How to nicely stop well-meaning advice

Options
2»

Comments

  • CaliKelly
    CaliKelly Member Posts: 474
    edited November 2018

    Hi Phlorada, My tumor was really large too. 8.5×2.5×2 cm.,also in my lymph nodes. Only different, i have IDC. I had chemo first, shrunk it alot, then I had mastectomy, only on cancer side. Radiation, then reconstruction, then Xeloda, an oral chemo. You just go through it ,one step at a time.Scary, because of the unknown. I never had any experience with hospitals, tests, scans, all so new to me. It quickly became routine. And after awhile, it's over except for the hormonal meds. Whatever you have to do, you can do. None of its as bad as you imagine . I took every treatment my onco recommended, I wanted to know I did everything possible so it never comes back. And I am FINE 😃💖You can do it!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • phlorada
    phlorada Member Posts: 28
    edited November 2018

    Thank you so much CaliKelly. I needed to hear that. I feel like they aren't telling me anything. Maybe they don't know? Or maybe it is so bad they don't want to tell me? Did you join a support group? How did you learn what to do, what to ask?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • egregious
    egregious Member Posts: 240
    edited November 2018

    Hi phlorada,

    There are people on this forum who have large cancers of all types. It can be confusing at the beginning when the doctors are still figuring out what the best treatment will be. Chemo can shrink even very large tumors. You have a hormone positive cancer type that might respond very well to the hormone drugs. And some of the new molecular therapies are becoming more broadly available.

    It's scary at first but almost everybody feels better once there is a treatment plan. They will figure out what to do, then just take it step by step. As one of the women here says, everything is doable - not easy, but doable.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • phlorada
    phlorada Member Posts: 28
    edited November 2018

    Thank you egregious. I see some many young women on the here, I was 70 at dx. I don't want the doctors to give up on me sooner due to my age. You give me hope!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • CaliKelly
    CaliKelly Member Posts: 474
    edited November 2018

    Don't worry phlorada, 70 is the new 50! I was 57 at dx, I let my Dr's know I was still only halfway to my goal age!😉 I told them to do a good job on my reconstruction so I could resume my career as the world's oldest topless dancer😄The poor young Doctors didn't know what to think. I didn't join a support group, but I know it's very helpful, to be able to talk with women going through the same thing. Only we can really relate to the feelings, and anxiety, the fear of the unknown. Your doctors will not be withholding information from you, it's just early stages for you right now. You haven't had all the scans, and surgery that will give them more info on your particular cancer. Waiting for all that is the worst part, but like others have said, once you have your plan of action, you will feel better, and ready to fight this ! Just remember, YOU CAN DO IT! Whatever you have to do you will be able to do!💖

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • CaliKelly
    CaliKelly Member Posts: 474
    edited November 2018

    Don't worry phlorada, 70 is the new 50! I was 57 at dx, I let my Dr's know I was still only halfway to my goal age!😉 I told them to do a good job on my reconstruction so I could resume my career as the world's oldest topless dancer😄The poor young Doctors didn't know what to think. I didn't join a support group, but I know it's very helpful, to be able to talk with women going through the same thing. Only we can really relate to the feelings, and anxiety, the fear of the unknown. Your doctors will not be withholding information from you, it's just early stages for you right now. You haven't had all the scans, and surgery that will give them more info on your particular cancer. Waiting for all that is the worst part, but like others have said, once you have your plan of action, you will feel better, and ready to fight this ! Just remember, YOU CAN DO IT! Whatever you have to do you will be able to do!💖

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • phlorada
    phlorada Member Posts: 28
    edited November 2018

    CaliKelly

    I love it!!! I agree 70 is the new 50!!

    Do you have any openings in that topless dancers group!!??

    I am hesitant to go to the support group as it not something I am comfortable with but I feel like I should have a better handle on everything...knowledge, insurance, etc and I am not sure I am educating myself enough to live and thrive.I know I need to be my own advocate. Were there other website etc you used as reference!?

    Also, I was reading over my reports. I had an ultrasound of both breasts. The doctor said he didn't see anything in the lymph nodes and I never felt anything. Then I went to the breast surgeon November 21, who felt something and biopsied it in the office. That report came back and showed the cancer spread to that lymph node. My next appt is with an oncologist after the results from my tests ( so 1-2 weeks). Who do I ask about this? The breast surgeon? Is the cancer moving fast? Or was it an over site on the doctor who read the ultrasound films.

    Thank you!


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • CaliKelly
    CaliKelly Member Posts: 474
    edited November 2018

    Phlorada, I'd have to see the results of your reconstruction before you can join the troupe😉So, generally speaking, your oncologist is the one to go to with questions about your diagnosis, although your surgeon will answer specific to surgery questions. My onco coordinated all my treatments, the order and timing of everything. There is a tumor board that goes over it all, at least at the university hospital I had all my treatments. So the tumor club, I called it, will discuss with all , surgeons,breast, and plastic,radiologist, oncologist and come up with your plan of attack. The tumor board is all the big shots of cancer treatment at your hospital. Only the biopsy can tell if there's cancer, so don't be too mad @doc who missed it. When I was 1st diagnosed, I read books, unfortunately I gave them away, so don't remember titles. Just go to bookstores and get most recently published books on breast cancer, you'll learn all about what to expect . Of course here ,Breastcancer.org is a goldmine of info. Just Google any question you'll find a bc.org topic to click on

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • phlorada
    phlorada Member Posts: 28
    edited November 2018

    Thank you sooo much CaliKelly!!!

    I hope you a having a good day

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories