Should I tell my family what’s going on?

Options
traceyb
traceyb Member Posts: 27
edited December 2018 in Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned

so hard to know what to do. Scan showed spot on my spine. Biopsy tomorrow..ca-15.3 elevated so it's probably not good. Want to keep it all a secret but it's pretty hard,..told a friend then another, now have to tell my sister in law because I can't figure out how to explain canceling something tomorrow. Feels weird, my mom and sisters would want to know but then that's going to overshadow Christmas.., so confused :-(

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • Parrynd1
    Parrynd1 Member Posts: 408
    edited December 2018

    Traceyb I can sympathize as I am also keeping progression, in my case, from everyone till after the holidays & wedding the first week of January. For me I’ve realized part of keeping it to myself is accepting what’s going on before trying to throw more people and emotions into the mix. As for the appointment you could say you don’t feel well (not wholly untrue as anxiety and stress quality imo) and are going in to the doctor for it. Tell her you had an appointment you forgot you scheduled and don’t want to have to reschedule. Or just simply say you want to reschedule your plans with her...sometimes you just don’t feel like going out ya know? If you feel like this is the best route then do what is right for you. Your family I think will understand either choice. Maybe your biopsy will give better results than you think?
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • jo6359
    jo6359 Member Posts: 2,279
    edited December 2018

    parrynd and tracey - I can understand you not wanting to share the news with your family and friends during the holidays. You know your family best. In one situation you need more information and in the other situation you need to think it through in your own head. I'm the type of person who needs to figure things out for myself prior to sharing bad news. Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • JoE777
    JoE777 Member Posts: 628
    edited December 2018

    I, too, completely understand, but as a mother and grandmother I would want to know, but that's how I am. Think what they may really want unless it's too stressful for you. Hugs!! Jo

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited December 2018

    Only you can decide when it is best to tell them. If the situation were reversed that one of them was the patient, when would you want to know?


    I am sorry you are faced with this. Hoping you get answers nad a plan soon.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Salamandra
    Salamandra Member Posts: 1,444
    edited December 2018

    I'm not sure what it means to overshadow Christmas. I guess it depends what Christmas meant to your family. It seems to me like having your family together being honest with each other and supporting and loving each other through struggles, that seems pretty Christmas-y to me.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • wallycat
    wallycat Member Posts: 3,227
    edited December 2018

    I'm with Salamandra. Of course, only you know your family dynamics and can determine the best course not only for yourself, but how they will deal with the information. It is a hard decision to feel like you are burdening someone with news/information but then, that is why we live communally/community--to be there for people who need us (or we need them).

    Not to start a religious debate, but as I've gotten older, xmas seems more a marketer's dream and less about any original religious intentions.

    Good luck with however you proceed and good luck with your care and outcomes.


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories