Flat and plus sized

Options
Jadedjo
Jadedjo Member Posts: 469
edited September 2018 in Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy

As I lean more and more towards bmx no reconstruction or delayed reconstruction for a multitude of issues. I'm finding it hard to find stories women my size out there who have gone flat. 

Bluntly put without boobs I would look like uncle fester with some hair.

Actually not quite cause I'm pear shaped with linebacker shoulders, a smaller upper rib cage area but there's a big Buddha belly and hips that can take out small villages.the boobage tends to offset my strange body type. This is the only thing the girls have been good for in my life other then a handy arm rest or a spot to put something when I need both hands..or a placeholder to put the strap of a crossbody bag or purse.....I'm probably going to miss that.....placeholder and armrest the most....

This is not doing much for my already battered before diagnosis self esteem.

Any plus sized ladies who have gone flat and are worken it?

Thank you and blessed be



· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • oxygen18
    oxygen18 Member Posts: 164
    edited July 2018

    Gosh, Jo, creative self-flagellation, not sure I even understand all of the terms, I do get Buddha though, he was a cool guy, had a belly like many of us.

    You may wish to ask the plastic surgeon about best timing of reconstruction, with respect to weight loss. Go to intended weight first, or does it much matter either way?

    There are books on body sculpting, you can do some of the exercises with minimal equipment such as a stretch band and homemade weights.

    Take care.


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jadedjo
    Jadedjo Member Posts: 469
    edited September 2018

    I am working on the belly doing Pilates based "barefoot cardio"but past experience has shown I will lose in upper body,waist and back but not hips,legs or belly. Body sculpting will help me lose inches and strengthen muscles but I don't get a choice on where it comes off. 

    I will definitely be talking to the surgeon about all the issues and questions. 

    My question is more when you have a body type like mine how does one camouflage?

    Blessed be.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • oxygen18
    oxygen18 Member Posts: 164
    edited July 2018

    As hard as it would have been for me to believe before mx, it is impossible for any colleagues etc to know I wear a prosthesis on one side. I ran tests :)

    With lumpectomy or double mx, the aesthetic problem is even easier to address.

    If you reconstruct, you may be able to choose cup sizes. Or you'd likely qualify for free prostheses, also with choice of cup size, tho you wouldn't want to go Dolly Parton overnight :)

    About toning specific areas that are habitually problematic: it is doable but requires permanent commitment. Example: if I go a few weeks without toning abdomen, as I did after mx, it begins to become buddhalike, even if I haven't gained weight, ggrrr.

    That you can easily tone your waist is great. A well delineated waist and flat belly may be a key part of making you feel more feminine.

    After surgery, you can also ask the physical therapist for fitness tips on getting to the body you want, at the rate that is best for your overall health.

    Take care.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Leatherette
    Leatherette Member Posts: 448
    edited July 2018

    Not plus-sized, but was flat on one side for a year. Scarves and shirts with big cowl necks can be helpful.


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited July 2018

    yep, the belly enters the room before the rest of me. I’ve been flat for 6 years, have no interest in reconstruction. I wear whatever I want, don’t try to hide. Yes, I’ve been called sir, I growl back that’s ma’m to you. What’s left of my hair is short.

    If someone wants to judge my looks, phooey on them. Walk a mile or two in my Birkenstock.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jadedjo
    Jadedjo Member Posts: 469
    edited July 2018

    Oxygen18

    I am seeing a dietitian this week and will see if she knows anybody who can also help. Actually if I do reconstruct I would want to go smaller so no worries about Dolly Parton here.Thanks.

    Leatherette

    I think I have a collection of scarves here  that might come in handy.thanks

    Spookiesmom

    I'm get called sir already, that's wearing feminine clothing,wearing long hair  and carrying a purse.one time I was wearing a sundress. It can be hell on the self esteem.and that was before BC so who knows what's going to happen now. I know what you mean it seems to be a race between my boobs and my belly who is gonna enter the room first. It depended on the day which would win.

    Thanks


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Sunny_Girl
    Sunny_Girl Member Posts: 111
    edited July 2018

    Plus size here and happily flat. I don’t miss the weight of my breasts - surgery was 6 years ago this month & laughed when asked about reconstruction. I don’t wear prosthetics and agree with above, blouses, shirts - nothing clingy.

    I do need to work on my weight, but that’s another post. Every time I start going down a weight loss path - I read something like this - “except for hormone positive breast cancer”.

    Good luck to you -

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jadedjo
    Jadedjo Member Posts: 469
    edited July 2018

    Also good luck to you

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Marie715
    Marie715 Member Posts: 46
    edited August 2018

    Yes, Spookies Mom, pretty much my thoughts also. I had a double mastectomy in Feb. 2014. I wear prosthetics to work but on weekends or evenings, I take those off and go flat. I am overweight and have a belly. I don't really care if it looks odd. The main thing is that I be comfortable.

    One funny incident. I guess I am more self conscious about going out flat in public than I realized. One time my husband and I were shopping and when I left the cashier I said to my husband 'She just called me Sir.'. He goes "No, she just said Happy Easter'. : ) That made me feel better.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Marie715
    Marie715 Member Posts: 46
    edited August 2018

    Sunny_girl, I'm curious about your statement 'Every time I start going down a weight loss path - I read something like this - "except for hormone positive breast cancer". What weight loss plan did you hear that about? I've been on Weight Watchers for one month. I'm pretty sure it is a safe weight loss program but your statement caught my attention. Thank you.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Sunny_Girl
    Sunny_Girl Member Posts: 111
    edited August 2018

    Evening Marie715 - I just caught this.

