Mom just got diagnosed with Breast cancer.

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Jenniferstrong
Jenniferstrong Member Posts: 1
edited December 2018 in Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results

Hello all. I'm writing to all of you because I'm sick to my stomach with stress regarding my mom. Last week my mom had a dry cough, and then she couldn't breathe. Of course my mom and I assumed she was sick, or had pneumonia. I took her to urgent care, and when they took her vitals they told my mom she needed to go to the ER. I didn't want to take any chances and neither did she, so I rushed her to the nearest hospital. She had an X-ray and ct scan done, and when the doctor came in he was like "ok after that ct scan I think we have a better idea of what this is, this looks like breast cancer. Your entire left lung is surrounded by fluid." So she was admitted into the hospital. We had no idea it would then turn into an 8 day stay filled with hopelessness and anxiety. My mom had to have two Thoracentesis procedures done to drain fluid, and a biopsy. They tested the fluid for malignancy, and it was in fact positive...so being her daughter I googled like crazy. Everything I've seen says this is not a good sign, that the pleural effusions usually signal serious cancer. I can't sleep, shower, eat, etc. I also keep looking to the future. I'm only 26 years old, I am not equipped to deal with this emotionally or mentally. I'm the only child, so I have no siblings to lean on and my family is very small. I have supportive friends, my dad, and dads side of the family. But if I lost my mom, I'm not quite sure how I'll live or move forward. Or have a normal life. I need input from someone who has gone through something similar, or can give me hope. Help.

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited December 2018

    There are a few places here ro caregivers and family members, and also some for family members of people who are stage IV. You can hopefully find people going through the same thing there who can offer support and advice. You might look for local support groups as well. I'm sorry you and your mom are dealing with this. My mom has had breast cancer twice (early stage) and my mother-in-law is dealing with metastatic breast cancer in her lungs as well, but she is older and with a bigger family, so a bit of a different situation. (((HUGS)))

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  • Mystic18
    Mystic18 Member Posts: 27
    edited December 2018

    Hi Jen,

    I am so sorry about all of this. I can imagine the stress you're under and it sounds like there was very little time to wrap your mind around this being a cold, virus, etc. to cancer. I am adopted and my adoptive mother had cancer in 2016, my birth mom got it in 2017 and this year I have it. I guess what I've learned from the ridiculous amount of stress over the past few years is that no amount of worrying on my end will make anyone's diagnosis go away, including my own. All you can do is take it one day at a time, taking nothing for granted. Be present for your mom, she's likely scared as well. Huddle together with your support system and let people know when you need them around and when you need to be alone to process all of this. Make self care your top priority and I'm not talking about just lighting some candles with a bubble bath. :) I mean, allow yourself the emotional room to laugh like a crazy person, cry, talk about it, stay silent about it, whatever you need in that moment.

    Feel free to PM me if you need to vent, cry, etc. You can do this. SOunds like you have a really special mom. I'd imagine she feels the same about her daughter :) XOXO

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  • Salamandra
    Salamandra Member Posts: 1,444
    edited December 2018

    I'm so sorry. This really sucks. I too lost my mother to breast cancer when I was pretty young (20).

    I will say, try not to borrow trouble or spend too much time thinking about how you will or won't deal later. That is for future you to worry about. Present you has enough on her hands.

    Take care of yourself, be supportive of your mom, spend the time with her you can, and deal with each thing at its time. None of us knows the future. Hopefully she will live a long time yet.

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