Really anxious about swimming

Hi there, Wannabeflat. We want to welcome you to our community here at BCO, we hope you find this to be a supportive place.

It sounds like you have very good reasons for wanting to go flat! It's a very personal decision, and one that each person will consider differently. It may take some time to get used to your body following your surgery, and everyone will handle these types of scenarios differently. But it's so important to do things as you feel comfortable. It's absolutely normal to not want to deal with stares or questions. Would you feel comfortable talking to some of the other ladies at the pool about your upcoming surgery and letting them know what will be happening? It may help everyone respect your wishes following your surgery, and allow them to be supportive rather than intrusive. Regarding swimming after your mastectomy, there's no reason why it should cause you any sort of discomfort once you've fully healed. In fact, swimming is a great form of physical therapy, and can allow you to work the muscles in your chest and arms in a less strenuous way!

We hope your upcoming surgery goes well, and we're sure other members of our community who've decided to live flat will chime in with their suggestions on handling the privacy issue.

Wannabeflat, I agree with gb2115 that I hope you can find somewhere more private to shower and get changed. Or would it be possible to face the wall when you get changed? I wonder if it would be possible to talk to management at the pool and ask that they provide somewhere private to get changed for people such as yourself who will feel uncomfortable without privacy. They should provide that and I would feel uncomfortable too, both before my surgery and currently. I've never seen pool changing rooms that are that open here in Australia.

I sometimes swim at a heated therapy pool. My scars are minor compared to some people's surgeries, and mostly people are respectful of each other's experiences.

It made me so sad to read this thread. I mean: We still have <beep> pinktober, everybody is posting about breast cancer awareness and here we are, hiding in the shadows, so no other girl or woman can see cancer is real.

No surprise really when we are steered into hiding the minute we are diagnosed. Bald from chemo? Here's a wig. Pale from chemo: Here are make-up classes and the free goodie bag to go with it. Mastectomy? We can make you even better boobies than you had if you have insurance to pay up. If your body is not up to it or you don't want to bother for other reasons: come, buy these uncomfortable, expensive bras and put some uncomfortable and equally expensive dummies in the pockets. Nobody must know, nobody must be confronted with this! Why is that?

That said: I am pretty self concious myself, but it's getting better. On good days I conciously expose myself to these uncomfortable moments and I am getting more relaxed about it bit by bit. I have been to the sauna, which in germany you do use completely naked and it was okay. People were oblivious or respectful. It would help if I wasn't the only one, but hey, I can't always wait for others the pave the way.

Hi wannabeflat

I am also a swimmer. And I have good news for you. You will be able to go back to swimming as soon as the scars are healed. Swimming is a great sport and you do not need to give it up. My pool also has open spaces for changing and showering, nowhere you can hide to change. And our locker rooms got closed for an 8-month-long renovation work the day before I went for surgery. All we have available now is a fraction (like a fifth) of the space we used to have. So the locker room is more crowded than ever. I went back to the pool right after my incision healed, one month after surgery. That was a mastectomy with tissue expander (nipple also removed), and I had a couple of sessions to further expand the expander to the point it is at now. The rest of reconstruction got delayed because I needed radiation and because I am getting a second mastectomy. So I have been swimming (and walking around the crowded locker room) with my remaining boob on my left side, and a big balloon on the right side (placed under the skin, no nipple, 15cm scar); I look very very asymmetric and weird. I just use my towel when I get out of the shower, as I used to do before, and then I change when I am in front of my locker, as I used to do pre-cancer. My experience is that nobody stares at me. Nobody cares. People are doing their own thing. Sometimes I forget and walk around naked. Nobody looks in disgust or says anything. People are compassionate and sympathetic if they notice and they may smile or say hi how are you doing -particularly people who have seen me there for years.

You say you are a very private person, but you have been using that changing room for years now. Why will it be different now? You are anticipating that you will be disgusted by your scars and your flatness, but you may be surprised that you aren't. That will be your new body. What makes you think you are going to hate it? I am looking very asymmetric and weird with my unfinished reconstruction and my balloon and I am not in the least disgusted, even less ashamed of it. I am proud of all I have gone through in life and love my body no matter what.

Also, if being flat makes you uncomfortable, you can still consider a simple reconstruction. Once you get the mastectomy and an implant, it only takes a couple "refills" (at least for me -but I am small breasted) of the implant and an exchange surgery that is very simple to get the new fake boobs, then nipple tattoos.

As somebody else suggested, a swimming suit with a bit of padding and crossed in the back will look great in a flat chest. Make it patterned rather than solid-colored and voila.

Best of luck and keep enjoying the water,

LaughingGull

Wannabeflat . I have yet to get the torso tattoo of monarchs I've been considering ever since deciding on a bi-lateral with no reconstruction. I do not know if it would make me less shy or not. The bi-lateral was my choice, the surgeon counseled that there was no medical reason to remove a healthy breast, but that it was completely my decision, and that many women do choose this. I did not expect to be as "shy" as I am now in the locker room, and either use a private shower stall or bathroom stall. I empathize with your feelings. Your gym might offer a family changing room which might also have a shower. If yo do not need to shower afterwards, you could use a bathroom stall to change. I never stopped going to the gym, even during chemo. I recently started swimming again, and am enjoying it as another form of exercise, and it seems to help the shoulders ( had a frozen shoulder recently). I do not feel shy at all about lap swimming, but do wear something in the saunas.

Supplements: GAIA turmeric-joint; glucosamine-chondroitin; magnesium glycinate; biotin; potassium-iodine; low dose calcium; C; B-complex ; D; Fish oil. For a year or so after bi-lateral used Juven Nutritional therapy for wound healing with 7g arginine, 7g glutamine. Often add turmeric to meals.

2009 ER+ left breast. 52 yrs. Lumpectomy, Radiation 6 weeks, tamoxifen 5 years. Dense lumpy left breast, normal right. Acupuncture offered at facility as part of integrative medicine. It really helped with anxiety/stress during radiation treatment.

2016 ER+ left breast. Probably a new cancer, but unknown. 4 rounds TC Aug-Oct 2016, Bi-lateral (my choice) Nov 2016, no reconstruction. Anastrozole 1 mg starting May 2017. Joint issues noticed immediately. Stopped Anastrozole after 3-4 months do to joint stiffness in. After several months of no AIs, fingers were feeling better. Started tamoxifen March 2018

10/2018 noticed stiffness and some trigger finger again. Was eating meat a lot more (daily) than normal. Usually 1-2 /wk. Have cut way back on the meat, seems to help, but one finger still very prone to trigger finger.

wannabeflat, I hope your surgery goes well and you have a good Christmas. What day/date is your surgery?

I hope everyone has as good a Christmas as possible and makes precious holiday memories.

wow that is awesome that your suit still fits. I had my surgery one year before you and have not swam or tried to buy a swimsuit since..... just in the 2-3 years before my diagnosis did I find the PERFECT suit and was at the best shape in my life... I avoid the beach but would like to swim laps at some point. I know their are endless threads about swimsuits for flat women and where to go but it feels like such a hassle and I haven't had the energy/motivation to try them on etc

I'm a uni and wear a one piece lap swimming suit. I love swimming! I've tried to only go to adults only swim times. My pool is mostly open showers and I usually shower in my suit and change facing the wall. It's all been ok. No funny looks or anything. I've been getting bolder and sometimes shower with my suit off. No problem.

Nice video!

Thanks for the video!!