Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Hot today ( one of I think the few we will have going through our Fall ) and I will go over to my cousin's house and spend some time with Muffin. Muffin loves the outdoors ( fenced yard - shaded lg. patio ) and so he is happy if he can be outside for a length of time. I started some projects yesterday which I need to expand but they may have to wait till tomorrow -- just have to see how things go.

There were 11 or 12 deer in the yard this early a.m. wandering through. I was standing at the kitchen window which faces our un-used dog pen. We leave one of the gates open and as I watched one of the big deer back in that part of the yard --- just casually walked in and began eating. Yes, I did have that thought. I could have a deer of my very own. Of course not -- but it was a fun thought. They are much more beautiful to me wandering the whole yard and I do feel some fear of humans is a good thing. Hated driving past a guy on the highway that raised deer in a pen on his property because I knew what was going to happen to them when they were totally full grown. The last few yrs. the pen is gone. Don't know if that man still does this but somewhere else or not. I think he was highly disliked by a lot of people and often they made it known. Sigh !!! I don't think many people still need to actually hunt for food. It is said many of these 'wild' animals need thinning out and that could be true, but if so I'd like to think that it occurs not because you went somewhere and shot beautiful animals for sport that have been taught not to fear us. One of those no great answers things I think. So -- I'll just enjoy my yard and keep the gate to the dog pen open.

RobynS4

Welcome to you. I don' t have experience with your dx and txs. but hopefully someone will come along and be able to enlighten you a bit more. All I can say is that I really don't know anyone who hasn't felt high anxiety and deep fear for every thing connected to cancer. Age can turn out to be a positive though. Not easy, but try not to despair. So many things we fear turn out to be less so after we have bolstered our resolve to meet it and defeat it.

Welcome, Robyn, to the sorority nobody wants to pledge. I was a year older than you when diagnosed, but had Stage IA Luminal A--"invasive ductal carcinoma lite"--and so was able to get lumpectomy, skip chemo, proceed to short targeted radiation and then 5 yrs of aromatase inhibitor. (Almost 3 down, 2 yrs to go). But there are many, many ladies here who had "HER2-type" hormone-neg. like you. You have two systemic adjuvant "arrows in your quiver:" chemo & Herceptin/Perjeta (the latter two biologic "targeted therapies" never given w/o having had chemo). Maybe some of our HER2+ sisters here can chime in. Meanwhile, search the Active Topics threads--there are several that may be on-point.

Best of luck to you. Following are some pointers gleaned from these threads and Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book (the breast cancer "bible"):

Stay hydrated, rest as you need to, avoid infections as best you can (maybe get a flu shot at least 2 weeks before starting chemo, so that you have that immunity in place from the outset; don't eat raw & undercooked foods like green salads, oysters, sushi, tartare, rare meat, runny eggs, etc. and try to stay away from public transit and crowds). Always carry hand sanitizer & wipes. Ask if you can get the Neulasta On-Pro device the day of chemo so it auto-injects you the next day, letting you avoid having to go back the next day and sit in a waiting room full of possibly infectious patients.

You can expect little-to-no nausea or vomiting: these days, the anti-emetics and steroids they give you will help a lot. Ask for a prescription for a protective (aka "magic") mouthwash to desensitize your mouth. Stock up on popsicles to suck on during infusions, bring reading matter to help kill time. Friends tell me that LemonHeads candies help mask any odd tastes in your mouth (the chemo suite at my cancer center--where I get my Prolia--has baskets full of them).

Ask your MO for a prescription for a "cranial prosthesis," so your insurance will cover at least part of the cost for a wig. The American Cancer Society gives out wigs for free. Find out if there's a salon w/in a reasonable distance that specializes in wigs for cancer patients. (Here in Chicago, there's one, Chrysalis Hair, that accepts only cancer patients as clients). Do it now while you still have your hair so they can match color, texture & your desired style. Get some polypropylene fleece (not necessarily knit, which can hold on to sweat or be itchy) caps or beanies to keep your head warm when not wearing a wig--REI has great ones that'll make you look like an outdoor athlete and not a chemo patient.

You can eat reasonable amounts of foods that contain antioxidants (colorful washed & peeled fruits & cooked veggies) but don't take antioxidant supplements during chemo and for at least a month or two thereafter. The supplements have large concentrated doses. What chemo does is kill rapidly-dividing cells. What antioxidants do is protect all cells. Just as chemo can't tell the difference between cancer cells and rapidly-dividing normal cells (e.g., hair follicles, stomach & mouth linings, bone marrow--which are basically collateral damage) and therefore can't kill only the cancer cells and leave the others alone, antioxidants can't tell the difference either and can't protect only the non-cancer cells. Cell damage is desirable during chemo or radiation: it's the whole point of these treatments.

