sorry for posting again but now I'm second guessing myself

skram
skram Member Posts: 15
edited September 2018 in Not Diagnosed But Worried

Hey all,

So I've posted a few times (and yes, I have trauma based PTSD and crippling anxiety with agoraphobia etc which really doesn't help with the whole 'not overthinking stuff').

I think because so many of the women in my life have been affected my cancer I can't tell if it's my gut telling me to keep pushing or the underlying anxiety that of course I'm next- if a frigging rare brain tumour can be killing my sweet 35 year old younger sister it's certainly not out of the question.

Anyway, one of my breasts recently became much larger than the other after months of itching around an inch under the nipple.

There's been some weird spider veins coming up, but red instead of blue/green and my veins are generally more prominent in the larger breast and small areas of swelling with indentations. No rash but I am frequently starting to experience sharp burning (like a match being lit under the skin) in those areas. And my areola seems to be both smaller and now has areas of puffiness like the other spots.

However, the swelling has reduced a lot (it's still asymetrical and the breast's nipple/general direction pulls more to the right than it used to) so now I'm worried I'm going to show up to this specialist and just seem like a histrionic panic merchant :( Because the indentations and small areas of swelling aren't visually that significant- they're new but still...

Ugh, anxiety is just horrible and I don't want to look like a fool, but neither do I want to potentially ignore a potential issue.

Oh and an ultrasound and mammogram found zip- I knew I had no lumps going into this, just the change in size, itching etc.

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  • Georgia1
    Georgia1 Member Posts: 1,321
    edited September 2018

    Hi there. If the mammogram and ultrasound were clear, I'd put cancer to the side for a moment. A dermatologist and/or an ob/gyn might be able to tell you if it's an infection, which seems most likely. That would be my next step since you've seen the swelling go down.

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  • skram
    skram Member Posts: 15
    edited September 2018

    LOL spoke too soon, breast is back to being a good third again in size.

    I don't feel sick, I stopped breastfeeding 13 years ago and there's nothing to indicate infection- the second Dr I saw was very thorough and even checked my meds to make sure it's not a side effect.

    I just have dimpled raised areas, an itch that is sooo itchy, some discolouration and swelling up to and almost around my armpit. And some pain. My anxiety is just peaking right now, even my partner passed when I was pregnant (suicide) so I have no support because I can't lay this on people actually dealing with cancer.

    Obviously I won't know what's going on for at least 3 weeks but I'm sick of checking for changes all the time, it's mentally and emotionally exhausting on top of everything else :(

    I guess I just needed to vent

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  • mustlovepoodles
    mustlovepoodles Member Posts: 2,825
    edited September 2018

    Vent away! We all understand the fear and anxiety. There are many possible causes for symptoms like yours, mostly benign. Try to hold on to that. Crying and throwing things also helps.

    I'm sorry that you aren't able to talk about this with those you are close to. As a cancer survivor myself, I can tell you that my love and concern for my family members didnt change just because I had cancer. I still wanted to hear about their ups and downs. My siblings decided not to "burden" me with their issues. What that looked like is this: uncomfortable silence, avoiding conversations, no phone calls. It was frustrating for me because they felt somehow that this was a contest. That my cancer trumped their kid's ear infection, the musical theater issues, unintended weight gain, soccer woes, etc. And sure, I guess cancer *is* a bigger deal than the quarter the grandbaby lost in Walmart, but I still wanted to hear about it. Maybe your sister would like to help you navigate this fearful thing?

    Hugs. As Winston Churchill said, "When you're going through hell, keep going."

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