty much the same for the sentinel node. He told my surgeon it went well and the nodes were clear. I only saw the PA the next day and he really didn't tell me anything other than we have to wait for the pathology results.
I have 10 days till I see the surgeon and 11 days till I see the hemotologist/oncologist and then the radiologist oncologist. The waiting is the worst part. I find that I'm fine and then all of a sudden I burst into tears. The thinking was I would have radiology and then hormone therapy. The hemotologist wanted to do the oncodx test but I'm not sure if he did. I am ER/PR +, Her2/neu- but the Ki67 was 18%.
Are the emotions normal like this...plus I read about a study where people who had radiation had a strong chance of getting leukemia...so now I'm questioning everything.
Any help is greatly appreciated!!!
Comments
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Your emotions are perfectly normal. The waiting is really the worst part because you really don’t know exactly what you are facing. The Path report will be the tell all. I had a lumpectomy too but I did have an additional surgery to even the margins. That’s apparently very common.
I had radiation too and have not heard about it possibly causing leukemia. There are of course possible/probable side effects. I had a bit of burning and fatigue halfway through the treatments but that was expected. Long term exposure could result in lung scarring. I was willing to take that chance because I dodged chemo because of a low Oncotype score of 11. The test usually takes 2 weeks to get the results.
It sounds silly but try to be calm and stay busy. Once the next step is scheduled the process should move quickly.
It will be okay. We are all proof of that. Btw I’m 7 years out last August.Keep us posted.
Diane
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Oh my gosh, honey it is perfectly normal to have that reaction! I'm sure all of us did. I had a couple of meltdowns, that baffled my poor husband! I was going along, all calm and cool, to shop for a wig, due to my upcoming chemo. For some reason, the whole thing hit me then with the reality of the diagnosis. I ran out of the shop, bawling, into the car where hubby was waiting. He wanted to go confront the shop owner, he said to me ,what did she do?! I couldn't even speak! I'm not a cryer, so my husband was horrified. The fear of the unknown is the worst, you will settle down once you know what to expect. I went through all the menu treatmentwise, and am doing GREAT! So allow your emotions, but know you'll be feeling more in control soon!💗
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It’s totally normal! You have been through a lot physically and emotionally. The waiting stinks for sure. My final biopsy results were back in a week. My surgeon called with the results, and reviewed them in person at my post op appointment 2 weeks after. I had radiation treatments also. My radiation oncologist reviewed all the possible side effects with me, from common to rare, and I don’t remember anything about leukemia. Good luck - I’ll be thinking of you!
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Yes, you are going through what we all did, and you are not alone. We are here and we have your back. If your anxiety is getting to you - and it sounds like it is - ask for something! I was on Xanax 2 days after my diagnosis and now I'm on Zoloft. I will probably be on it forever and I really don't care. It keeps me pretty calm and when I feel myself working up into a meltdown, I take a half of the Zoloft and that helps. Just remember - you don't have to be a hero!
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Edwards750, thanks for your reply. It helps just to put it out there. Some days are just better than others. On top of that which I didn't mention, a few days after my diagnosis, my middle son called to tell me his wife was just diagnosed with DCIS. She's 37 with two little ones. DBl mx scheduled for the 15th. It was a lot to take in to say the least. This site is a Godsend...thanks for being there!
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Oceanlove - oh no so sorry about your DIL. BC is epidemic but the treatments have improved drastically since I was DX in 2011. My SIL had DCIS over 10 years ago. She’s doing fine.
This website was my lifeline from the getgo. After all who knows better than us what it’s like to be a member of the C group. There is a wealth of information and experiences here. Almost always even though it’s not one size, fits all, there is someone who can relate to your personal experience.
Take a deep breath. There are multiple links here that can address your concerns. We are all here to help. Keep the faith.
Diane
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Thanks everyone for your kind words...it means so much to me. My pathology came back today...Stage 1B, grade 2 but the nodes and margins are clear. They are doing an oncotype dx test to determine risk of recurrence and if I'll need chemo, radiation or just hormone therapy. I feel so blessed right now...still reading, still learning but let the healing begin! Thanks again for everyone who took the time to write and just for this site!
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