    Before I was diagnosed with breast ca, I was on a diet program called HMR (prepackaged meals & protein shakes). My sister had lost >100 lbs on it and we have similar tastes so I thought I’d give it a try. I lost >40 lbs and then my world crashed in. Turns out the shakes were high in soy & im very estrogen positive. I really liked that diet.

    I was doing keto - not overboard, no butter in my coffee & then read the article about low fat diets.

    The last thing that set me over the edge was an article from US News that said if you want to avoid getting cancer, avoid eating asparagus & a listed few other vegetables. I was just done at that point.

    I talked to my Onc and just said - tell me what to do - Just tell me, it’s not like I don’t think about losing weight everyday, but I start down a path and get so far and then read something that says I probably shouldn’t be doing it.

    My Onc gave me the numbers of their weight loss program and I’m going to see them. I don’t want to have surgery right off the bat because I was successful (or at least heading in the right way with weight loss) in losing weight. She said they would have some kind of restrictive program that could help me get back on the weight loss path.

    Good luck with Weight Watchers - my SIL has done really well with their program.

    Patty

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Dhanno
    Dhanno Member Posts: 104
    edited August 2018

    Hi Jadedjo I met a plus sized woman in the waiting area when I went for consultation with the BS .She was very jolly and full of life .I must have chatted with her for half an hour .I never noticed for even once that she had mastectomy .She wearing a T shirt with no bra .Her body was looking so normal without breast That was the first time I realized that I am giving over importance to breasts .So when my BS advised me to go mastectomy first and go for reconstruction later I did not panic .I will be going for mastectomy without reconstruction very soon .May be after mastectomy I will go into depression but as for now I am cool about it .Since I am going for UMX I will be using prosthesis for some months . Here in Australia only 1 in 10 woman goes for reconstruction where as in USA 7 in 10 go for reconstruction .

    I think it is easier for women with BMX to go flat . With UMX it is very tough

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jadedjo
    Jadedjo Member Posts: 469
    edited September 2018

    @dhanno

    Yes bmx is my main option one of the many reasons is that I want be even whether with implants or flat,the reconstruction is dependent on the plastic surgeon as the only one I'm willing to go for is DTI with a smaller breast size.

     I'm not up for getting my body cut into more then then the breasts. If he says I need to lose weight before he will do it then I will go flat with foobs until I can get to an acceptable weight.

    It's going to be hard mentally and emotionally whichever way it goes.im losing a part of me that's been there since I was 9 and I'm probably going to lose most feeling in my chest.

    I'm told the best thing to do is have therapy already in place so you have a place to go after surgery.

    Take care.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Scarlett1
    Scarlett1 Member Posts: 23
    edited August 2018

    I am a big woman and have had huge "girls" all my life. I used to be able to work a party like nobody else. My boobs were the brunt of hundreds of jokes and a big part of how I self identified. 21 years ago, however, the girls turned on me and I had my first breast cancer. I had a lumpectomy, 14 nodes removed, radiation and chemo. All this was followed by 2 full years of infections. They finally opened me up to my chest wall and my partner had to stuff medicated gauze in twice every day until it grew from the inside out. 5 years later I had uterine and fallopian cancers resulting in a complete hysterectomy. Then in 2016, I was diagnosed with a different type of breast cancer (My first was triple negative Grade 1 Stage 1 - my second was ER Positive Stage 1 Grade 3.5) So - I had more surgery, more radiation, more chemo - bald for the third time). THEN just after I completed my Herceptin infusions, I went in for my regular annual mammogram and they found an area that was "suspicious" in my right breast - the good one that never caused any problems before. I had a very painful biopsy that bled like crazy and bruised and waited a week to find out it was negative - no cancer....

    That was enough for me, however. I cannot keep doing this. Enough is enough... I know how to fix that. I just have the girls removed. My surgeon is fabulous. My wife is fully supportive as are my friends. We had just invited them all over for my 65th birthday party and found out my surgeon is pregnant so a fast surgery was needed if I wanted her around for the followup business - which I do.... So we un-invited my friends and in the process made a general announcement. Surgery is tomorrow and I am well versed in all the issues that can happen from back flesh bulging to "dog ears?". I am a diabetic so have no plans for reconstruction. I have been wearing a prosthetic on one side for many years - especially after my most recent surgery as my left breast was about 1/4 the size of the other.

    As a "big girl" my boobs have really let me down over the past couple of decades. What used to be perky and lovely had become downward looking and had settled at about my waist. Sorry to be so graphic but I think you can see that while I may miss the girls... The girls I miss are the ones of many years ago. .I am so looking forward to losing the quiet fear that was always at the back of my mind - Do I have more cancer? My chance of more breast cancer is (or will be tomorrow) 1 - 2 %. That I can live with. My oncologist commented as we were chatting a few weeks ago. "Your next cancer will be breast cancer." Well. I am taking care of that. I believe in the power of prayer so if any of you are so inclined, I would appreciate any kind thoughts you can send my way. Surgery will be at 8 am Pacific Time Wed. August 29, 2018.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Snickersmom
    Snickersmom Member Posts: 926
    edited August 2018

    You have my prayers, Scarlett. I know you are going to be just fine.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jeniferg
    Jeniferg Member Posts: 1
    edited September 2018

    Hi, just found this website. I had double mastectomy without reconstruction May of 2018. I am having a hard time adjusting. I have line backer shoulders which slouch now because it hurts to sit up straight. I have a toady frog belly that seems to not go away and so so sore. I am trying to embrace my appearance but lately it seems like instead of looking at my face they go straight to my flat chest. 😒 Never been self conscious because I love my curves but 3 months now I don’t like myself. Hang in there, big girls unite!!!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories