Just diagnosed - Can’t. Stop. Crying. (41yo)

I'm so sorry you are joining our little club, but glad you found us. All of those tests and appointments sound right if that's any consolation. My best advice is to be sure you have an oncologist who you can talk openly with and trust. All of your feelings are normal, so come here to vent anytime.

Being diagnosed is a complete and total shock to the entire system. I am so sorry that you are here but sounds like the docs are doing all the right things.

Hang in there, breathe, cry, spend time with your loved ones and get some fresh air, take walks. It is a process and you do not have to make any major decisions today. You have the right to take a little time to decide what you need.

I immediately started seeing a therapist that specializes in people with cancer diagnoses. I was going to twice a week to get through the early days. It really helped me.

Sending a big hug your way!

sadly did your doctor offer you anything to help ease your anxiety? I was given ativan and it helped while I was waiting to get my treatment plan in place...hugs!

This part is SO Hard! I hope you get the medical team together soon and your plan in place. The tears are so natural and healthy. I cried every night and slowly I felt stronger.

Hugs to you.

Sadly - I'm new to this whole whirlwind too and your age. You're not alone.

I'm sorry you're here but all of the appts/tests/scans you have going on sound like an echo of the ones I just finished up last week.

I will have my Lumpectomy on 8-30. Up until yesterday I had no idea whether I would have a to have a bi lat mast or a lump. The not knowing and the waiting is the hardest part like others have said. I felt so much relief just knowing the results of my BRCA panel and knowing I could safely choose my surgery at this point. I do feel better that there is a plan of surgery but it's all so scary.

Come here and vent whenever you need. I do hope your team will give you something to help calm your nerves a bit while you are waiting. We're here for you! Hang in there.

(((((Sadly)))))

caren, hang in there. You will get through this. I had BMX with TEs. Just had my exchange last week. I know how scared and sad you are. I will be thinking about you and please lean on all of us for support. Hugs

Caren - hang in there, girl. We've all got your back and you are going to come through your surgery with flying colors. You will be amazed at the amount of strength you have deep inside. Lean on your family and your friends for support, too. You're going to be fine.

I'll be saying a prayer for you and in the meantime, here's a huge cyberhug from Florida.

Ann

Sadlynew, I'm approaching 1 year anniversary of my DX. I was 40, no family history. I had genetic testing and have no mutations. They did Invitae 42 genes (I saw this is what they did for you), and since no mutations were found there, I could expand to 90+ panel, and also my counselor was able to customize it for me - we added a few melanoma genes, because even though I have no BC family history, my father had melanoma twice.

Anyway, what I wanted to tell you is that things do get easier. First few weeks are pure hell, though. I remember I would wake up every day, and as soon as I remembered what was going on, I would start crying. I would walk around like zombie and mumble "I can get through it" like a mantra. It actually helps, because saying things helps keep your mind occupied. Prayer helps too.

I got Ativan (lorazepam) prescription filled the day of my biopsy, and took my first pill the day I was supposed to hear results. I used Ativan a fair bit during the first month or so, until we had more information and my treatments started. Then I felt more in control and didn't need it as much. But it saved my and my hubby's sanity.

MRI is a good idea - my DCIS on my "good" side was found via MRI, which solidified my decision for BMX. Not saying it will happen to you, I hope not, but we are young, our breasts are dense, so my Grade 1 DCIS wasn't seen on mammo, only on MRI. I remember when they told me I have DCIS on another side, in addition to invasive cancer, I got so angry!

I had chemo first, so in a way, I had more time to process before surgery happened. It may very well be that you won't need chemo, just wait and see what the results show. I also saw therapist and a host of alternative treatment providers. It helped. I developed some techniques of dealing with this s..t. None of us has it all together at all times, but you are in the worst part of it, and it will get better. Hugs.

Big hugs to you. What you say about chemo decision sounds right.

Even thought you've decided on BMX, I would still push for MRI, I hope it is not off the table. It will give your surgeon a much better picture of what you are dealing with.

You will find that sharing with those who understand really really helps. Friends and family will try to be helpful, but they often don't know what to say or ask. For me, the world is now divided in those who understand, and those who are sympathetic.

Erm, about that "positive attitude". Don't feel like you HAVE to be positive. Because, let's face it, this crap happened. Your life would be so much better without it. People who tell us to be positive often haven't gone through the same thing.

Positiveness will come. You will feel better after surgery and when you have more info from MRI.

A year ago I couldn't imagine my life now. I am much more positive now, and so will you. But don't feel like you are "failing to be positive". Feel what you feel.

Just sending you a hug! I am right there with you

It gets better Sadly. Geez I was an emotional wreck when I was diagnosed. Couldn't believe this crap was happening to me. I'm 4 years out now and I hardly think about cancer.Hang in there you're going to be just fine. Hugs

Nancy

Hi Sadly - me too! Diagnosed 8/23. Having L mastectomy 9/25 with TE. Sometimes I can talk about it without tearing up. Other times not so much. The closer my surgery gets, the cleaner my house - so much nervous energy. Keeping as busy as possible. Waiting is so tough. This site is like one great big hug. Who knows better than those going through this?! Keep us posted.