The Hermit Club

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  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited June 2018

    I am so relieved after so long.........and it was lovely to be treated so well.......so much so that if I can sell I would move to live nearer to that city to know I would get decent treatment in a hospital as all staff were a lot more compassionate.......

    How is everyone doing? This thread seems to have slowed down a lot

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited June 2018

    Lilly- doing okay this way! Thank you for asking. And yes, this thread is not as active as it used to be, but believe there are still folks here reading.

    Also, I had to sleep on my back for quite awhile after abdominal surgery, then the breast surgery in 2012. I used pillows on each side to help me from rolling around. It was hard to get used to, but my body adjusted. I hope you are getting some decent rest sister.

    Keep in touch and continue to feel better friend. So glad to hear things went well and you received excellent care and support during everything.

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited June 2018

    That is good news Lily!

    Im happy for you.

    wallan

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  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 43,890
    edited June 2018

    God bless You Lily55

    I'm a friend of Jazzygirl and may I join you here.

    God bless You all, Hugs and prayers 

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited June 2018

    Footprints- welcome to our thread. We are pretty slow on this thread, but this was my very first thread I joined back in 2012 and lots of folks still lurking here I believe, some posting too. Lilly was one of the earlier people I met when I joined back then too and so glad to hear her good news!

    Speaking of good news, I was in today for my yearly mammo and ultrasound. I was doing six months on those for five years until last summer, and went to yearly again after last summer. The radiologist reviews everything right away to come in and tell you what they see. Grateful for good news today.

    It is hot across the US (going to 104 here today) so stay cool my people in this part of the world.

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  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited June 2018

    Got nearly 3 inches of rain dumped on us today. Gonna be very hot into the coming week, ugh!


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  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 43,890
    edited July 2018

    Sending a lot of caring thoughts and prayers You are all 

    wonderful people here. Please take care, Debbie

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited July 2018

    Wishing all my Canadian friends a happy Canada day and all my US friends a safe and relaxing July 4th!

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  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 43,890
    edited July 2018

    Hoping all of You have a safe one too! 

    Thanks Jazzygirl

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited July 2018

    Lily- I know it has been almost a month since I was here on Hermits. How are things going. Is your recon healing going well? Are you able to get out and walk some with the dogs and get some fresh air? Thinking of you sister.

    Thinking of everyone else here too and hope everyone is doing okay. I had a little re-occurrence scare a couple weeks ago (biopsy) but all is fine! Whew!

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  • Amica
    Amica Member Posts: 488
    edited July 2018

    Well I'm a hermit, so Hi to all my fellow hermits lol

    I do wish I could get a dog, because that would force me outside more to interact. As it is, when I go for walks, I sometimes stop and gush over friendly dogs and chat with their kind owners.

    regards to all,

    Amica


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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited July 2018

    Hi Amica- welcome to the Hermits thread. This was the first thread I joined back in 2012 when I joined this site and was going through treatment. It is not a busy place, but people do pop in here.

    Dogs are great, I don't have one myself, but might be a nice way to connect. There are shelters that allow you to take their dogs out for a walk if you are up for that. Good for everyone!

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  • Amica
    Amica Member Posts: 488
    edited July 2018

    thanks for the greeting jazzygirl!

    Yeah dogs are great people! lol (but I don't tell my cats that :)

    take care,

    Amica


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  • Dhanno
    Dhanno Member Posts: 104
    edited July 2018

    I too am a hermit .I have suffered this ordeal all alone .When you are drowning you need just one rope to pull you up .Thankfully my husband is that one rope .I have cut off from my parents and sisters .I want to get over this treatment and then reconnect .I told them all that my world is different from their world .I do not know why but as a cancer patient I feel I have disturbed their perfect world. My parents were enjoying an awesome retired life before this cancer bomb .Now in this old age they have to suffer the pain thanks to my freaking cancer I really love my parents. I have not spoken to them for last two and half months .I want to become healthy and then show them my face .

