Starting Chemotherapy in November

Hello, everyone. I did not see a group for chemotherapy starting next month, so I decided to start a new topic. I am doing 4 rounds of Cytoxan/Taxotere, starting November 2, if all goes as planned. It may be delayed since I have a healing abscess, left over from a root canal done last week, and they will not start if it is not completely gone. I am extremely nervous, and not entirely sure that I should have chosen the chemo, though my entirely family thinks I have made the right decision. I am only 1A (though right at the top of that, a 2 cm. tumor was removed), but the fairly high grade, other indicators made my oncologist nervous, so she ordered an Oncotype. I came in at 27, which is still intermediate, but getting close to "high risk". She says that chemo gives me a 4-6 percent better survival rate, which doesn't sound like much, but ends up being 90% survival with the newer hormone protocols. I have all kinds of questions--like the percentage of high-risk side-effects, as with liver and heart. Also, though I am 64, I love my longish white-grey hair, and am sad that I will almost probably lose it. Anyway, I want to be around in 20 years when my youngest grandchildren (I have 17, with three new babies this year) are graduating and getting married, and so this gives me the best chance, I guess. Three months of chemo, 5 weeks of radiation, and 5-10 years of hormone therapy feels really daunting! I am a believer in a loving God, and guess that this ordeal will test my faith.

Anybody else feel like venting?

Edith Mary