Just diagnosed - Can’t. Stop. Crying. (41yo)

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  • Lantana70
    Lantana70 Member Posts: 33
    edited September 2018

    You remind me so much of where I was 4 years ago- diagnosed with stage 1, grade 2 breast cancer.

    I was 44 and had 3 young kids. I lost a lot of weight due to anxiety and struggled to get out of bed. My psychologist persuaded me to go on antidepressants. I stuck to this for a year and then got off them. I have had many ups and downs since my diagnosis!!!

    You have a really good prognosis and should plan on doing well. The shock will fade away!!!

    Take care

  • Mombytheriver
    Mombytheriver Member Posts: 25
    edited September 2018

    hey there Sadlynew2018- so sorry that you are having to go through this. It is so hard to wait to get results and make a plan and everything that you are facing. It will slow down as you make your plans and get a good understanding of where you are going. Sending love and peace your way. Thinking of you.


    Patt

  • urdrago71
    urdrago71 Member Posts: 559
    edited September 2018

    So sorry ur here. Take a breathe, know u have our support. I like u couldnt stop crying, left work on a friday and cried all weekend when I first found out. Than cried ever time I heard a result or tried to talk about my dx. Felt like my life was out of control. But actual it was all the pieces of a plan to get healthy and take control of the cancer diagnoses. I believe when I was first diagnosed my mind was going thru flight bcuz I was frighten and now I'm fighting cancer with knowledge to make the best choices. . Ive been thru chemo heading to surgery in Oct. with great support formus here, family, friends and all my doctors. My suggestion talk about it..cyber hugs. be kind to urself.

  • Sadlynew2018
    Sadlynew2018 Member Posts: 222
    edited September 2018

    thank you so much everyone. Today marks day 43 and I think I turned a corner for the better. A little. Had my surgical procedures and getting ready for chemo. The best advice I received on here is to wait for a plan. This forum has been such wonderful. You ladies are so strong and have such great advice. People can support you but unless they’ve been there, it’s just not the same. Thank you so much.
  • urdrago71
    urdrago71 Member Posts: 559
    edited September 2018

    sadlynews2018, I read thru ur posting and see u found August group for surgery and started a Oct. Chemo group. If u have any questions I'm in the April chemo group and we would be happy to give you suggestions. I have a port it was placed 2 days before chemo started. At first neck soreness/ bruised from them placing it which lasted a few days and than slowly I adjusted to the port. I like it, put some lidocaine on about an half hour before chemo and I dont feel the pokes. Best recommendation thru chemo, always ask ur doc. Or infusion group questions, they can recommend things to try doing chemo. Example, I had headaches my first time after infusion. I called my doc. She told me what to do and they change my pre.- medication from zofran to Kytril during infusion.

    Sending good vibes and may u have a peaceful weekend .

  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited September 2018

    I was 53 did mx left with DIEP reconstruction. Never did the recommended chemo so happy I didn't. 4 years AI, 7 years no more cancer.

  • Nisha517
    Nisha517 Member Posts: 88
    edited September 2018

    unfortunately, I find myself crying way more now non stop after chemo started. I was in shock, sad, mad when I was first diagnosed, but the doctors kept saying I’ll beat this and be fine so I thought ok cool no big deal. And when the doctors and nurses would tell me the chemo side effects, they seriously made it sound like it wasn’t too bad and I may not even get side effects, so again I thought ok cool no big deal. Then once chemo started, the flood gates opened. I think it was then I realized what I was really dealing with. I’m not saying this to scare anyone, just saying this was my experience of when the reality of having BC really hit m

  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited September 2018

    Nisha, so sorry you are going through this. Treatment for BC shouldn't be taken lightly and neither should cancer. For me it was getting information and understanding what the treatment will and won't do. I, like you, was terrified and panicked to get rid of the cancer ASAP. I found talking to people who went through it first hand was really key. I had a mixture of BC friends some that knew almost nothing about their cancer and just let their doctor decide to others that took total charge and reached as much knowledge as they could. It is hard to become an expert when first diagnosed sometimes you have to make a decision with what knowledge you have. It is not easy. I question why was I not taking the strong recommendation of the best breast cancer doctor in Seattle. I was getting pressured to make decision after one week of receiving my oncodx score. But my nagging instinct was saying don't do it. Finally, I sat down and said why I didn't want to risk chemo and why I wasn't sold on the oncodx statistics. Then I felt better my mo relented and said ok let's go with AI drugs. Well at the time I couldn't find much negative permanent side effect information on anastrozole. I did it and probably would take the drugs again. After 7 years I have read so much and know so much more. But don't forget chemo kills cells and kills many bad cancer cells it may not cure you but it can knock the hell out of cancer.

    There is not a right answer. We have a long way to go in cancer treatment. I sure hope we get there.