If you live in a medical-marijuana state, ask your oncologist to certify that you have a qualifying condition, and apply for an ID card as soon as possible. Some hospital systems won't allow their doctors to certify MMJ applications, so contact your nearest dispensary for a list of doctors who will take you on as a "patient" (but not have to actually treat you) just long enough for their certification to satisfy state regulations. Of course, if you live where recreational marijuana is legal, the "budtender" at the marijuana store can steer you to strains that help with appetite and pain relief. You don't have to smoke or even vape it--tinctures, oils & edibles are available.

And for pain and anxiety relief, industrial-hemp-derived CBD oil is legal in every state (as long as it has less than 0.3% THC) and if you don't have a nearby shop (vape or health food) that carries it, go online. My MMJ doc recommends Receptra brand--highest quality hemp grown in CO. I use the drops and also the topical balm for my musculoskeletal pain after orthpedic surgery, as well as my post-root canal pain. My MO says it's perfectly safe.

Sandy, your car experience was much worse than mine. Glad you were able to offer Robyn so much information.

This morning dh is off to play golf. He transitions so much faster than I do. Maybe because he worked an offshore schedule for years and switched from work for two weeks to home for two weeks. It takes me a while to transition from home to MN and then from MN to home even though I've made those transitions for eight years now.

This morning I hope to do some house cleaning and then go to the nursing home to visit my mother. I did not go yesterday.

The yard needs attention but I will have to wait until it cools off. We're still hot and humid with temperatures rising to the 90's.

Have a good Wednesday.

Hate to admit that I just got my car back from the garage as well. Somehow my Weather-Tek floor mat somehow got entangled with the gas pedal in some strange ( perhaps the person putting it back in which would be me, did it ) way and it just sent the computer into fits. The computer didn't know what to do so it was miss-firing, sm. back-firing, running up the tach even when your foot was off the gas pedal.

I'm glad it turned out to have the simplest of fixes though I do need a couple more things done. Doesn't sound like the garage owner is actually going to make much of a chg. if any. That amazed me as with the condition of my car he had to come out to my house and put it on a trailer and take it back to the garage. He is an animal lover ( I've had other breaks due to this just as un-expected but deeply appreciated ) and knows that I do things for people as well who don't have rides. So, at any rate, he will keep my business for sure. He seems ( I know so little about cars ) to have so much knowledge. When he was out the other day he told me how part of his knowledge came from seeing what good mechanics did to jet engines and since I had mentioned cars having so much computerized gadgetry now -- all separate -- no trunk lines is when he told me this.

Hot today. I'd like to hope they'd be wrong but I doubt it. My car needs re-cleaned -- especially since it sat down at the garage for a week.

Hope you are all going to have a really nice day.

After three hours my car is totally delighted. Actually since I had recently done the full number on it, while I had some heavy cleaning in a few areas I was able to skip some of the tedious items ( still just fine due to un-used areas ) so it once again sparkling. Unfortunately, living out in the country ( not as much dirt since the city graced us with our oil and chipped road in here ) we tend to have more overall dust -- and we had just made a trip to Marion ( 150 mile round-trip ) for Dh to get some tests -- so a little road dirt, bugs etc., when the car had to be trailered into town. Some cleaning where the mechanics get in and out of the car -- but Amour-All everywhere again and looking good.

I do know Chevy's ( mine is an Equinox ) have a spot as you get in where you almost automatically end up dragging your foot ( no matter how dirty ) across a spot and it is often yucky. I had hoped ( because I saw pictures of some -- but maybe not available for my model ) where the Weather-Tech floor mat would extend far enough to the side to actually cover that spot. Weather-Techs are sooo nice, but not cheap and we count pennies here a lot of time. I still insisted that I would not take any other kind of floor mat based on viewing the one feature that made so much sense to me ---- and behold -- I don't really have it. Still I'm really okay and am still VERY glad to have the floor mats. The way they come in and out of your car with the deep lips that they have makes it possible to bring all of the floor mat dirt still IN the mat when you take it out. I just try to be amused over my insistence that it could not be any other kind of mats.

While hot today at least there was a nice breeze which kept me from getting too intensely hot.. I was able to stay out the whole three hours till done.

I just got caught up on the several pages of messages I was behind. Welcome to the newcomers. Someone was talking about oatmeal, I buy my steelcut oatmeal from the bulk dispenser at my health food store and cook it in my crockpot: 4 cups water, 1 cup raisins, 1 cup oatmeal on low for about 4 hours and put it in a rectangular Rubbermaid container in the frig, cut into squares that I microwave each morning with a dollop of peanut butter on top.

Carole, you didn't miss any beautiful fall weather by leaving MN early, it's continued to be rainy and wet and in the 40's here. Although it's gotten to 30 degrees in Fargo my annuals are still blooming. Once we get that hard freeze I'll be busy in the yard pulling up plants and expect to fill several bags. It's snowing in northern ND in Minot.

