I don't want to attend any BC related events, anything wrong?

Almost every stage of our experience is dealt with in our own very personal way. I don't see any right or wrong way in the many reactions or coping methods any of us choose. I felt, and still feel, very much like you do. I told very few people about my cancer because I was afraid it would define me to others and myself as 'the one that had breast cancer'. To a great degree those that I did let in on my situation still treat me with kid gloves 5 years later. I hate it. I understand where they are coming from, appreciate their concern, but I wish I could erase it from their memories and go back to who I was to them before they knew. I have done that for myself, but 'it' is still there for them no matter how much more physically and emotionally stronger I am today. They still refer to me as a survivor, like a permanent mark on my record. Delving into fundraising would probably bring it back to the frontlines of my mind too, and possibly ruin all the work I've done to put it behind me and live a full happy life. Like you I choose not to immerse myself in events, not because of laziness or callousness to the cause, but simply as a life coping method. Some folks gain strength by the amazing work they do for the cause, and I'm proud and grateful for them....happy they’re finding a way to peace of mind. In the end it's all good. Whatever it takes, there is no right or wrong IMHO.

Yes, plenty of good research institutes to donate money to without going to the bother and distress of attending a pink event. Those pink charities take at least half of thebfunds raised as administration costs. And you could look for a group that offers practical support to people as AliceB suggests.

I agree with AliceBastable. I wish the "events" weren't shoved in our face. I know where I used to work it really wasn't possible to avoid them.

Pink charities don't care what BC survivors think or feel they are fundraisers making a profit. Yes some of the money goes to research. I am happy when the pink is over.

Nothing wrong with your feelings at all. Mom can go, you don’t have to. I hate the whole pink washing of October and won’t wear anything pink during the month.

My DD did the last 3 day Komen walk in Tampa when I was in treatment. Now Komen has stopped them completely. I’m glad, for a lot of reasons. I won’t go off on Komen now.

Just keep on being you, it’s ok.

True, for people without good health insurance the costs are high. MRIs are considered routine for discovering the extent of the disease and easily cost over $2000, not to mention surgery, hospital stay, radiation, reconstruction....

I know we aren't suppose to be political but I think we need the affordable care act, with truely affordable costs.

I say do what feels right to you! Some people gain strength and purpose by digging into many BC events. Others just wish they could forget all about BC and it's effect on their life.

My teenage daughter participated in a walk for BC with some friends while I was still undergoing treatment. I think it felt important to her and I didn't mind paying the registration fee. But I just couldn't go.

I'm sure there are lots of good organizations, but sometimes it seems like more focus is put on raising the next dollar than on what the dollars are paying for.

Egads, your post is so incredibly refreshing. I’m less than 2 months out from my diagnosis and only my husband and mom know. And frankly, between them and the incredible women on this site, I feel like I have all I need for me. I agree it’s a personal choice. I do feel like “going public” will label me. And when I was ready to move on, they couldn’t or wouldn’t. I do agree the extra support would be nice now but the “pity looks” outweigh any benefit (to me). Every person is so different and I do believe I’m in a minority on this. But I guess it’s my coping mechanism. I’m so glad I care across your post because it makes me believe I’m not alone with the way I feel. Thank you for sharing. You helped someone incredibly today (me). :-)

Alice and Meow, you are right on the money. I truly hate the whole PinkTober campaign. I don't want to walk or run, I don't want to buy or wear pink stuff. I don't want to be the face of breast cancer.

Rather than give my money to PinkTober organizations that may or may not spend it the way I intend I made a donation to the Hope Lodge in New Orleans. They offer their assistance to anyone undergoing treatment for cancer, any kind of cancer. We have stayed there twice while I underwent surgeries. They were so good to us. We were able to stay in a lovely hotel room with a large bathroom. We had a large kitchen available to us, a library, and a TV in the dining area. Volunteers ran us to and from the doctors and hospital. Other volunteers brought delicious meals.

Hope Lodge made a very difficult situation more bearable and for no charge. I will be happy to support them in the future.

Sadlynew - Thank you for your very kind and generous words. It’s not often that I get serious around here, but this thread struck a note with me....and it was a relief to get it off my chest. I’m so pleased to have helped lighten your load. Having found your ‘like mind’ has helped me in return. Thank you for posting, youmade my day!

Alice - *high 5* your quote is 15 shades of funny ))

I still don't 6 yrs out although after 5 yrs, I got courageous enough to talk to on the phone and mentor some newer patients. I threw every pink think away I was ever given. I did buy myself a shirt last spring, I've only worn it a few times. All the treatments, scars, drugs, add one of us just can't handle any more. I'm grateful for those who do. I really feel their voices got me to do my self exam that caught my original diagnosis.

it’s so ironic that this topic is being discussed. Just this past weekend, I was telling family that I dread October, and that I want NOTHING to do with any type of BC fundraisers, conferences, etc. I look at my scars daily; that’s my reminder. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, maybe I’m wrong.

I have been asked to speak at a BC event and declined. I feel on the fence, I like to help anyone I can especially during the horrible first 2 months after diagnosis. Self exams are fine I am sure every woman that has an annual exam has been told to do them. No one ever talks are dense tissue, never heard it before I got diagnosed. I never knew mammograms were almost useless for me. Still at 60 years old I am told MRI needed if I live to 70 maybe I will be less dense.

We need better treatment, that is a message I would like to get through.

Travel, did I tell you I saw a tv ad with a man on breast cancer. Haven't seen it recently but I was suprised and happy to hear they are trying to get the word out.