Please pray for me. (WORRIED TO DEATH)

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elisa60
elisa60 Member Posts: 88
edited July 2018 in Not Diagnosed But Worried

I go July 19 2018 in just a few days to see biopsy my results. I can't sleep, I am making myself sick with worries. I just don't know what to do I just need someone to talk to. I think that I am having a nervous breakdown and need to go to the hospital for my depression. I do not want to cancel my appointment but I am getting cold feet as time get closer. I am not very strong right now. Just keep me in your prayers please.

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  • Kerri-on-cloud9
    Kerri-on-cloud9 Member Posts: 19
    edited July 2018

    I’ve found a lot of help on these forums. Every person who posts here has had or is currently experiencing the same paralyzing fear that you are. We can all agree waiting is the worst right up until that appointment to get results is here and you wish you could just bury your head in the sand and go back to the days before you had anything to worry about.

    You and everyone waiting and worrying hereare in my thoughts.

  • beach2beach
    beach2beach Member Posts: 996
    edited July 2018

    Elisa60,

    Hang in there. I know that awful feeling, going through each minute in a daze. Don't know whether to feel or not feel is better. It's not easy to think about it in terms of whatever it is, it is and there's probably nothing that you could have done any differently to change the course. Its so normal to feel this way. I hardly ate and slept. Fear of the unknown.

    Try to keep busy, it does make a difference, even if just going through the motions. You will get through this. Hugs.

  • elisa60
    elisa60 Member Posts: 88
    edited July 2018

    beach2beach Thank you. Fear of the unknown can be a nightmare, I am so glad I am not the only one who is going through or have been through this waiting anxiety, I do hope everybody have had a good outcome. It was only about three months ago when I self exam my breast there was nothing there and this golf size mass seem to come out of nowhere. I have tried to stay busy it helps but depression comes right back. When I see my biopsy results tomorrow I will update you and thank you so much.

  • elisa60
    elisa60 Member Posts: 88
    edited July 2018

    Kerri- on- cloud9 thank you for your helpful reply. Your are right this paralyzing fear has got me real good but I am going to go and see what this mass is, I am hoping for benign but if it's not I want the doctors to do what they have to do to get rid of this mass so I can feel normal again and I am going to make other changes in my life to get peace and live a better life. The day I found BCO was one of the best things that could happen to me. I found people who have given be good advice and helpful topics I do appreciate you very much and all those who have given me the most comforting comments.

  • BarbieT
    BarbieT Member Posts: 22
    edited July 2018

    Hi elisa60,

    I had my biopsy yesterday and will not get my results until the 25th. Seems like a long time to wait for something so serious.Through all of this I have just been keeping busy cleaning out closets and kitchen cabinets, washing the car, just whatever helps take my mind off of everything. Sometimes I just go outside to feel the sunshine and the wind on my face and know that I am blessed to be able to do that. I will keep you in my prayers and pray that you only get good news. You can do this, just breathe and take it one minute at a time. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

  • elisa60
    elisa60 Member Posts: 88
    edited July 2018

    Barbie T thanks you so much for such good advice. I am trying to keep busy and trying to keep a positive attitude but sometimes I just sink back in that dark place again. It does feel so good to wake up everyday and see the sunshine in your face. to hear the birds sing. Tomorrow about this time I will know. I hope that your biopsy report comes out good and be benign, wishing you the best. Thank you so much

  • BarbieT
    BarbieT Member Posts: 22
    edited July 2018

    elisa60,

    Thank you so much! I know exactly how it is to get to that dark place and it is truly a fight to get out of it. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

  • elisa60
    elisa60 Member Posts: 88
    edited July 2018

    BarbieT Thank you.

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