lymph node... can't stop crying

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Adelozier
Adelozier Member Posts: 84
edited September 2018 in Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned

Hi. Last week I felt a firm mobil round ball deep in my arm pit after getting home from the gym. I started a pretty intense workout program 6 weeks ago. I had a mx 1 year ago with no reconstruction after a failed lumpectomy with implant removal ( had them before cancer) . I went to the obgyn right away as My oncologist and surgeon dumped me when my insurance changed 2 months ago. He said he thought it was a cyst but sent me for ultrasound. US radiologist said 5ge lymph node was pretty unremarkable BUT the cortex was 3mm for 3 /4 of it and 4mm for the other 1/4 and this could be early met. disease. I'm 38 and had no lymph nodes involved ( although I'm started to question everything now) Radiologist said hed be suprised if it turned up to be cancer and recommended either interval imaging or biopsy. I had the biopsy with another radiologist that gave me less hope. Then met with the surgeon who is new to my case and had not felt the lymph node prior to biopsy. He said that it would be rare to have a reoccurance in the node with mx and node negative prior and that with what us saw it was about a 10 percent chance its cancer. I'm literally I'll with worry. I have a 4 year old son. My life is falling apart but my son needs me. Has ANYONE had b9 results from a lymph node like this ???????? They said it's not enlarged, fatty helium is present ect. I'm paralyzed and cant stop crying. Looming for ANY hope at all that it's not back already ... waiting for results are killing me and on top of it my mom is waiting liver biopsy results ... Please say a prayer for me andvmy family....

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  • Cpeachymom
    Cpeachymom Member Posts: 518
    edited August 2018

    Adelozier-

    So sorry you’re worried again. ❤️ I hate that so many of us are always on the edge of panic with every new lump and bump! But please take a deep breath. Try not to freak out until you actually have to.

    I also had a borderline enlarged, palpable node in my armpit, but prior to surgery. They biopsied it just to be sure. It was clear. It sounds like they are pretty confident yours is benign as well. But they are checking, which is awesome.

    I’ll be thinking of you. Sending strength your way.

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  • Adelozier
    Adelozier Member Posts: 84
    edited August 2018

    Thank you ... never thought of find somthing like this so soon.. very worn out.

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  • grainne
    grainne Member Posts: 245
    edited August 2018

    Hi. I had a palpable node removed at my lumpectomy. It was clear. There are innocent causes for these so try not to wear yourself out thinking the worst, although I know we all do. We will all keep thinking about you so please do not feel alone. Let us know as soon as you get your results. X

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  • Adelozier
    Adelozier Member Posts: 84
    edited August 2018

    Thank you .... Trying to stay positive but this is all coming at me rapid fire I feel like.

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  • Snickersmom
    Snickersmom Member Posts: 926
    edited August 2018

    I never had that happen but you need to hang in there and stay positive. You have lots of support here.

    Sending hugs and prayers

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  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited August 2018

    When diagnosed six years ago I had 7 out of 14 nodes positive.....I have had many odd lumps and things since then but all proved benign........its really hard but please try and stay calm......until you know, good luck

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  • Adelozier
    Adelozier Member Posts: 84
    edited August 2018

    Lilly, they said this is def a lymph node. My husband is out if town, I have no family except my mom and stew waiting for her own biopsy results. I'm home with my toddler and literally melting down

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  • stephilosphy00
    stephilosphy00 Member Posts: 386
    edited August 2018

    Dear Adelozier,

    Stay strong! Very likely it will turn out just nothing!


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  • Adelozier
    Adelozier Member Posts: 84
    edited August 2018

    Thank u everyone. I'm usually not like this. Im a RN and usually very put together but, cancer has taken that away and this "scare " has sealed the deal. Tried therapy... live in a small town ...so it didnt work... could use Prayer

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  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited August 2018

    I fail to see why you have taken umbrage at my post. But my gloves are off now. Lymph nodes do go up and down and you have a 90% chance of it being fine! I don´t really appreciate such a sarky private message when my post was meant as supportive so will leave you to your self pity......if you do want to move forward with this then try some Havening or trauma therapy with a therapist who understands cancer.

    And please don´t abuse the private message system again with a personal snipe at me just because you are not coping, you know what? You are not alone in this and have the unique ability to be the only person who has provoked me to write an annoyed message in reply.....enjoy your wallow in self pity then pick yourself up and move on. You are in charge of your recovery and whether you let fear rule or not.....but don´t dump on someone else who has had cancer as you are having a bad day

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  • Adelozier
    Adelozier Member Posts: 84
    edited August 2018

    Lilly, my private message was not in anyway meant to be that way. I was apologizing for sounding so crazy.... it turns out it is cancer. Dr just called. Take care..

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  • Pi-Xi
    Pi-Xi Member Posts: 348
    edited August 2018

    I'm so sorry, Adelozier! My heart aches for you.
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  • Cpeachymom
    Cpeachymom Member Posts: 518
    edited August 2018

    Adelozier- I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this s#!t again. Big hugs to you. I will be keeping you in my thoughts.

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  • Adelozier
    Adelozier Member Posts: 84
    edited August 2018

    my oncotype was 13




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  • Cpeachymom
    Cpeachymom Member Posts: 518
    edited August 2018

    Oncotype assumes five years on Tamoxifen though. I know you had to quit it. Did you end up taking an AI? I’m in no way blaming you. It’s just Oncotype isn’t useful if you’re not on anti hormonals. You only had one node out at surgery, so perhaps this one was already “sick” and they just didn’t find it then until it grew enough for you to notice? Cancer is a sneaky MF.

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited August 2018

    I am sorry to hear that it is cancer. I know it is a kick in the gut. Like initial diagnosis, the first week or so is the toughest mentally because you have no answers and no plan. Hoping that it is an isolated node and that there is no further spread. Hoping you have a plan in place soon.

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  • SSInUK
    SSInUK Member Posts: 245
    edited August 2018

    Hi there - this is very likely ‘persistent’ disrase not recurrent - ie it was always there. That makes it treatable and doable and CURABLE. I found two more nodes (internal mammary) with cancer 15 months after initial DX and after all treatment. And look up 7of9 who had multiple modes a couple of years after Tx. It’s a shock , it’s hard - but it’s very treatable. I had a 4 year old too. your overall dx, with one node is wat more favourable than that of many stage 3 ladies who are doing very well

    So buckle up and get it sorted - you can do it!! Good luck and sorry for your suffering x

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  • Ashweb901
    Ashweb901 Member Posts: 67
    edited September 2018

    @lilly - I have read far enough to know that your instincts were excellent to keep pursuing your lymph node issue and the result is that it was cancerous. And I can SO identify with your gut-wrenching panic. One of the worst effects of this disease isn't physical. It is the debilitating fear.

    I have been there and I live right along the border of it. Information is power and it has helped me out of SO many many scrapes and near misses with medical services. Yet I have to remind myself that just because I have been right 3 out of 4 times does not mean that every single pain or symptom Is something menacing. I think back to my statistics class - the one where the problems are “if this, and this, but not this, thenwe can (or can't) assume X" - and I realize how many questionable stories I tell myself about my body's health.

    So hard to have the “right" amount of vigilance and persistence. Much love to you. I have so much empathy for your feelings

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