Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Good to know before you go out and the smog triggers an asthma attack. Better safe.

Dreary here today. Rained overnight and some left-over is still here. I think ( sure hope ) it will abate by this afternoon. You might know -- its a hair day for me. Well, we will see. I have to take another gal with me, so I'll let Beth know that I have a cold and she can decide whether to do me or put it off till another time. It is soooo rare for me to get a cold. First one ( though I did have bad bronchitis a bit over a yr. ago now ) since we moved back home here over 20 yrs. ago. I'm feeling fine right now -- haven't noticed any true drop in energy, but I have been going to bed a lot earlier -- by 8 p.m. and sleeping at least 8 to 9 hrs. the past couple of days. So, thinking ( fingers crossed and hoping ) that it is the five day kind and will vanish as easily as it seemed to have appeared.

Happy Birthday to your Mom, Carole. I guess at 96 you can feel and do just about anything you want. I think a lot of dentists still make dentures per your description Carole. Even my Dh has that done and he was never happy. From his description I would say they end up too big usually. I have an upper denture but the bottom is me. I found after the stoke I had that the denture was bigger, rather than the nearly perfect fit I once enjoyed. A lot of dental glue ( Polident ) helps me with the issue but only saying I can relate.

Again -- hope your Mom has a great birthday. I envy you that you have a Mom to have a birthday party for, but we don't choose the time for ourselves or anyone else. Just nice to live vicariously inside your' Mom ' experiences.

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
- Lao Tzu

You would be miserable here. According to the news a few days ago, we've had 176 days of rain here. Raining today with some wind predicted this afternoon. Now you know why my raincoat is bright magenta for winter and turquoise for summer.

One Thanksgiving DH made a grocery list. Neither of us could read the final item so we ended up cruising the store trying to remember what it might be. His handwriting has not improved since then.

Hi all,

Sorry I've been out of touch for so long. Lots of traveling, but not mine. My daughter in Atlanta flew down and we drove to Lake Placid to visit the kids. The little one (2 1/2yrs old) was allowed to stay overnight at the hotel with us. She was a true delight. We asked her often if she wanted to go to see Mommy or Daddy, but she was very content at the hotel, which eventually became "her hotel". She couldn't understand why we couldn't just stay at her hotel forever. I told her I had to go home to feed the dogs and she said Tracy and Doug could do that. Then I told her that the hotel cost $100/night. She thought for a minute then said, "Grandma, that's crazy" ( She doesn't know a penny from a dollar). We fixed her hair every day, keeping the bangs that are growing out clipped off her face. We had no tantrums at all, but the night before we left, we went out to eat with Mommy. Boy did her behavior change! She had one tantrum after another ( Nancy took her out of the restaurant till she calmed down). When they came back it, the tantrums stopped, but she kept trying to bite and hit her sister. She screamed her bloody head off all the way home (30-40 minute drive). We know it was because Mom was there, because we had eaten out every night and she didn't misbehave at all. My daughter and I were very worried about the Mom, big time though. She was an empty body- very stressed, but totally shut down. It reminded me of her behavior when she was 16 and witnessed a friend get shot in the head. Just blank and emotionless. She initiated no conversation, and responded to our attempts to engage her with a dull yes or no, no elaboration at all. She usually confides in Nancy, but nothing this time, even when they were alone. Not a great visit.

Nancy flew home Tues, my brother flew out to his family in NC on Wed, and Fri, my first cousin, who lives about 2 hrs away, arrived and stayed till Sun afternoon. She and I are very close in so many ways, I call her my "identical cousin". We had a great time.

I have to tell you though, that I did not enjoy the holidays at all this year. Thanksgiving, it was just me, the daughter I live with, and her 16 yr old son. For Christmas, her son went to his father's family as he has done since the divorce many years ago. Everything I heard, every decoration I saw, just reminded me just how much the holidays have changed for me. I couldn't help comparing now with the past. Christmas was such an exciting time then. The shopping, the wrapping, the cooking were all so much fun. Even when the kids moved out to start their own families, it was great. Some of us would go to my daughter's place to watch their boys open gifts early in the morning, joined by my SIL's parents, and my divorced daughter's MIL. After gifts, Nancy provided breakfast for all. Then everyone headed home to give Nancy's in-laws some alone time with the boys, then everyone (except Tracy's son and her MIL) came to our house for dinner. A loud, happy, fun dinner.

This year, Tracy and I ate Christmas dinner watching TV. I think the most depressing part for me was that my youngest son, who still lives locally just could not find the time to come by for Thanksgiving or Christmas. That really hurt, especially since the last time he was here, HE said he realized he had to reconnect with his family. Even church was disappointing. Because we are so few in number, the minister, who lives more than 2 hrs away, could only do a morning service at 10:00 Christmas Eve.A nice service, but not what I remember Christmas Eve's to be.

