When do your implants start feeling more like “you”?

Thanks for the replies, ladies!!! Your stories are very encouraging. I hope I do as well as it seems you guys have.

Debal- Haha! We can Be patient together! It's definiteky not my strong suit;)

Vermonster- so glad you're starting to feel like yourself! Watch out for those bees:)

NotVeryBrave/ I'm so glad to hear you've had some return of sensation. I'm holding out hope for some more, but who knows. Thanks for the compliment on being brave....but I'm nowhere near as brave as all of you. I watched my mom endure A LOT during her bc, and I justdidn't want to do that...and I couldn't have her watch me do it. Btw...she's a warrior..., stage 3b in 2004.....still trucking with no recurrence! She's my hero

Stherye- Hey there!! I’m getting better day by day, I think. It’s been about 3 1/2 weeks since my surgery, and I can say i emotionally feel better this Saturday than 2 Saturdays ago. It’s incredibly slow, but I’m headed in the right direction. They still feel foreign, but honestly, it IS getting less foreign each day. It’s just not as fast as I would like. I am incredibly impatient though about everything in life and just want to fast forward to a time when it all feels better. I am very sad about the loss of my natural breasts, which I wasn’t expecting. So, I’m starting from a lower point than I thought. I somehow thought because I chose to do this proactively and that I didn’t have children/don’t want children/no breastfeeding link...that it would somehow not feel like mourning. I was wrong. But I’ve talked to a lot of women who didn’t mourn at all.....truly. It’s hard to know exactly how you’ll feel. That’s the scary part. For me, breast cancer was scarier.

This whole process is teaching me patience and teaching me to be vulnerable.....two things I hate. I did get a prescription for a super low dose of anti-anxiety meds. They help knock the edge off. I can wake up in misery then be on top of the world an hour later. It’s crazy. I’m also scheduled to see a counselor. It is getting better. My mother (bc survivor), my friend (who was diagnosed young), and all of these beautiful women her on BCO have told me it does get better....that it is just a whole lot slower and harder than you want. I trust their words are true. They have already lived it.

On a physical note....I have to say I have been super fortunate. It’s still early, but I think my new boobs look like rockstars. They really are looking and feeling more natural as time passes. Think they are going to work out just fine. I was able to keep my skin and nipples, and I did over the muscle implants with Alloderm. They are teardrop shapes and are the cohesive gel “gummy bear” ones. My pain was minimal and quit taking the narcotic pain meds within a week of surgery. I’m not in pain anymore but still take ibuprofen to help the swelling. I was a little stiff at first, but I could lift my arms up, back, to the side....almost full range of motion within a few days. I put my hair up in a ponytail in the hospital by myself. The nurse was blown away. The prepec placement seems to be a lot less painful than under the muscle. I’ve seen excellent results from both though. I know a lot of PS don’t do the prepec implants, and mine won’t under certain circumstances. I just happened to be a good candidate. Did the PS say why they wouldn’t do prepec for you? Is there a reason why they think it may be the better choice for you or do they just not do that procedure? If you want prepec, check out some more PS and find one that does it. It’s becoming more common.

I do still have a lot of swelling. They feel really heavy to me right now. I’m not sure if that’s because of the swelling or the size (I was a D cup before and they seem a little larger now, although look amazingly similar to my originals). I’ve talked to my PS about going down a size, possible fat grafting (I do see some rippling)....all the possibilities if I don’t end up liking what I see after I’m healed. He has assured me that I have options, not to feel trapped. I like to have backup plans for everything. This is no different. I have to wait 3-6 months to let everything calm down before I can see if I want/need revisions. Waiting is not my strong suit. Argh.

I’m sorry you had to postpone your surgery. It seemed like waiting for it was worse. Hang in there! I know about worrying about complications...I still worry! I think it is just part of jumping off of that cliff. You can look to make sure there are no rocks sticking out of the water, but you still worry if there are some down there that you can’t see. It’s a permanent decision, which makes it nerve racking. But hey- there are no guarantees with anything in life. I figured I just had to jump, so I held my breath and jumped. I haven’t hit any rocks yet:). Also, remember to look at some women who have done it proactively and have gotten on with their lives and skipped out on breast cancer. Forums like BCO can sometimes give you a skewed picture since it is a support community. Many members have quit coming to the boards because they feel that they are moving on. You don’t get to hear those stories:).

Thinking of you!!!