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  • Amica
    Amica Member Posts: 488
    edited July 2018

    Dhanno, welcome to the club. I am glad you have that one rope, your husband, and I believe he is also a very lucky person to have you in his life. You deserve all the love and compassion in the world, and if right now you want to retreat and deal with this mostly alone, that is fine. You can provide loving compassion to yourself. And you can reach out to others at your own pace and timing, when it feels right for you. There are people who go through the cancer experience utterly alone, and they survive. I think it's a myth that most people have this huge support network of supportive friends and family; in fact I suspect a large number of people don't. And we can still prevail! On the other hand, I don't know if I would necessarily assume that you are disturbing their "perfect" existences with your cancer diagnosis. That is something you could indeed check out with some family members, but only if you want to. Wishing you peace.

    in support,

    Amica

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited July 2018

    Dhanno- I am glad you have the support of your husband to get through this. As Amica said, not everyone has a huge support system during treatment, or chooses to tell a lot of people. I had a small but effective support system, but did not share with many for various reasons. Cancer treatment is a tough road as we all know here, and not everyone is equipped or able to help us along the way. And sometimes we are just sparing people who have been through some other hard times themselves and letting them have their time in the sun without burdening them with our problems. I think who to tell or not/who to ask for support is one of the hardest things about this journey.

    One day at a time right now, and self-compassion is key in all this for sure. It appears you were diagnosed just a couple months ago and it is all so shocking and things move so quickly for us from diagnosis, additional testing and straight on in to treatment. But as someone who is almost six years out from initial diagnosis,I am here to tell you can do this and that you may be able to share more with your family through time. Just do what you need to do to take care of you right now.

    Let us know how else we can help you. We are here to listen and support however we can


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  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 43,890
    edited August 2018

    God bless all the new one and those with a caring heart

    Thanks for this wonderful group, I read a lot of the time. I

    am a hermit too. 

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  • Amica
    Amica Member Posts: 488
    edited August 2018

    Waving to footprintsangel !

    We are all in this together

    take care,

    Amica

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  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 43,890
    edited August 2018

    Thank You Amica , AHug lot of loved shared here.

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  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited August 2018

    Hi Jazzy, I am ok healing wise but long way to go yet with it......sadly way too hot to go walking and have other challenges with mobility and generally feeling really pd off.....I was much happier when I was living on my own........

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  • SheliaMarie
    SheliaMarie Member Posts: 302
    edited September 2018

    Hi, all. Fellow hermit here. My alone time means ALOT to me. It annoys me that people don’t understand (or maybe they just don’t respect) this. I have a husband and children, so being alone isn’t a given; it’s a luxury.

    My friends and family know this; however, I get guilted into answering my phone or having people over. Everyone who knows me knows that I detest talking on the phone. They all know that I prefer texts. Yet, there are some who insist on calling. And if I don’t answer, well they’ll just keep calling until I do. And for nothing important - just to “touch base” or whatever. Two friends and my mom... they all do it. My mom has been wonderful and taken me to every chemo and radiation, but she KNOWS I hate talking on the phone. And she’s one who will guilt me about me not wanting company too. Especially in the summer. We have a pool so my nieces and nephews always want to come. I usually cave. This summer I didn’t.

    I have literally closed all the blinds and pulled the curtains so that I can ignore people who think it’s okay to just “drop by” and stay for hours. Like my mother in law. She comes, she stays, and the whole time she’s here she’s bitching about her aches and pains. It’s exhausting.

    If everyone would give me a chance, I’d reach out more. Believe it or not, there are times I do feel like socializing. It would probably be more frequent if people would stop harassing me ;)

    I’m really not an awful person, y’all. I’m not even rude to those who keep calling or just randomly stop by 🤪. But it sure felt good to find this forum and like minded people so I could vent! Look forward to getting to know y’all (more people like me)!!

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited September 2018

    Sheila- I highly value my alone time. I live alone but work as a busy consultant and have to deal with lots of people all day. I don't like people who come at me wanting my time constantly, and have learned to be judicious with those who want to much. I feel society expects women to always be there for everyone for the asking, but we can't and don't want to be. All you are doing is creating boundaries around what you need to do, don't feel bad about it. If other people don't like it, not your job to make them happy. Your family and your personal time sound most important to you. Go with that......

    image

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  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited September 2018

    I am now a widow and devastated

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  • Vermonster
    Vermonster Member Posts: 44
    edited September 2018

    Lily55 - I am so sorry for your loss!

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  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited September 2018

    Heard from my friends in NC. They lost power a little while ago due to Florence.

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited September 2018

    Lily55: I am so so sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers


    wallan

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  • Amica
    Amica Member Posts: 488
    edited September 2018

    Lily55 - I am so very sorry for your loss.

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited September 2018

    I am so sorry Lilly for your loss

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  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited September 2018

    Thank you, I am absolutely distraught to be honest.....

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited September 2018

    Grief counseling may help. It helped me enormously during a big loss in my life in my early 30s.

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