Surgery and hospital newbie - help me decide

Of course you want him at your side through this. I would probably not have him with a bedside vigil at the hospital and save his time off. You just never know how things will go. Since you are going home the next day you won’t be on the hospital very long. What is your surgery?

I had a lumpectomy and my husband did stay at the hospital and at home with me the rest of that day but he didn’t have time off worries.

Diane

Agree with beatmon on having someone spend the night with you in the hospital, my 21 year old daughter volunteered to do that so her dad could rest and have a good night of sleep before I came home the next day, which was very sweet. I was in a private room on the GYN floor of the women's center and there was a chair that folded out into a bed. My husband was off Wed/Thurs/Fri, and the weekend, then returned to work on Mon. My daughter was in college and in classes also, and I was fine at that point to be on my own with preparations for already made food, drinks, etc.

I am in the other camp. Don’t waste PTO sitting in the hospital. Surgeons like having someone to report to immediately after surgery- use your mom for that. I had both of my surgeons call my husband after updating my daughter. My husband was immunosuppressed and couldn’t be there. I gave each doctor an index card with his name and cell phone number. I was two nights in the hospital for both the mastectomy and DIEP reconstruction and wouldn’t have wanted anyone hanging around. I scheduled a couple of girlfriends to come visit day after mastectomy and bring me coffee. My sister brought my coffee after diep.

My whole gang took various shifts with me. Husband was there for checking in/waiting. My parents came for a bit before surgery (bc my mom would never think of not being there and they helped with our tiny people). After I went in (my surgery was 3-4 hours) my mom stayed and husband and dad went to pick up kids at school. Before I was out my husband was back and he stayed the night with me.

You’ve probably come to some level of peace with what’s about to happen. And while your family is prepared, actually having him there will help him process everything too. My husband said it was a little like when our first was born, he was pretty naive until seeing the pain.

And if you’re anything like me he won’t wanna miss how silly you could be after they give you the “I don’t give a s***” drugs before wheeling you awayor after waking up (Drugs weren't totally worn off and I was so upset I couldn’t raise my arms, luckily he didn’t film this!)

Once you’re home anyone can take care of you