Just diagnosed and scared

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Maggie0626
Maggie0626 Member Posts: 20
edited November 2018 in Just Diagnosed

Hello everyone. I am new to this community. Heading to my first BS apt on Tuesday. It has been a long couple of weeks inbetween my US, biopsy, diagnosis and now the BS. When I keep busy, my mind is at ease. However, when I find idle time I cannot seem to shake the fear of everything. I will wake up in the middle of the night thinking about it and not able to go back to sleep. I have an amazing support system of friends and family, but the fear just festers over and over again in my head. Any suggestions? Did anyone's Dr prescribe them anything or is there anything that they can even prescribe for anxiety?

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  • CaliKelly
    CaliKelly Member Posts: 474
    edited November 2018

    Hi, Maggie, I had the same reaction when I was first diagnosed but before starting treatments. Just couldn't sleep, my mind was racing at night, real anxiety! The first time I've ever needed anxiety meds! My doctor prescribed Xanax, and it helped!Once you have your plan of action in place you will feel better, more in control. But your emotions will be all over the place! I was glad to have the Xanax while I needed it, and it also made me sleepy. Sleep was good because I wasnt thinking! Itll get easier when you know what to expect, believe it or not. The in between time of diagnosis and starting treatments is nerve wracking. Especially as you know, at night. Get the Xanax, or whatever your doctor recommends. Best wishes to you!💜

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  • Maggie0626
    Maggie0626 Member Posts: 20
    edited November 2018

    thank you so much CaliKelly. I've never needed anything either, but this is really overwhelming. I look at my little ones, 8 & 13, and I think to myself how things are going to change here soon. My husband and I haven't told them yet, we want to wait until we have more of what the plan will be before we tell them. My husband laughed at me when I told him I was going to pack my suitcase for Tuesday so I can tell the dr to check me in now and get the process started. Lol to add to this my father was diagnosed with bladder and prostate cancer 6 days before my diagnosis. :

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  • Wigging2000
    Wigging2000 Member Posts: 295
    edited November 2018

    Hugs to you. I’m in a similar place as you, diagnosed on Halloween and waiting for treatment plan. I also have not told my children yet (age 12, 14, and 17). We are also waiting to have a plan and some more information. My heart breaks when I think about having to tell them...their lives will change too.

    Everyone says that this part is extremely tough and once we have a plan we will feel better. I hope they are right!

    I was on antidepressants before my dx and also take something at night for anxiety, haven’t had to increase anything yet because the meds do a good job. Definitely ask for something if you’re awake at night...sleep is the one respite you get right now from the all consuming thoughts.

    Good luck with your appointment on Tuesday. I’m meeting with a plastic surgeon on Wednesday...would also bring my suitcase and check in if I were allowed to...I get it!!!

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  • CaliKelly
    CaliKelly Member Posts: 474
    edited November 2018

    Lol girls, about the suitcase! I got an appointment with an onco to get started and was on the phone to them 5 times a day to see if they had a cancellation so I could get in sooner! I didn't tell anyone,except my husband of course , until I knew my hair would soon come out! A few people were mad! Or hurt. But I had to know that I had a plan in place, and I could handle it all . Didn't want to scare anyone I guess . Harder with children I know. Let them see, Mom's tough, she can handle it! And by IT, I mean ANYTHING! (From a card I got from my Mom😊) You can do it!

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  • OCDAmy
    OCDAmy Member Posts: 873
    edited November 2018

    never had any issues with anxiety until BC then I had some bad panic attacks. Please do ask for simething to help you through. I'm on Zoloft and it's helped so much but takes time. Ativan works much faster but should not be used long term. the beginning is the worst part, promise it gets better.

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  • Maggie0626
    Maggie0626 Member Posts: 20
    edited November 2018

    I’m a worrier by nature, but this is a little too much. Wigging2000, hugs to you too. Ladies, we all got this!!! The internet I must stay off of, except this site. This site has really had put my mind at ease. Seeing others similar to mine and read their inspiring stories has made me feel a little better.

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited November 2018

    Indeed, you've got this!!

    Taking walks, exercising, and eating healthy will also help keep the balance - and of course the support here

    Keep us posted, and know we are thinking of you, and you're not alone.

