Really Scared

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Dovely
Dovely Member Posts: 91
edited October 2018 in Waiting for Test Results

Hello. I am on here after a whirlwind couple of days. I had a manual breast exam by my doctor during my annual and she felt an area on my left breast which she thought should be investigated. I am 42, and hadn't had my first mammogram yet, was planning to after my annual. I went for a mammogram and the doctor wanted more information after seeing “distortion" on my left breast. I have dense breast tissue. It's next to a benign fibrous cyst. He then looked for closer info with the ultrasound but it was inconclusive. He says it could be a radial scar, as it appears that way in the mammogram, but it could also be cancer. He really didn't seem to lean one way or the other. Performed a biopsy and I'm waiting on results. Terrified, not sleeping. I will likely find out tomorrow (actually, later on today). . I have anxiety, depression and ocd on top of this and don't know how I will handle this. I have a 9 year daughter who I am worried about as well.

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  • Rah2464
    Rah2464 Member Posts: 1,647
    edited October 2018

    Dovely, I am sorry you are having to go thru the difficulty of waiting for a test result. I am very thankful that you have a careful doctor that is fully investigating your health. I, too had dense breast tissue and it was truly hard to get diagnostic mammograms. I hope that your test result shows benign activity, but if not, you will get thru this one step at a time. There are wonderful supportive women here that all understand this journey.

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  • Dovely
    Dovely Member Posts: 91
    edited October 2018

    Thank you. I’m glad I posted in here. It’s just so surreal, as I’m sure you all know. I keep picturing the phone call going both ways and thinking the more I do that the better I’ll be at handling it, but I’m not sure.

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  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited October 2018

    Stay away from Dr Google, he is NOT your friend.

    Breathe, and again. Stay as busy as you can to keep your mind occupied.

    Trust your drs, if you don’t like what you hear, get a second opinion.

    You can do this.

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  • etnasgrl
    etnasgrl Member Posts: 650
    edited October 2018

    I absolutely get it. I was 41 when diagnosed and at the time, had an 11 year old son. It is scary, overwhelming, and all consuming when you are waiting for test results. I swear it is the worst part! 
    (((Hugs)))) I'm so sorry that you are in this situation, I know it's hard. I won't tell you not to worry, but I will tell you that it will be okay. Whatever happens, you WILL be okay. Hang in there!
    (And I agree about staying away from Google....that is NOT your friend right now!) 

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  • momto3sons
    momto3sons Member Posts: 311
    edited October 2018

    Hugs to you! I was in the same boat starting last December...it took until almost March to finally get final word on what was going on. The waiting is definitely the worst part.

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  • Dovely
    Dovely Member Posts: 91
    edited October 2018

    It is really really difficult. I finally had a glass of wine at 10:00 am because I don't have any anti- anxiety medication right now after finally getting off benzos a couple months ago. I am sure that if I get diagnosed I will need some psychiatric meds to get through it. On a rollercoaster right now between feeling like everything will ok and sheer panic. My daughter's sweet little face makes my stomach hurt. She sort of knows something is going on but no details.

    I can't help but have, as my DH says “jump the gun" thoughts. How will I work? I love my job and also need the insurance from it. Who will I tell? How will I survive it emotionally? Has it spread? Will I still live a long life? What type and treatment will I need? Existential stuff, and practical stuff.

    I think staying off of Google is definitely a good idea

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  • JoE777
    JoE777 Member Posts: 628
    edited October 2018

    Please wait for your path report and make sure the doctor gives you detailed steps for the choices you'll have on your treatment path. Then take a few days to explore the choices and talking with others that have made those choices and why. This gives you control over your own body. If the doctors leans hard in one direction asked all the whys until you understand their preference. There may be some choices that cancer takes away from you but there will be others that will be your call. Treat yourself in these waiting days with activities that are calming and bring you joy. Hugs and Peace flood your troubled heart. J

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  • sparrowhawk
    sparrowhawk Member Posts: 179
    edited October 2018

    Waiting is so hard. Be kind to yourself as much as you can. Do things in the meantime that relax you and bring you peace and positivity. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  • Dovely
    Dovely Member Posts: 91
    edited October 2018

    Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your kind words. The nurse called me and unfortunately the results aren’t in and I have to wait until Monday. I’m upset about this but also I seem to be in a place of clarity right now. She also told me a few more details, such as: the “architectural distortion” is an area with undefined mass. I sort of knew this, because the doc saw it in the mammo and didn’t on the ultrasound. He had to do a mammo photo of the area after the biopsy, with the pin in it, to make sure he sampled the right spot, as it wasn’t clear on the ultrasound. Seems possibly good as far as size and severity, if it is cancerous. But I’m trying not to have many predictionseither way. Whatever happens will happen.

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  • Dovely
    Dovely Member Posts: 91
    edited October 2018

    oops accidentally deleted last post! Thanks all for your kind words, I really appreciate it. It looks like I won’t be hearing until Monday

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  • princesspeach
    princesspeach Member Posts: 6
    edited October 2018

    I hope you hear something soon! I had a biopsy two weeks ago, but the results came back inconclusive, so I'm going to have a mammogram and more testing done. I just want answers, because I can't help but think of worst case scenario. Sending good vibes.

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  • Dovely
    Dovely Member Posts: 91
    edited October 2018

    Princesspeach, I got something similar. So frustrating!!

    So they called today to tell me that the pathologists are going to present my case to the team. My understanding is that they don't know what it is yet and are wanting to consults with others. The nurse that called me did not say much, except that the area in question is as measured at 1.5 cm, but not presented as a mass? I don't know... I wonder if they knew it was cancer would they have said that right away or is it likely they still don't know? Ugh

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  • Dyannah
    Dyannah Member Posts: 52
    edited October 2018

    I am still waiting for my results. Yet it feels different. Like it split In two pirc

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