  • Sadlynew2018
    Sadlynew2018 Member Posts: 222
    edited September 2018

    Nisha - I’m so sorry about the side effects and also that your team wasn’t as upfront. I’ve heard it’s terrible. I’ve tried to learn so much from this blog over the last 44 days (but who’s counting?). I feel like the ladies here are so well schooled on what works and what doesn’t, etc. My SO said the next 6 months are going to “suck.” My MO had great suggestions but the ladies on here seem to be key. I feel like I’m preparing for a tornado with no shelter. Just get as much as a I can to protect me, knowing it’s going to be tough. Positive attitude is tough but I’m trying hard. I so ready to get started so I can get it over with.
  • rachelcarter35
    rachelcarter35 Member Posts: 368
    edited September 2018

    Sometimes a positive attitude is just impossible. As I come to the end of my treatment (God willing) I realize I was hard on myself this way. Sometimes you just have to feel crummy and pissed. This is all hard enough without the added pressure to stay positive.

  • Nisha517
    Nisha517 Member Posts: 88
    edited September 2018

    thank you, meow13. Yes, there’s just so much info and contradicting info. I honestly didn’t do much research before now, but after the second chemo really kicked my butt, I’m trying to educate myself more. I also told my husband that he needs to make sure i follow a schedule for medicines to take to help the SE’s. He would try to get me to take medicine before, however I kept denying it so I wouldn’t be adding more drugs to my body. But now I read on this site how important all those medications are.

    Sadlynew2018- I won’t lie, once the chemo starts, it will be tough. But that’s great you are preparing yourself! I will pray that your SE’s won’t be that bad!


    Rachelcarter35- staying positive is so hard! Our lives have been turned upside down. How do we stay positive?

  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 1,536
    edited September 2018

    hey sweetie hang in there we are here for you been there but have Hope that what got me thru. I am now a 24yr Survivor Praise God. Sorry you are here. msphil idc stage2 0/3 nodes Lmast 3mo chemo before and after got married we were planning at diagnosis was 42yrs old 43 when treatment was done.Use me for Inspiration sweetie.rads 7wks 5yrs on Tamoxifen

  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 1,536
    edited September 2018

    hey sweetie hang in there we are here for you been there but have Hope that what got me thru. I am now a 24yr Survivor Praise God. Sorry you are here. msphil idc stage2 0/3 nodes Lmast 3mo chemo before and after got married we were planning at diagnosis was 42yrs old 43 when treatment was done.Use me for Inspiration sweetie.rads 7wks 5yrs on Tamoxifen

  • MastectomySister
    MastectomySister Member Posts: 19
    edited September 2018

    I too am new to the board and was diagnosed 7/18/18. The first weeks were some of the hardest of my life. I’d wake up in the middle of the night with so much anxiety and would pace around the house. It was terrible! I would say everything turned a corner when I finally found my dream team of doctors. It wasn’t easy. I had to get second and third opinions and I am so thankful I did that. Once I knew I was in the best hands possible, I was ready to fight. I had my BMX 8/31/18 and have healed up nicely. Even though they didn’t find any invasive cancer after my BMX, I still have one very tiny positive margin with DCIS, which the surgeon plans to take more tissue during my exchange surgery. Crossing fingers for negative margins after that 🤞🏻 That won’t be until the end of Nov or early Dec, so yet more waiting. The waiting without a doubt is the hardest part thus far. Hang in there and know your emotions are all normal!!!

  • Rrobin0200
    Rrobin0200 Member Posts: 433
    edited September 2018

    Sadlynew2018, you hit the nail on the head. People can help you and offer advice all they want, but unless they have had a cancer diagnosis themselves, they just don’t understand. I felt like this too. People try to be helpful and understanding, but all I could think was, yeah, you have no idea what you’re talking about.

    I went through several stages of grief and anger, sadness and agony... I’ve learned that that’s Normal. It will get better, I promise. I’m 1.5 years out from That dreadful day, and even though sometimes I get stopped in my tracks if I’m reminded of cancer, I think about what I’ve overcome and what is left for me to do here.

    You’ve got this. You have to; there’s no choice. You’ve got in it you, we all do.

    Now fight this SOB.


    Well wishes coming your way

  • InnaB2018
    InnaB2018 Member Posts: 1,276
    edited September 2018

    I just finished the chemo and am getting ready for radiation. I’ve been weepy for the past few days for no particular reason. Almost 2 weeks PFC, I am feeling almost normal. But now the thoughts of recurrence started driving me crazy. I am trying to distract myself by reading, writing, and watching the shows. It’s PTSD, I know. This too shall pass.

  • Sadlynew2018
    Sadlynew2018 Member Posts: 222
    edited September 2018

    oh innaB, I am so sorry. You hit such an amazing milestone. The end of chemo. Hold on to that. I, too, foresee myself having those same fears. Gosh, I feel like I already do. Keep writing and reading and just moving forward. Day by day. Hugs, InnaB.

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