Well, here I am...

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JustBE
JustBE Member Posts: 7
edited August 2018 in IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)

On July 18, I was given a mammogram. A complete fluke. I'm 45 with no family history of BC. The radiologist working that day believes in screening at 40 so I was offered one. I said yes. They found something suspicious. After ultrasound, with her hand on my leg, looking directly into my eyes she said, "I need you to come in for a biopsy on Friday. Can you come on Friday?" I knew in that moment that life was about to change. On July 25 I was diagnosed with IDC. We will see the surgeon on Monday to discuss options.

While I'm not happy to be here on this message board, I am grateful for a place to learn and share with people who "get it." Thank you for being here and allowing this to be a safe place during these tender times.

What I'm struggling with most is that this was a complete blindside. I wasn't expecting this AT ALL. I have no pain. I didn't feel a lump. Before the biopsy I didn't even know where it was! The bruising left behind was a marker. Were any of you completely, unexpectedly,blindsided and what feelings came up for you?

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  • Jadedjo
    Jadedjo Member Posts: 469
    edited August 2018

    Ya I was blindsided.no family history.never even crossed my mind that I could get breast cancer as colon cancer is what runs in my moms side.

    Mine was caught on a CT i got to check for another illness. I thought it was just a cyst. Turned out it was cancer.

    My lump is deep enough that my surgeon said he wasn't surprised I never felt it.

    I don't know how to tell you this but your going to feel that blindsided feeling for awhile.especially when your in that inbetween place of diagnosis and treatment because you still don't know what's coming and you know you have some life changing decisions to make.

    Mostly I feel angry and heartbroken because I have already endured about five years of hell in my life and now I got  this.

    Anger will probably pop up for you too if it hasn't already. Actually I'm told many run the five stages of grief. I have yet to hit acceptance.

    Take care,fingers crossed for clear margins and a great treatment plan.

    Blessed be.

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  • Ingerp
    Ingerp Member Posts: 2,624
    edited August 2018

    I’ve never felt a lump, never had any pain, no real family history. I think that’s more the norm than the exception. Be grateful you caught it early. You have a bit of a journey ahead of you but you’ll get out the other side and be fine. Just a bump in the road.

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited August 2018

    JustBe, we're so very sorry to hear of your diagnosis, but we're really glad you found us. You're sure to find our Community an incredible source of information, advice, and support, as you can already see.

    Please let us know if you need anything at all as you navigate your diagnosis and treatment. We're all here for you!

    --The Mods

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  • Snickersmom
    Snickersmom Member Posts: 926
    edited August 2018

    I know exactly what you mean. I have always been very healthy, my mom died at 104 of natural causes (she was only in the hospital 3 times when she had me and my siblings!) and never took a pill in her entire life. My brother died of breast cancer 4 years ago, and Duke told him it was most likely directly related to the Agent Orange he was exposed to in Vietnam. He als tested negative for the BRAC gene. And then out of the blue, I was diagnosed after a routine mammogram and ultrasound. No lumps, no bumps, nothing.

    Anger? Oh yeah. I had to have a BMX because there were 2 other suspicious "things" that weren't close to the tumor. So I said don't take one, take them both. No way I wanted to have just one and I didn't do reconstruction. I'm 71 and just couldn't see the point. And by the way, this was my 70th birthday present!!! My husband reminds me that it really was a gift of life. Yes, I know that, but it's not easy.

    I am on Zoloft and probably will be for the rest of my life. I also see a therapist, who tells me that I do suffer from PTSD and she said most of us do. I haevn't seemed to go through the grieving process and I don't know if I will. I do have my good day and bad days and I really try hard to be grateful, but it's not always easy.

    So, go ahead and feel angry, upset, and whatever you want to feel. We are all in the same boat and we are all here for each other.

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  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,710
    edited August 2018

    Yes! Blindsided, betrayed and completely devastated. My mom and aunt got BC in their 60’s, I had a clear mammogram (my 1st at 40). I thought I might get it in my 60’s too but I felt a lump, had ALL the tests and was diagnosed stage IV with a hip bone met in less than two weeks from finding the lump. I freaked out, then once I had a plan and realized I still felt good/normal, I decided to push on and live it up.

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