It’s been a year...

star2017
star2017 Member Posts: 827
edited September 2018 in Stage III Breast Cancer

I thought I was doing ok, and then yesterday, exactly a year after I went to my ob after feeling a lump, I just fell apart. I couldn’t stop crying. Even now I’m tearing up.


It’s so scary and painful to confront how much has been lost.


I know I should be grateful that I’ve had another year, that I have a good life, that hopefully the future will be bright. And I am.


But sometimes, it’s hard to recover from the grief and loss

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Comments

  • PreludeSing
    PreludeSing Member Posts: 102
    edited August 2018

    Star....big hugs...

    I can totally relate. The enormity of the loss can sometimes feel like a vortex of pain and anxiety.

    But have a good ugly cry, pick yourself up and keep getting through each day with a promise to laugh at least 3 times a day, just like meals. It helps me. I hope it helps you...

    Keep shining. You have made it this far, you can keep going


    xox


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  • Joyseeker43
    Joyseeker43 Member Posts: 20
    edited August 2018

    I can relate. It’s been a rocky month. The smells, the weather....everything is reminding me of when I was diagnosed. Very teary and emotional. Not a fun time at all.

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  • star2017
    star2017 Member Posts: 827
    edited August 2018

    About the sights and smells, that's very true. It's so unsettling how memory can come alive like that.


    Thank you for the kind words, both of you

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  • nessvess
    nessvess Member Posts: 7
    edited September 2018

    I was diagnosed last year as well and I've struggled the past few months. I think I was in shock and then fight mode and am just now realizing the enormity of what I've gone through the past year. I lost my husband a couple of months after diagnosis, so it's been a really rough time. When I feel scared and alone, I come on here looking for survival stories...just like today. I hope we will be able to post our stories a few years from now. (((hugs)))

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  • star2017
    star2017 Member Posts: 827
    edited September 2018

    I’m so sorry that in addition to this horrible disease you’ve had to deal with the loss of your husband. I hope the future holds better days for yiu

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  • NotVeryBrave
    NotVeryBrave Member Posts: 1,287
    edited September 2018

    Star - I wrote a very similar post at my one year anniversary of diagnosis. I remember feeling kind of lost, very sad. Of course we're all grateful if we're doing pretty good, but it's hard to cast off the fear sometimes and it's a lot to process.

    Let yourself feel sorry for yourself sometimes. It sucks, all that we go through. And then celebrate how far you've come and that inner core of strength! Congrats for each day. ;-)


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