Waiting and so scared

Oh Ziggie,

I am so sorry you find yourself on this site and with the potential for IBC. Of course you are very scared. There does not appear to be a lot more you can do at this moment to know what is happening, but you are certainly on it, by getting the ultrasound tomorrow and the MRI already scheduled. And answers are days away vs weeks (although I know that it does not feel very helpful when you have to wait). Honestly, I think the best thing you can do right now is to take care of your heart and mind. I would distract myself. This is a high stress time given what you have learned thus far and been going through physically, and "not worrying" is not an easy option right now. The other thing I would explore is having your surgeon give you a prescription for an anxiolytic. Some people don't hesitate to take something and others do, but in this situation, where you are also physically uncomfortable, as well as terribly worried, it may help a lot. One thing about stress and trauma is that it can snowball, and it is good to catch it where and when you can so that you don't let your nervous system feel too out of whack.

I would search for good shows to watch that are uplifting and not creating more stress for your soul and body. And I would go toward the goodness in your life. Things you love and those you love (human or animals). And I would keep on building strength through not wearing yourself out. Rest, eat well, drink plenty of water, walk or swim or ride or stretch.

I don't know if you are reading this at night, but the night can be the roughest time for me. Move toward comfort, a nice shower, good lotions, all those nice things. I will be standing by to learn how things go tomorrow if you feel like sharing.

And right now I am sending you much love and hope. I am with you in strength.

Oh Ziggie,

Well done getting your ultrasound today, and getting to more answers soon. What trying days these are. What might you be up to between now and Friday? Any room in there to do special things for yourself? Will anyone go with you to that appointment? I hope you can take some time to gear up with strength and courage. Breathing exercises are my go to super strength. I practice them for at least 30 minutes a day and during my most trying times I did them two times a day for 30 minutes. It wasn't easy in the scariest of times, but now it is my favorite medicine without side effects . I also searched out every inspiring movie on overcoming difficult odds on Netflix and Amazon that I could find. I went as far back as Chariots of Fire! Watching others be strong and brave was very helpful to me... and frankly still is. That is one reason I am writing here on this site, I am in awe of everyone for doing their very best, standing up and speaking their truth, and moving forward in the face of fear.

You are doing it beautifully. You have my respect and love.

I understand I got the Dx but haven't seen the Dr. waiting on appt in Augusta Dx with DCIS in left breast and IDC in the right.

Ziggie,

Just a note to let you know I will be thinking of you tomorrow when you have your MRI. May it bring more information to bear so that you can move forward with strength and understanding!

Faye,

I am so sorry you find yourself here... with bilateral breast cancer to boot. I too had bilateral breast cancer. We are a small minority. How are you coming along and when is your appointment in August? Was the bilateral cancer diagnosed through surgery or imaging? I am thinking of you and hoping you are finding ways to soothe your soul during these difficult waiting days.

With much care and hope to you both!

Ziggie dear,

I am so so sorry to hear this news. Of course you are in shock. It is shocking, and the last news you wish to hear. Do you have any beloved people with you or near you that you can share this with? Can you think of any ways to help soothe yourself? You must be exhausted. I know not what to say, except to be as tender as possible with yourself, to remind yourself to breath, to reach out to those you feel you can trust and let them comfort you. More and more information will be forthcoming and you will have plenty of time to think later. If at all possible I would try to move toward things that are pleasant for your body, like a warm shower, foods that go down easy, gentle music, and if at all possible a little stretching to keep your muscles from tensing up too much. Compartmentalizing at this point never hurt anyone either. A movie could be helpful that way. If that is not a good idea now then journaling might help. But overall it is just one step in front of the next for the time being.

Keep your strength, it is early days yet on what you know. There are so many people in medicine who will be helping you and knowing how to do so.

Sending much love and hope.