    The Mods

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  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited November 2018

    Maggie - I’m a worrier by nature too. Taking something to help with the anxiety is a good idea.

    Just so you know I’m 7 years out last August. Believe me it gets better once you get all your surgeries and treatments in place.

    You guys can do this. We are all testaments to that. It’s a scary DX to be sure but there are so many new treatments and meds out there since I was DX in 2011. It’s not the all is lost DX it was many years ago. There are a lot of survivors many years out on this website. This website was my lifeline from the onset. Who knows better what you are going through than us?

    We are here to help. I have kids too but mine were older. They were scared too but I reassured them I would be okay.

    So keep the faith and keep us posted on your progress.

    Diane

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  • christina0001
    christina0001 Member Posts: 1,491
    edited November 2018

    That first week or so after diagnosis was the worst for me. I have never had anxiety like that before and I hope I never do again. My oncologist at some point gave me a prescription for Ativan for anxiety and it really did help in those early days. You are wise to keep as busy as possible but I know it's impossible to be busy all the time and the nights can be so hard! It WILL get better. Good luck!

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  • Maggie0626
    Maggie0626 Member Posts: 20
    edited November 2018

    I met with my BS today. Boy, you guys are right, made me feel so much better. I have to have a few more tests done before a definite plan is put in place, but she said definitely treatable and curable. Phew, now let’s get the treatment started. :). I feel like I am actually going to get some sleep tonight. I did ask her about something for anxiety, but she told me I will have to see my PCP. I respect that due to the misuse of prescription drugs. I am hoping that with things in place, like everyone said, I will be okay.

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  • CaliKelly
    CaliKelly Member Posts: 474
    edited November 2018

    Maggie💜 how was BS consult? Hope all went Well!😚💜

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  • Maggie0626
    Maggie0626 Member Posts: 20
    edited November 2018

    CaliKelly, everything went really well. I still have to have a few more tests done: MRI to get a clear pic of my other breast, a biopsy of one of the lymph nodes under my arm and genetic testing. One of my lymph nodes is enlarged, but my BS said it may just be a reaction to the biopsy and all of the tissue samples I had taken from it...my breast is still quite bruised from the biopsy. Genetic testing just as a precaution for other potential issues. She said that sometimes a large tumor is large because it just contains itself to the breast. If that is the case with a negative lymph node biopsy, I am just looking at a mastectomy and radiation. However with my genetic disorder, Neurofibromatosis, I am a high rate for breast cancer. Therefore, I am considering having a double mastectomy in hopesof preventing future issues in my other breast. I still need to talk to her about this when i meet with her after all of the others tests are complete. If the lymph node does come back positive, I will have to do some chemo. She feels very confident that this can be treated and cured... she said that several times to me during our meeting. I do feel much better after meeting with her. thank you for thinking of me

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  • DeeBB
    DeeBB Member Posts: 85
    edited November 2018

    The first two weeks were the worst for me. I've never had an issue with anxiety until diagnoses. I was diagnosed in September and had lumpectomy in October with sentinel lymph node biopsy. I have my first mapping for radiation tomorrow. The more people I talk to the better I feel about things and my anxiety has decreased, I can actually sleep now and eat. I just got the results of my DX test about a week ago and it was a 17, so as of right now my MO does not think chemo will be any benefit. Hope all goes well with you and you start feeling better. Stay strong and please keep us updated. This is definitely not a journey we planned on taking but it's here so I will do everything I can to fight this thing. Best wishes to all

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  • Redleaf
    Redleaf Member Posts: 2
    edited November 2018

    maggie0626, I had my biopsy on Wed and found out yesterday that I have invasive breast cancer. They are still doing pathology so that’s all I know. But I’ve had 35 years to prepare, and thought I was. My mother was diagnosed the 1st time when I was 20 and that’s when I had my first mammogram. My latest mammogram in October revealed a difference from the year before and when I saw the mammogram, I was pretty sure it was cancer. I’m handling it pretty well and I have told people because I need their prayers and support. It is scary but it is not necessarily a death sentence. My mother is a 35 year and 16 year survivor. My best friend is a 5 year survivor. We can do this.

