Just looking for support...

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Hannakelly2010
Hannakelly2010 Member Posts: 2
edited July 2018 in Just Diagnosed

Hi,

I'm just looking for a little support and reassurance from anyone who has been in my shoes.

I got diagnosed 4 days ago with stage 2 IDC ER+. I will be having a CT and MRI on Thursday to see if it has spread beyond my lymph nodes. I'm 35 years old with 3 young children and did not expect this in a million years. There is zero history of any cancer at all in my family. I'm relatively healthy (run 5km 3 times a week) although a little overweight. I don't drink or smoke. Never took illegal drugs. Breastfed my children well.

My husband, family and friends have been amazing, but despite their attention and concern, I've never felt more lonely.

I'm outwardly positive and reassuring everyone around me that its going to be fine and that I'm going to beat this, and I genuinely believe this to be true. However there is still that doubt that this might beat me and that my children will be left without a mother.

I have promised myself that every decision and action going forward has to be in the interest of beating this disease, hence this decision to look for support from anyone who will offer it, when all I feel like doing is crying - I know that's not going to help me.

Thanking you in advance

A scared mammy with some dodgy cells...

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Comments

  • moth
    moth Member Posts: 4,800
    edited July 2018

    Hi Hannakelly - sorry you find yourself here. You've got this - it's early stage, it's treatable.


    Good luck with the scans on Thursday. It's all nerve wracking at first, but once you have a treatment plan in place you will be calmer. The fear stays, unfortunately & we all need to learn to cope with it, but you'll find your way and there are many young women here who I hope you'll become friends with. Fwiw, the keeping a brave & optimistic face thing can be exhausting. I'd do it for your kids but find some adults (paid counsellors if necessary) with whom you can be brutally honest about your feelings.

    hugs


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  • Dhanno
    Dhanno Member Posts: 104
    edited July 2018

    Hi Hanna

    You have every reason to feel like this. It is pretty normal .You are at a stage where you do not have exact pathology .Once your Breast surgeon meets you ,then things will move towards getting rid of your cancer .You will feel relieved once the surgeon removes it from the body Next treatment will depend on your pathology report .

    Do not worry. We all are going through the same .Best of luck


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  • ElaineTherese
    ElaineTherese Member Posts: 3,328
    edited July 2018

    ((Hugs))

    Hope your scans go well and that they show that your cancer is early stage. I'm with moth; it's hard to maintain a positive exterior if you feel like crying. Take some time to cry, scream, rant, or whatever if you have to. While you probably will have many years with your family and friends (breast cancer is highly treatable), there's no reason to deny that your life has been changed and that you may not return to the carefree old days.

    In the meantime, try to stay busy and not to dwell too much on your diagnosis.


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  • Hannakelly2010
    Hannakelly2010 Member Posts: 2
    edited July 2018

    Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.

    I'm a nurse myself and very familiar with both my breast consultant and my oncologist. My breast consultant was very positive when giving me the diagnosis, advised me not to cancel a trip I have planned to New York in December (I'm in Ireland) and reassured me that I would be given every treatment available to me.

    I know that I'm going to need chemo, surgery and radiotherapy. And then tablets for 5-10 years...

    It's already exhausting putting on a brave face, but I need everyone to believe in me so don't feel like I can show any doubt. I'm going to drop in to my local cancer support centre tomorrow, so hopefully I can get some advice there.

    I'm petrified of where this might have spread to and what that will mean for my prognosis

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  • DebAL
    DebAL Member Posts: 877
    edited July 2018

    hi Hanna, I am sorry you are here but you will find much support in this forum and you don't have to wear that brave face with us that's for sure. It is so so much to take in in the beginning but once things get moving with your treatment plan it will get better. I am a nurse too and worked with my breast surgeon never imagining ever being her patient. It's an advantage to know your breast consultant and oncologist so well. Hang in there and know we are here for you. Keep us posted. ((Big hug))

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited July 2018

    Welcome to our community, Hannakelly! We know these early days and weeks can be difficult, but you're in the right place for support as you being down this road.

    The Mods

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  • Ingerp
    Ingerp Member Posts: 2,624
    edited July 2018

    Let the tears come when they may but the bottom line is you will get past this and be fine. There are so many wonderful hand-holders on this site--come back whenever you need to to vent. We really do get it. In the meantime I agree distraction is good. The more other stuff you have going on in your life, the less the BC will be all-consuming. Calm, steady breaths. It'll be okay.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2018

    I echo Ingerp's reply just above. I felt lonely and scared like you, and when I did I found this wonderful site and realized there are so many of us who are sharing those up and down emotions as well as really great knowledge, treatment options and research here. Nearly every time I visited here I felt uplifted and stronger. I hope you can find that here too.

    Hugs,

    Claire (in AZ).

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  • Kj007475
    Kj007475 Member Posts: 2
    edited July 2018

    I have bone marrow failure and aplastic anemia ! I am a little concerned everyone I spoke with suggested I should have a biopsy of my cyst to make sure no cancer cells or masking a tumor! Sometimes a cyst can be mistaken as not cancerous what would be a wise decision I need help!