Christmas for me was the 26th.Tracy had taken the day off to take down all the decorations. Instead, we finally heard from Jamie, who seemed much more herself, saying she was off Wed, and we could come to Lake Placid to exchange gifts. We brought plenty of left overs from our Christmas dinner. We ended up bringing the two older kids home with us for at least a week. My kids in Ga and SC FaceTimed us when their kids were opening gifts, but it just isn't the same. The boys in GA are 17 and almost 20- gone are the days when there was real excitement at opening gifts, and the 2 little girls 5 and 2 ½, were excited, but we saw more of the ceiling than we did of them. The depression I went thru this year has made me realized that I would be totally fine with celebrating the birth of Jesus, but I have no need for all the secular decorations, and hoopla. Tracy felt bad, but I told her that I would have been just as sad had I been at any of my kids, because all I could think about all the family that wasn't there. It was comforting to hear that my neighbor was just as depressed as I was, her kids ended up working Christmas Day. They didn't celebrate at all till the next day. I have to admit that I was jealous to hear that they ended up with over twenty people for dinner. New Years Eve have never been a big night for us, so I am not worried about that, plus we will have 2 grandchildren with us.

Hope your holidays went well for the rest of you, and sorry for being such a downer, but I wanted to let you know why I have been MIA for so long.

Anne

Anne, it sounds like you did have struggles this yr. for the holidays. Change is difficult and more so as we get older. Sometimes there aren't good answers. I have wondered many times why I have had to go through some things to grow. It seems to work out in the end. Still there can be periods ( long or short ) where it doesn't seem to make sense and is indeed un-inviting and dour. I hope life will brighten for you soon. I wish I had better words of comfort, but I fall back on knowing that the best way through something is right down the middle.

Deer are wandering around in the yard this morning looking for ? tidbits. Not sure, but they are all it seems, taking a turn at one of my big planters that is covered in fall leaves. I think they are nosing most of those aside to get to the green plant below. The deer are roughly the same color as the leaves -- and not the rich lt. brown of spring and summer. They are beautiful no matter what color they are.

I hope you all have a good Saturday. Looking forward to starting the new yr. Hoping to be over this cold by then, but not because we have anything planned At our age we are mainly homebodies -- un-like many of our younger yrs. There is comfort for me in this. Funny how when you are younger you can't always get much of a vision of letting go of some of the activities that just HAVE to be a part of life. This one is so easy to discard. Again -- hope you are all going to have a fine day.

Note: I still haven't remembered what I needed at Walmart. Going to have to go today though -- recall or not. I do know we are running out of the 'stash' of Kleen-x that I keep on hand -- so for one reason or other I will have to go today. Have also not wanted to go out much for the fact of sharing my germs. I do recall last time I was at Walmart they had run out of those tissues that you can use to wipe down your cart -- which I always do. Maybe that is where this cold orginated.

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded.
It's a relationship between equals.
Only when we know our own darkness well
can we be present with the darkness of others.
Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.
- Pema Chodron

Compassion and empathy are not pity.

Cold gets me so bad. I am drinking mint tea. The mint came from my garden, I ground it up fresh in my $5 smoothie maker, then froze it in an ice cube tray. Two cubes to two quarts. It is so much better than dried, which I also have for the second half of the winter.

What a gray, gloomy day so far. I developed a sinus drip sore throat last night so the hot coffee is soothing the rawness as I swallow it. I have some food preparation jobs this morning. Tonight we're serving another couple a New Year's Eve dinner that I hope they will enjoy. It was all dh's idea not to go out to a restaurant. I went along since they have hosted us a number of times at their house and we have not reciprocated.

There was a time when we invited people to dinner but at some point I decided it was too much work and not so enjoyable for me. Now we tend to go out to a restaurant and split the bill.

Wishing everyone a safe celebration on New Year's Eve. I expect our guests to be gone early enough for us to be in bed before midnight. There will be a lot of racket with fireworks in nearby neighborhoods. Some people spend hundreds of dollars on fireworks.

Raw & rainy here--in fact, pouring. In an hour we're walking 4 bl. to Cellars to host dinner for 9, then walking back here. Thank goodness I was able to score some waterproof boots just before the shoe store closed. We got about 2" of sticking snow over the weekend, but the rain washed it all away. My deck is "ponding" (the contractor who built it didn't leave enough room between the planks, and our gutters seem to be funneling the water on to it). Bad enough when it's "only" rain, but when it freezes it'll be all ice. Our gutter-cleaning service is almost 2 months behind due to early freezes in Nov., and I'm hoping that once the gutters are cleaned the water will go elsewhere. Otherwise, we're going to have to drill some strategic holes.

Not bright ( sun would be so appreciated ) this this morning but no rain or fog. We won't ( fingers crossed ) get any either for a while. Mainly due to it being back in a range of colder temps. for a week or so. So far, it has been a strange winter, but I did hear that we would have an El' Nino winter so we certainly seem to be having that in spades. Mainly warmth ( often still cold to me ) and rain rather than bracing cold and snow.

Hoping we all are able to start the new year on if not a high note, at least a nice note. We don't know the future, but I'm much more an optimist and have been most of my life, so feeling positive that we will get a good harmony going and make good strides.

It's supposed to wait until 5pm to rain tomorrow. I'm glad because my friend's husband's funeral is at 11:00. I can still remember how awful it was to put someone in the ground when it was raining hard. The rain will continue through the weekend once it begins.

Take time to laugh.
It is the music of the soul.
Take time to think.
It is the source of power.
Take time to play.
It is the source of perpetual youth.
Take time to read.
It is the fountain of wisdom.
Take time to pray.
It is the greatest power on Earth.
Take time to love and be loved.
It is a God-given privilege.
Take time to be friendly.
It is the road to happiness.
Take time to give.
It is too short a day to be selfish.
Take time to work.
It is the price of success.
- Anonymous