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  • Wigging2000
    Wigging2000 Member Posts: 295
    edited November 2018

    We can all do this! We have to and we will! Hoping that all who are waiting for a treatment plan get one soon (myself included)...



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  • CaliKelly
    CaliKelly Member Posts: 474
    edited November 2018

    Redleaf, you got the right attitude! I don't know why, but I never, ever had a thought that this disease would kill me. Doesn't enter my mind, even when I have to check out new lumps and bumps. I want to know what they are, but never get scared that it's bad. Fight like a girl they say! Wigging, once you get your treatment plan you won't be be wigging out! Best to all! Fight like a girl!

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  • Esperanza12
    Esperanza12 Member Posts: 2
    edited November 2018

    Maggie, I am with you. I was just diagnosed as well. Have been reading and researching all night. Will start infusions in about a week. I feel like the more information, the more empowered I am. However, triple positive is really tricky. I am young, with three kids, and this is really, really hard. I am so grateful to have found this on-line community. Any advice on how to relax and maybe get some sleep? Even Xanex isn't helping. Thank you.

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited November 2018

    We are very happy you have all found one another here!! Indeed, you've all got this!

    As for sleeping, it's tough to turn off the thinking!

    Here are a few very basic tips from our site:

    You can try these tips to help you relax and fall asleep more easily:

    • Don't nap during the day. If you must take a nap, don't sleep more than 1 hour and don't nap after 3 p.m.
    • Exercise during the day to help make yourself tired, relieve stress, and improve your mood. To make sure you're not still revved up from exercising when you try to sleep, it's best to exercise about 5 or 6 hours before bedtime.
    • Wind down at night. Don't exercise, talk on the phone, or watch television before you go to bed.
    • Relax by taking a warm bath or having your partner give you a back massage.
    • Use your bed for sleeping only. Don't read, watch television, or listen to music in bed.
    • Read before bed. Try reading a dull book or a book you've read before that you find soothing -- but don't read in bed.
    • Don't drink a lot of water or anything else before going to bed. This reduces your need to urinate in the middle of the night.
    • Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day to get your body on a healthy sleep schedule.
    • Avoid alcohol. It may help you fall asleep but it can make you wake up in the middle of the night.
    • Quit smoking. Nicotine is a stimulant and can keep you awake.
    • Cut down on caffeine, especially after noon. This includes coffee, soda, chocolate, and tea.
    • Keep your bedroom dark and quiet to get the best rest.
    • Hide the clocks in your bedroom. You won't be as anxious about falling asleep if you don't know what time it is.
    • Try silicone earplugs if noise is keeping you up at night.

    https://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/side_effects/insomnia

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  • CaliKelly
    CaliKelly Member Posts: 474
    edited November 2018

    When I can't sleep from racing thoughts, I actually break the good sleeping hygiene rules, and put the tv on some old movie or tv show, with so loud noises or exciting action.I can sort of pay attention to the show,to block out my obsessive thinking, but it's not interesting enough that I can't doze off.Keeping the sound low, sometimes just closing my eyes and listening to it. Helps distract me enough from my own mind, that I can drift off to sleep. My Dr. always says never sleep with tv on, but works for me. Go figure😊

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  • Maggie0626
    Maggie0626 Member Posts: 20
    edited November 2018

    redleaf, thank you for the encouraging words. Yes, we all got this. We have to weather the storm before we get to the rainbow.

    Esperanza12, this thread has been wonderful from the start. Hearing others similar stories is comforting. Mine is invasive as well. After I met with my BS I felt much better and I am ready to move forward. I have always just taking an over-the-counter sleeping pill, melatonin do not seem to work for me. I have been Taking a sleeping pill even before I was diagnosed. A sleeping pill just helps me always get to sleep without tossing and turning all night. After meeting with my breast surgeon, if I wake up in the middle the night now, I’m not as anxious and can typically fall back asleep. My husband and I told our two sons a few days ago...that was also weighing on my mind and I wanted to make sure that they knew what was going on before they heard it from somebody else. They seemed to take the news well. They had to hear the positivity in my voice and know that although I might be sick at times that everything will be OK

    #wegotthis

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