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited July 2018

    Dear Kj007474,

    Welcome to the BCO community. We are sorry that you are having these concerns. It is not clear from what you who is suggesting the biopsy. Have you been seen by a medical practice or are these suggestions coming from loved ones. This particular thread is for those who are diagnosed with breast cancer. It is not clear that this is your situation. You may want to add some details and post your questions in the forum for those who are not diagnosed but worried. Let us know via pm if you have other questions or if we can be of help. The Mods


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  • dwilder2
    dwilder2 Member Posts: 1
    edited July 2018

    Just diagnosed with DCIS, because it is a small area recommend lumpectomy, Doctors are saying its contained and it would be stage 0, but can't be sure until surgery. Too much information at one and drs. are wanting me to schedule the surgery by next week, and I don't even know what may be best at this time. They saying lump, radiation, and some kind of blocking pill to block the estrogen. Now, I'm hearing about all the reoccurring bouts with cancer and not sure if I should do the MX surgery.

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  • beach2beach
    beach2beach Member Posts: 996
    edited July 2018

    Hannakelly,

    You can handle this, you got this. Can't say anything better than the other posters. Been almost a year for me. I just passed the date of when I started on this crappy journey. I'm here a year later. Those fears are scary. I cried then wouldn't cry for hours , then start back up. Mostly for fear of leaving my kids too. Let it happen if it needs to. Great you have such supportive family and friends. I know we try to keep a brave front for them. We don't want them to worry yet inside we feel like we are being swallowed up by it all. It's true, once a plan is in place, you get your hands on the steering wheel again and take back some control. We are here for you. Hoping for scans to be all good. (())

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  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited July 2018

    dwilder2 - we know you are scared and overwhelmed. It’s SOP for BC unfortunately.

    I had a lumpectomy, radiation and took Tamoxifen for 5 years. My BS told me the survival rates were the same for lumpectomy and MX which is hard to believe but true nonetheless. My sister had a MX and 4 years later had a local recurrence. Not metastatic but a recurrence just the same. Sometimes there is a stray cell hanging around. Neither surgery is a guarantee.

    Just a piece of advice - do your homework and be your own advocate. It’s your body and your life. Your medical team can and should advise you but the ultimate decision is yours.

    If it’s Stage 0 that’s good. If you have to be inflicted with BC that’s the stage to have. Mine was 1b. I’m 7 years out next month.

    Good luck whatever you decide. We are here to help if we can.

    Diane

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  • luba12
    luba12 Member Posts: 4
    edited July 2018

    Just would like to ask night shift workers are you continue work night shifts? I am a nurse and only provider in my family.I am working day and night shifts. What should I do after treatment? Should I ask my employer only day shifts?

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  • C_Elisabeth
    C_Elisabeth Member Posts: 4
    edited July 2018

    Hannakelly2010, I am so so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I received an almost identical diagnosis early last November (as a 41-year-old with a 6-year-old son), and my heart is feeling deeply with you, knowing just how this last year turned our world upside-down and inside-out. It's also been one of the sweetest, richest years of my life, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. A thousand blessings have been waiting for us as we've walked through the darkest, crappiest parts of this thing. I'm praying tonight that the same will be true for you. That the joys will outweigh the sorrows, and that you will feel strongly surrounded by those who love you dearly. Much love to you and your precious family.... Colleen

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  • FaithAndTrust
    FaithAndTrust Member Posts: 44
    edited July 2018

    dear Hannakelly

    I too live in Ireland so am sending you a special Irish hug💚

    I cried for probably about three months after my diagnosis as like you I have young children. The terror at the beginning was pure hell..thinking I was going to die and leave my kids..i just couldn't handle it.

    Eventually I found my way thru as you will too.. try to allow yourself grieve ...rather than using all your energy appearing strong for those around you. Remember they need to be strong for you now so that you can embark on your treatment and process all the emotions you need to allow yourself go thru on this journey. You will feel fear..denial..anger..deep sadness and finally acceptance ..not necessarily in that order and the feelings will come and go but it is I believe an important part of the journey and will hopefully give you the strength you need going forward.

    Keep coming here as I have found great wisdom and heart here.

    Hugs to you.xx

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  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited July 2018

    Luba -that’s up to you. Depends on how you feel and when and what treatments are scheduled.

    I didn’t have chemo but I did have radiation. 33 treatments to be exact. I scheduled them as soon as the cancer center was open in the morning. They weren’t too bad and I only suffered from fatigue halfway through the treatments and very little burning but I did work the night shift too.

    Regardless of what procedures you have you need to take care of you especially being the breadwinner.

    Good luck!

    Diane
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  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 1,536
    edited July 2018

    hello sweetie u can do this. Positive thinking help me get thru this. Treatment plan in place will ease some frustration n anxiety I was planning our second wedding at age at 42 when found the lump. Fiancee was so amazing n strong for me family n friends also. I am now a 24 yr Survivor Praise God. Hang in there. ms Phil idc stage2 0\3 nodes 3mo chemo before n after Lmast got married then 7 wks rads went on Honeymoon to mountains then 5yrs on Tamoxifen

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