Anxioy and overwhelmed

You are in the hardest part of this process. You know it’s cancer, but all the pieces haven’t been put together yet. I had to go through all kinds of tests before starting the treatment process. I asked for anti anxiety meds to help get me through the diagnosis process. Once all the tests were over and I had a plan, I was able to wrap my head around everything that happened. Huge hugs as you go though everything. These boards have been a big help, too.

Hi Love! Your anxiety at this stage of the process is something we all went through! The waiting for results, not knowing what to expect, it's all so foreign and strange. I was a hyper, nervous wreck, I had already lost 12 lbs before I even started treatment. I had to take Xanax for the first time in my life. So you're not alone in those feelings, if that helps. Like everyone says once you have your plan of action you will calm down and get into fighter mode. Step by step girlfriend! Whatever your stage is or treatments are, you can do it, one by one, then gradually life becomes back to pretty normal. Take anxiety meds as needed for now, try to stay active and busy, that helps😚💖

Please remember also that your oncologist (hopefully) is experienced and has a lot of experience with similar dx. If she feels good about your scans being clear, then you feel good about it too. There are other warning flags that docs look for that I think she would have seen, and apparently she didn't see them. Take heart that she sees women with b.c. every day, and knows what to look for.

Let us know how it goes. We've all played the waiting game and it's maddening, terrifying, and frustrating. I taught myself not to look online except for good outcomes and stories until I knew all my tests were good I still freak out every six months I go for my check up. Xanax was my friend in the beginning of all this, and like another member mentioned, I lost 8 lbs before chemo even began. Just do what you can do and trust that God has placed you in the right oncologist's hands.

Claire in AZ

in Proverbs, my new favorite verse: SHE IS CLOTHED IN DIGNITY AND STRENGTH, AND LAUGHS WITHOUT FEAR OF THE FUTURE! That's us, it will be you too! God gives you the inner strength to get through it. You will, I know this waiting is so hard,the hardest part really. Get outdoors if you can where you are, fresh air walking , breathe deeply, life is still beautiful. Love and hugs to you 😚💖

I think that getting that initial DX is such a blow and feels so unlikely and unlucky that it's hard to believe that anything will turn out lucky after that.

I know at every step on my way to diagnosis, all I heard was, 'it's probably fine, most lumps are nothing.' 'It's probably fine, most biopsies are negative,' etc etc. And of course for me, each one was not. So how am I supposed to respond to the breast surgeon saying, 'it's probably fine, I don't feel anything in your lymph nodes'?

But of course it's a whole new ball game, and actually, my breast surgeon was right. Of course there are times when they are not, and they know it too and rarely make promises, but like claireinaz said, they've seen a lot and aren't basing the reassurance on hope and statistics only, but on their experience and examination of you.

But the fear is real and terrible and normal. Do what you need to do to get yourself through the days!

At the beginning, I threw myself into work and tried to lose myself. Eventually got on lexapro to help with the anxiety. Now that I have my diagnosis and treatment plan, the work thing isn't 'working' any more and that's become a big source of stress. So I'll be taking some time off even though physically I probably could keep working - mental health is health too.

Take care and keep posting and sharing if it's helping!

Love83 - do you know why the MO is trying to stage your cancer with scans? I believe that doing this is against oncology guidelines for Stage 1 and 2 patients (in the US and I believe the UK as well) which call for scans only if you have symptoms of mets such as bone pain. Never for staging in early cancer without met symptoms. My MO ordered CT and bone scans for me and I didn't know enough to question it -- I thought it was to see if I could stand chemo. First CT came back with spots in the liver and nodules in the lungs so that triggered another scan 6 months later. And lots of worry as you can imagine. The radiologist concluded after the 2nd CT scan that there was no cancer. Although it turns out that many people have these benign spots and nodules, once a cancer patient has this result you are not considered NED until you have another uneventful scan at one year which meant I was supposed to have a 3rd CT 6 months later (that is, one year after the first one)-- all based on the first one which should never have been ordered for me, a Stage IIA patient based on biopsy and surgery path reports. Luckily for me I had a new MO before the 3rd scan and he said he didn't think the 3rd CT was necessary.

I have posted this in another thread and some patients want all these tests but as I understand it is controversial that finding mets early affects survival. Problem is that scans use a lot of radiation and like happened to me once you are on that merry go round you have to stay on it unless the first one is clearly negative. If you are an early stage patient based on the biopsy path report you might want to ask why the scans were ordered. Polly

You girls are all still early in this "journey" , I personally called a "project" not a journey but ,whatever. You're in the, new, scary, I don't know what to expect part. It's so unreal at first, I do agree, that your team is so important, they coordinate everything, it's confusing, so good idea to bring someone, if you're comfortable with that. Write your questions down before every appointment , or you'll forget! After you get going on the "project" that feeling of out of control fear and anxiety will get better! It's all do-able! Believe me! Whatever treatments were on the menu, I said yes. I want to know that I did everything possible to beat it. And I'm doing AWESOME