I took Amtrak to Portland in September for a birding trip, was very pleased with the train ride. Besides it costing $270 roundtrip instead of $640 by plane, it was relaxing, clean, tasty food in the dining car (prices equivalent to eating at a restaurant), and LOTS of room. I had a coach seat (sleeper would have been $1000) that reclined WAY back and still wasn't bothering the person behind me. The floor to ceiling windows in the observation car allowed me to take great photos of the sunset over Glacier Nat'l Park. There were power strips along the sides of the cars so in the observation car I listened to an audio book while enjoying the scenery and in my coach seat I read books that I'd downloaded to my phone. I left Fargo at 4am on a Friday and reached Portland at noon on Saturday. I'll definitely be checking the train schedule for future trips.

The birding week with Roadscholar was fun, 16 people and 3 leaders. We lucked out with the weather and only had 1 day with consistent rain. I got one new bird, a Surfbird, and about 40 new Oregon birds.

Puffin -- the train trip sounds delightful. Good to learn the pleasure of different kinds of travel. Nice to hear about the birds once you got there and only one inclement weather day. I was only one a train once, as a young person ( 18 ) but I loved it. Did have a sleeper bunk at the time. The Army was footing the bill to get us to Alabama.

Interesting way to cook oatmeal. Sounds easier, if a bit slower. I do put raisins in my steel-cut oatmeal and put the leftover in Tupperware in the fridge. I don't do p-nut butter but use a sm. handful of walnuts to get some good protein. Steel-cut oatmeal to me has a far better flavor than the regular oatmeal. 1-minute oatmeal is a waste had the faster it cooks the more nutrients are gone. Since I double the recipe ( 8 cups of water -- 2 cups sc oats ) we have plenty so its okay. I may try the crock-pot though one of these days. I may change how I do things forever.

Life offers its wisdom generously. Everything teaches. Not everyone learns. Life asks of us the same thing we have been asked in every class: "Stay awake." "Pay attention." But paying attention is no simple matter. It requires us not to be distracted by expectations, past experiences, labels, and masks. It asks that we not jump to early conclusions and that we remain open to surprise.

Rachel Naomi Remen

First time back to the gym (YMCA) this morning. Twenty minutes on upright bike and twenty on recumbent. As usually, got soaking wet with sweat. Next trip I'll do the weight machines.

This afternoon is bingo at the nursing home. My visit with my mother yesterday was enjoyable. Our card game was interrupted by a visitor who talked nonstop for 2 hours. She's a nice woman but talkative.

Happy Thursday.

We didn't make it past 60 today. Was hoping yesterday that my hand surgeon would give me the go-ahead to return to the gym, but he says to wait till he's seen me one last time in Dec. and I'm done with PT for my back (sorta like the gym anyway). My hand therapy, which I finished yesterday, had me lifting only 2-lb dumbbells.

First PT (evaluation session) is 9:30 tomorrow morning. Hope I can get away with sweats or yoga pants instead of shorts.

Pingpong, yuck on receding gums. You probably should see a dentist?

I skipped Friday golf this morning because of the heat and humidity. I plan to get a basic pedicure today, mainly to have my toenails painted. I made an attempt to paint them a few weeks ago and they look really bad. We're still in sandal weather.

I may also do some shopping for my mother, who mentioned that she could use some new blouses. The laundry service at the nursing home is very hard on clothing.

Happy Friday.

Are you kidding? I practically live at my dentist's office! I had a lot of problems at my last cleaning, lots of sensitivity, bleeding, etc. Now I'm using an antimicrobial mouthwash my dentist prescribed to try to get them healthy again. 

We in the West don't think much in terms of balance, and obviously we should. Even the very thought of an exquisite union and balance of all our forces, both physical and mental, has a gentle, hopeful ring to it. . . . All of us must find a bridge between our physical and spiritual parts. When that balance is achieved, what a happy comfort for ourselves!

Edward J. Lavi

Ah, Sunday, and it may rain. Lovely day yesterday celebrating with my Aunt who turned 100. Another Aunt ( this one by marriage ) came from Iowa. She is 93. Her longevity though is through her own family tree, though she was welcomed into ours no problem. She and my uncle only had one son and he was adopted. So my Aunt still lives alone in her duplex and has no wish to do otherwise -- like moving in with one of her remaining children. She has lost her husband and three children out of 6. So, good for her and for as long as things can remain as she prefers.

I start today taking care of my friend's cats till she returns from New Mexico later in the week. All good for me though I will go over twice a day. Used to be once in times past but her kits have changed some of their habits and need to have just a little more attention.

Having dinner with my cousin ( she and husband came from Calif. for the party ) and her husband at another cousin's house on Tuesday night. Sure will love that as we have all been wishing ( which she has talked about ) that she might decide to move home here. Anyway, not a super busy week necessarily but some things that I will really enjoy.

Hope you all have a fantastic Sunday.